He nodded. “Yeah. She’s strong, and doesn’t take shit from Duke. She’s exactly what and who he needs in his life, but it’s a two way street. He’s good for her, too.” He shook his head again, his eyes sad as he told me, “If I don’t think I can be good for you, I’ll walk away.”
“You have to know bringing someone from the past into my new future puts me at risk.”
He lowered his voice. “They aren’t going to place the cute little Harmony who’s dating an Atlanta RTMC member as the old, male, Ice. And for those who knew you were female? There’s still no reason for them to put it together you’re the girl dating the biker.”
When I didn’t respond, he said, “I’m serious, Buttercup. I want you in my life, but only if we’re good for each other. If I can’t make you as happy as Duke makes Gen, I’ll bow out… though, not right away. You have to give me a chance. They weren’t happy right off the bat, either. Took Gen a while to get used to Duke, and took him a while to trust she could handle all of him.”
“Do you miss him?”
“I miss the friend I had who’d never turned on me. Don’t miss the one who fucked me over.”
I sighed, and couldn’t believe I was about to defend him, but said, “Duke seemed to me to be more of a general, in charge of his troops. And, as a general, looking out for the entire club, he probably had a point, Brain. You were too close to me. It turns out you were right, and the best way to get what you wanted from me was to work with me instead of against me, but… Duke had no way of knowing for sure.”
“Yeah, he did. We have a history, and I’ve never been wrong about the best way to proceed in… that kind of situation. We worked so well because he trusted me, trusted my strategies.” He paused a second, as if figuring out how to explain. “I think politically, and you’re right about him thinking like a general. For battle plans, we went with his recommendations, but when it came to handling things politically, he deferred to me. However, in this case, he was convinced I was thinking with my dick, putting you ahead of the club.” Brain shrugged. “I found a way to take care of both you and the club. He shoulda trusted me.”
“Were you really only thirty minutes behind my escape?”
He nodded and told me how he’d spent the night and day looking for me, starting by taking a few swings at Duke before hiding out in his control room so he could figure out where they’d taken me, and who was watching me. I grinned when he got to the part about Gonzo sitting on the front porch without a vehicle when he arrived.
But still, I’d been able to tell how close he and Duke were, and my research had told me they’d pretty much run the club as a unit.
“I’m sorry I came between you and Duke.”
He shook his head. “No, Duke came between us, not you. I supported him throughout his initial problems with his Duchess, and then he chose to turn his back on me, and put you in danger.” He gave a half smile as he said, “I told’em you’d be gone before daylight. They didn’t believe me.”
I laughed and smiled in spite of my intention to be unhappy in his presence. “Would you’ve known I could get the Master lock off with my nail, though? Really?”
“I wouldn’t have trusted the cell. It was a no brainer you could squeeze through the bars. The damned thing was built to hold big, burly, motorcycle dudes, not a little wisp of a woman. Also, I’d know better than to use a combination lock. Takes me anywhere from three to thirty minutes to open one, so I wouldn’t use one on you. Not to say you couldn’t use a shim on a keyed lock, and no, I probably wouldn’t have thought of you using your nail as a shim, but I’d have put other precautions in place. Gonzo thought he had the shackles, the cell, his guarding you, and the upstairs alarm, but once he was asleep, all he had was the shackles and upstairs alarm, and you were fast enough hotwiring the car…” He grew more serious and said, “If he hadn’t pissed you off, humiliated you, would you’ve run?”
I shook my head. “No. I liked the idea of a fresh start, a permanent identity, and a way to walk away from a life of running, but nothing was worth what Gonzo made me do. I have too much self-respect to let anyone treat me like an animal. You know the Russians had me a while, and I’m guessing you know it was bad, but you have no idea what I survived. Gonzo didn’t come close, but I refused to let him treat me as less than human. When I had an opportunity to escape, I took it.”
“I’m glad you’re working the fresh start on your own. Anything I can do to help? Do you have a plastic surgeon lined up? Someone to take care of you after the surgery?”