Branna(48)

I had never had a real crush on a boy before Damien entered my life. I thought some boys around school and town were cute, and hot celebrities obviously drew my attention like any other red-blooded teenage girl, but I had no one who I really fancied myself being with. That all changed when I first saw Damien. His personality was larger than life, and as cheesy as it sounds, he looked like he was carved by angels. He was one of those perfect people you looked at and instantly knew that they would never glance in your direction, much less gaze in it.

Ten seconds after I clapped eyes on him, I was imagining our wedding. My stomach somersaulted when I pictured his white blond hair standing out against his black tuxedo as we said ‘I do’. How his grey eyes would stare into mine as he declared his undying love for me to the world. How his plump rosy lips would feel like velvet as they covered mine and claimed them in a heated kiss. How his smile would erase my every worry and fear and replace it with hope. How his large hands would hold mine when we strolled down the street.

It took another ten seconds for me to realise that I never stood a damn chance. Nearly every girl in our class, and the damn school, most likely had the same thoughts as I did and jumped to be the first one to grab and hold his attention.

It was mortifying to admit it to myself, but Damien consumed a huge part of my life, and we were barely even friends. If that didn’t label me as pathetic, then I didn’t know what would. The only thing on my side was that no one knew those embarrassing pieces of information… except for Bronagh, who was too attentive for her own good.

“Alannah, what’re you sighin’ for?” she asked, bumping my leg with hers.

I turned my attention to her. “Huh?”

“You keep sighin’.”

I do?

“Sorry, I’m just thinkin’.”

Bronagh stared at me, a perfectly shaped brow raised in question.

“About Damien?” she asked.

I felt my cheeks stain with heat. Bronagh was my best friend, but that title was new, and that meant she didn’t really know the depth of my feelings for Damien. No one did, and if I had it my way, no one would.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

Bronagh simpered. “You’re so cute when you blush.”

‘Cause that’s what every eighteen-year-old wants to be viewed as. Cute.

I playfully kicked at her. “Leave me alone.”

“Sorry,” she said, amusement gleaming in her eyes. “I forget how… much of an introvert you are.”

“I’m so not an introvert. You are.”

“Me?” Bronagh gleefully laughed.

I nodded. “Which one of us kept to ‘erself for years?”

“I was purposely blockin’ everyone out, though; you weren’t.”

I didn’t reply, so Bronagh raised her brow and stared at me, a knowing grin on her pink lips.

“Fine,” I grumbled. “I’m a little bit of an introvert, but it suits me fine. When I try to be outgoin’, it fails, so keepin’ to one’s self is a safe bet.”

“When did it fail?” Bronagh quizzed.

When hadn’t it failed was the real question.

I blinked. “With Damien.”

My friend frowned. “You’re his friend, his only female friend apart from me, and that’s only because I’m datin’ his brother. If I wasn’t, he’d probably try to hit on me then never talk to me again when he realised I wasn’t interested.”

“It’s not like we’re even real friends, though. I only see ‘im outside of school because I’m with you all the time now, and that means I’m also with Dominic, and where there is Dominic, there is Damien.”

“Alannah—”

“I don’t like when he flirts with me because I know what he wants,” I cut Bronagh off, swallowing. “He is so open about not wantin’ a relationship longer than a rumble under the bed sheets, but I don’t want to just have sex with ‘im. I don’t want to be on his hit list. I really like ‘im, and it sucks that he doesn’t like me in the same way.”

Bronagh reached over and placed her hand on my knee.

“Sorry, Lana. I wish he was different.”

“He is great the way he is,” I stressed. “But I want ‘im to like me. I don’t want to be like Destiny or Lexi; they go through lads like it’s no one’s business, and I can’t be like that. I can’t be like them just to have his attention. I just… I just wish I was worth more to ‘im than a quick shag… you know?”

Bronagh nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

The mood had quickly turned depressing, and I felt bad.

“I’m sorry, Bee. I’m bummin’ you out on your big night.”