Boyfriend Bargain(35)

She nods and glides forward a little, using the scooter method.

“See? You’re getting better.”

“I’m terrible and you know it.” She leans forward and heads back to the boards. “Why don’t you show me more hockey stuff and let me rest right here a minute?”

“Giving me permission to show off more?”

She clings to the side as if it’s a lifeline. “Truthfully, I like watching you.”

“Let me show you what my dad taught me.” I’ve already told her he was a hockey player at HU but ended up not going pro because of a knee injury.

She watches as I take off. Getting in the zone, I bend low and put my shoulders forward as I skate from one end of the rink to the other, gaining momentum. My legs move effortlessly across the slickness, and the cold air in my face, the flash of the glass as I fly past…it makes me high. Being on the ice has never felt like work. It’s a religion and I was born to play. I pick up my speed, gliding faster until I’m flashing by her, taking in her parted lips.

There’s no doubt, I have everything it takes physically to be the top player in the country. My oneness with the ice, my sixth sense about players, and my shooting game are stellar.

A twinge of darkness tugs at me.

It’s my mental side that might be the end of me.

I shove that down deep and skate over to where she is, shooting up small bits of ice.

I jerk to a stop a few inches in front of her and almost impulsively, she jumps out at me, flailing a little in her skates, and throws her arms around me.

Her arms tighten around my neck, and at first I laugh, thinking maybe I scared her, but then she crawls in closer and her face is resting on my neck as she clings. We stand on the ice, holding each other, and I tighten my arms around her waist.

“Sugar?”

She inhales a deep breath, refusing to let me go, and when I attempt to separate us to look at her, she won’t let me. I stroke her hair, my gut telling me something isn’t right; the funny girl with a smart mouth that I’ve come to know would have spoken up by now.

“What’s wrong?”

Her hands tangle in my hair, and I think I hear a small sniff.

“Hey, I’m here. Just talk to me.”

Her arms tighten around me.

“Did something happen? Is this about Bennett?” Fuck, the thought of him makes my blood pressure skyrocket, but… “Should I have let him talk to you?”

She shakes her head.

I close my eyes in relief and play with her long hair, rubbing my hand up onto her scalp and massaging. “Then what? Can’t you tell me?”

Her nose buries in my shirt. “My dad is dead. I found out Friday.”

Shit. And I didn’t even call her. I wanted to, but part of me was frightened by how badly I wanted to see her again, right then. But my hockey game is shit right now and I have to focus. Plus, I’m not sure where all this emotion for her is coming from, and I’m just trying to figure us out. I have baggage, and shit, I don’t know if I’m ready to show someone the true me.

“I’m so sorry.” I’m at a loss, but I react on instinct. I pick her up in my arms and skate off the rink, removing her skates and mine without speaking. I keep giving her little looks as she wipes her face, but I mostly stare down at our laces, feeling that she needs a minute. Once those are off, I pull her back into my arms as we sit on the carpeted floor in the hallway that leads to the offices and locker rooms. I lean against the wall and place her in my lap, straddling me.

She inhales a shaking breath and bites her lip. “I guess…I didn’t even know it bothered me that much, and then you were skating…so beautiful…and your dad taught you that, and I never…” She looks up at the ceiling of the arena.

She clenches her fists and unclenches them, vulnerability on her face. “You’d think I wouldn’t care that he’s dead, but I do. I’m sad. I’m sad for everything I never had.” She blinks rapidly, trying to stop the stream of tears, and I tell her I don’t care, to let it all out, and she nods.

My thumbs wipe at her cheeks. “I’m sorry you went through that. If I had known—”

She puts a hand to my lips. “No, don’t apologize for him or for you not knowing. I haven’t even told Taylor and Poppy. I’m still figuring out what to do.”

“I’m here.” I lace our hands together and we stare at each other. It’s so quiet in the arena and I feel close to her, so close because she’s sharing this with me.

