Brain(28)
“Too much wisdom in your eyes to pull off vapid, senseless female. Don’t know what you’ve been through, what you’ve been forced to do, and don’t want to know… but Grace doesn’t fit.”
“What else did Duke tell you about me?”
He shrugged. “You hurt us enough to be our enemy, but you seem to be trying to make it right, now. You didn’t know enough about us before, thought we were trash, and that’s on you for not finding out enough about who you were fucking over, and he assures me it’ll be dealt with, but says the end game is to have you on our side, not as our enemy.”
“Do you know what my name will be?”
“Christina Grace, can’t tell you your last name, yet.”
“Right, so what other names can I get out of that? I prefer Destiny, but I’m thinking if I make a clean break, I should stop using the name. Maybe Harmony, or Hope?”
He looked at me a few seconds and said, “Christina… Tina… Trina. You could legitimately use Trina as a nickname, maybe go as Trinity, if you’re going for something religious, though I hadn’t pegged you for a bible thumper.”
I shook my head. “Not a bible thumper, just… I’ve been so close to death, more than once, and it’s changed the way I see the world. The things most of society thinks of as needs, I realize are shallow wants. I was raised to care about nails and hair, fashion and status, but none of it matters.” I spread my arms. “I’m naked, you aren’t. I’m your prisoner, and yet we’re having a normal conversation. I don’t even know your damned name, and you know more about me than anyone’s known in years. Life is fucked. I want a name that reminds me there’s more to life than society wants us to believe.”
“You can call me Gonzo, and Trinity fits. Not because of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, but because of the chick in the Matrix. Your short hair, thin build, the way you handle yourself… reminds me of her.”
“If Duke hadn’t told you not to hurt me, would you?”
He nodded. “You got my friend hurt, but I’m not president because there’s some decisions I shouldn’t make. Duke helps me stay sane, and out of jail.”
Well, alrighty then. Coming from someone the club had nicknamed Gonzo, I made a mental note not to try manipulation through irritation with this one. I nodded towards the now-dark big screen television propped against the wall. “Wake the laptop and let me see our list again. Ready to type some more?”
I brainstormed for what seemed hours, and when I finished, I straightened my legs and stretched my arms. I had no idea what time it was, and with no windows, didn’t even know if it was day or night. He’d let me have some more Coke, again with a straw while he held the bottle, and he’d given me some crackers and cheese, but I needed real food, and a toilet would be nice, too.
“Tell me we have more than crackers and cheese to eat?”
He nodded. “I was instructed to buy frozen pizzas and stuff to make sandwiches, as I’d need to feed you with no dishes or silverware. I have chicken I can cook in about five minutes, put it on bread and bring it down, or I can put a pizza in the oven and come down while it cooks, go back up to get it out. I won’t tell you the security precautions, only warn you not to try to get out while I’m gone.”
“I don’t care which. Whatever you want is fine. If you do sandwiches, I want mayo and mustard, heavy on the mayo. If there’s lettuce and tomato, that’d be great. Pizza’s fine, though, if that’s your preference.”
“I’ll do sandwiches. If you want to get as close to the drain as you can to relieve yourself while I’m gone, so you don’t have to do it while I’m here…” he shrugged and added, “I can hose the floor off when I get back, rinse you off again if needed. I’ll bring some hand sanitizer for you, too.”
I hadn’t taken a crap in days, as I hadn’t wanted to do it in front of Brain. At least then, it would’ve been in a flushable toilet, and I’d have had toilet paper.
I went to the other end of the cell as soon as he left, squatted, and did my business. It stank to high heaven, and I gagged as I went to the other end of the cell, hating Duke, Bash, Gonzo, and all of the RTMC except Brain. On second thought, if Brain hadn’t gotten attached to me, they wouldn’t have put me in this hell-hole with Gonzo as my jailor, so I added Brain to the list of people I hated.
I sat in the floor, pulled my knees to my chest, curled into as tight of a ball as I could, and tried not to cry. I let my anger seep into every cell of my body, as it was the only way to keep from feeling sorry for myself and turning into a ball of emotions, and I would not cry in front of Gonzo. I wasn’t going to lose it, either. I kept reminding myself there was no threat of torture, so I needed to just chill and deal with it until I had a chance to escape. If I lost it, I might miss my chance.