She shakes her head and looks away as if gathering her thoughts, but I read her face, taking in the downturned lips, the way her chin trembles.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

A long exhalation comes from her. “Sometimes I get so angry with my mama. I adored her, I did, but why…why did she stick with him? Why did she let him make us move?” She closes her eyes. “The worst thing is, he never ever once treated me right, like I was part of him, and she just…” A tear falls down her cheek. “By loving him, she lost me. And I hate it. I hate how I never really felt like I belonged.”

My heart wants to come out of my chest.

She shakes her head. “She loved him too much. And Bennett, what you saw today…I did love him, but…”

My hands tighten.

An angry look grows on her face. “He’s a cheater and a liar, and that’s enough for me to say goodbye. I don’t want to make the same mistakes she did. Please…” She looks at me with earnest blue eyes. “Please don’t be like Bennett.”

“I won’t.”

She nods and leans her head into my neck, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight.

Later, I kiss her softly, and she sighs into my mouth. Our lips cling, and in my head I’m telling myself she’s it, and I won’t let this tentative thing between us be over. I won’t be like Bennett.

I’ve never been a cheater, but…

But…

We’ve had a lie between us from the very beginning.

And somehow I’m going to have to tell her everything.





29





Zack





The hockey games keep coming, and somehow I’m managing to keep my shit together. I had some close calls when we faced off with a tough Yale team on the road, but in the end the ornery athlete in me that loves a challenge somehow got me through. At one point, when we were down by one goal with two minutes left and the puck was under my stick, I got dizzy and clammy and that dread rolled through me. I had to score. I had to keep the winning streak going. You deserve hockey. You deserve happiness. You deserve this, I told myself, and it kept me centered. It pulled me through, and I slung the puck into the net.

And Sugar…

Since the day she told me about her dad, we’ve grown closer and we’re spending time together. During the week, we meet up for late lunches after my therapy, and we’ve skipped the Kappa parties to hang out at her place or go donut shop hopping.

It’s a few days after our last win when we order in pizza and watch Game of Thrones at Sugar’s. She’s constantly clapping her hand over her mouth to keep from telling me everyone’s backstory.

“Khal Drogo kind of reminds me of you with his big muscles and I’m all that attitude,” she muses as she munches on a piece of pizza. “I think for Halloween, you should dress up as him.”

I grin. “As long as you’re Dany. They have some pretty hot sex scenes.”

She arches an eyebrow. “I know.”

“Just let me know when you’re ready to resume sex.”

Yeah, she’s making sure sex isn’t all we have. I know it isn’t, but if she needs to know…

“But don’t you want to know if there’s more to life than just sex?”

“No.” I set down my plate of pizza on her desk and grin. “Plus, it’s possible I might die from blue balls.”

“You’ll die from me hitting you upside the head.”

“It was worth a shot.” I kiss her on the lips, quickly, because I know if I linger, I’m going to be jerking off in her bathroom later just so I can drive home.

Someone knocks on the door, and she jumps up to get it wearing a pair of booty shorts and a camisole. Her ass is firm and full, and the way her tits press against that shirt…

Of course her radiator is spitting out heat like crazy and that’s her excuse for being skimpy, but I’m wondering…

I hear her exclaim loudly then a female voice speaks, and I hop up from her bed and walk to the door.

I grin.

It took several phone calls to multiple places today to make this happen, and along with some help from my dad, I was able to find what I needed.

The girl who works the lobby is standing at the door. “I don’t know the guys you date, but if you could hook me up with one of their friends, that would be super cool.”

Sugar takes the donut box and the stuffed penguin from the girl then turns to face me.

The girl sees me, her gaze widening. “Zack Morgan?”

“Yep.” My mask slides into place and I prepare myself for fluttering eyes or a plea for an autograph, but she holds it together, her stare going from me to a blushing Sugar.

“What?” I say.

She squirms. “It’s not visiting hours. You’re not supposed to be in her room.”