Boyfriend Bargain(13)

He heads to our small laundry room where I hear him slamming the lid on the washer and starting it. A few minutes later he emerges from the hallway and heads to the fridge to grab a Gatorade.

“Let’s hit the gym tomorrow, and I’ll help you with some stretches.” I slide over the box of Cap’n Crunch I’m working on, and he sticks his hand in, pulls out a handful, and munches.

He plops down in the seat across from me. “Forget me—how are you doing? Didn’t you have another doctor’s appointment this morning?”

I nod. “Sports psychologist. We’re increasing our sessions from twice a week to three. I’ll have to skip my poetry class to make the appointments, but Coach says he can work it out with the professor.”

“No cure yet, huh?”

A cure?

My hands clench under the table. His obliviousness drives me nuts. Reece may look like me and share a similar temperament, but there’s a barrier between us, one that’s been there since he came to Hawthorne. I give him slack because it’s hard living in my shadow. Growing up, I was always the one in the spotlight, and I have to wonder what that does to a brother who craves being the best just as much as I do.

He gives me a raised eyebrow and stuffs cereal in his mouth.

“It doesn’t work like that,” I say.

He stops chewing. “You don’t think you’ll freak out again, right? Isn’t there a pill for it?”

My jaw tightens. He knows nothing, and part of me is annoyed that this is the first conversation he’s had with me about it when Eric has asked a million questions. He and I have different friends, and we don’t spend a lot of our free time together. “I can’t take pills and keep training and playing like I do. Some of those meds have huge side effects that I can’t chance right now. My guy is using different things with me.” Deep breathing, running, visualization.

His voice lowers. “Do you think it’s this time of the year? When Willow died?”

I stare at him, unsmiling. I don’t like talking about her with him.

Because he knows how I fucked up. He was at that party.

And I know he wanted her for himself.

Exhaustion washes over me just thinking about it. “It’s never specifically happened in January before, so it’s probably a combination of things.”

He nods, toying with a piece of cereal in his fingers, deep in thought. “You and Willow…you still wanted to be with her when she died, right? You would have married her someday?”

I frown, wondering what he’s getting at, but I change the topic. “Look, the anxiety thing is real. It comes with being at the top. I was the number one pick last year, and the Predators are waiting on me.”

He exhales, nose flaring as his face grows hard.

I tap a pen on the table, reading him. Part of my success in hockey is my skill in analyzing micro-expressions and body language. Being able to read your opponent and your own teammates is key. You learn patterns of behavior to anticipate what’s coming, but with him, sometimes I don’t know what’s going on in his head.

Things are worse between us, have been on and off since our mom passed away my senior year and then Willow died. You would have thought that kind of grief would have brought us closer, but Reece is a loner, like me, and we internalize shit.

“Reece? You got something to say?” Yeah, I’m calling him on his attitude. I don’t need extra stress right now and if he’s got something to say, he needs to spit it out.

He looks away. “I get what you’re saying. I’m not at your level so I don’t have a clue. I’ll shut up.” He moves to stand, but I grab his elbow and pull him back.

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“But you were thinking it.”

“This isn’t about you, Reece. You’re not the one losing your shit. If Nashville finds out…” My voice trails off and I exhale. I love him, but fuck, he gets so caught up in how he isn’t as good as I am.

His lips compress and color blooms on his face. “Veronica said you were with a girl at the Kappa house and she looked like Willow. I saw her running down the stairs, and you were chasing after her.”

I rear back. Is this what’s got him knotted up? A girl?

“What I do is none of Veronica’s business.” I shake my head. “She’s trouble, brother. Beware.”

I picture the vivacious redhead with her hard green eyes. Veronica only cares about Veronica, and I know that because she’s been after me since Willow died. Last summer she even weaseled her way into a guys’ trip to Mexico, and when I came back to my room one night, she was in my bed stark naked, waiting for me. I sent her away and she’s been with toying with Reece ever since.

Reece frowns. “She’s just worried. Just be sure you aren’t using someone to work through your own shit. Don’t use some random girl to get over Willow.”

I tense up, thinking about Sugar today in her knit cap and cute glasses. Use her? Did I? I frown. I haven’t wrapped my head around what’s going on there yet.

“Did I hear someone mention a Kappa party?” Eric says as he stands, stretches, and breaks wind before heading into the kitchen. “Speaking of…who was the hot blonde at the party? There was some talk amongst some of the girls that she literally ran away from you. Damn, wish I’d seen it.”

Reece’s lips tighten, but I focus on Eric. Dude makes me laugh.

“Does everyone know my every move?” I say.

“Everyone wants a piece of the fame. You’re going to be loaded and playing in the NHL,” Eric says with a grin. He has his own little fandom of girls, so he gets it.

“They want this.” I indicate my upper torso, which is currently encased in a practice shirt from my workout at the gym.

Eric grins. “Ah, the fake bravado—a clear indication you got turned down. Crash and burn, huh?”

I shrug. “Meh. You win some, you lose some.” I’m not one to discuss my sexual exploits.

“Nice tits on her, though,” Eric says, and my brows knit together, irked by his comment.

Just then there’s a knock at the door.

“Pizza’s here!” Eric shouts then glances over at Reece, eyeing his underwear. “You gonna eat pepperonis in your zebra panties?”

Reece huffs and grabs his crotch. “I’ll show you a pepperoni.”

“Mine’s bigger than yours,” Eric calls out as Reece gets up and heads to his bedroom.

“You wish!” Reece shouts back before shutting his door.

“Bickering like two little old ladies,” I murmur, heading down the hallway to get the pizza.

But when I open the door, it’s not the pizza guy.

It’s her.

She’s here, standing at the bottom of the porch steps.





11





Zack





My chest feels like it’s taken a gunshot, which is weird, because I just saw her a few hours ago.

Sugar. I say her name in my head, and it’s just as sweet as she looks.

Tonight she’s wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, ankle boots with a heel, and a slightly cropped, snug pale blue fuzzy sweater that hugs the curves of her full breasts. Her face is oval-shaped, her skin perfect with a straight nose that has a sprinkling of freckles across the bridge. Her eyes are slightly upturned with dark brown brows arching over them, giving her an exotic look. A deep wine color accentuates her pillowy lips, the lower one fuller and luscious with that deep indentation right smack in the middle. Blood rushes to my cock at the mental image of her on her knees, taking me into her lush mouth, sliding around me while I—

Get it together.

I open my mouth to say something—maybe Hello or What are you doing here?—but then I shut it.

My chest squeezes as I take her in all over again.

She must not have heard me open the door, and she’s distracted, muttering to someone on the phone as she looks down at a box in her hands. I don’t even look at it too hard because she is all I want to soak in, and so I focus on her porcelain face, taking in the long black lashes resting against her cheeks. She’s not wearing her glasses, and I wait for those thick lashes to rise and those eyes to meet mine. She raises her head, and fuck, I think my knees might buckle as we stare at each other. There’s a hint of green around the blue, something I didn’t notice before because, well—

I suck in a steadying breath.

Seeing her again, taking in the similarities between her and Willow…it overwhelms me, a Pandora’s box of feelings that pull me back into the past, into memories of a girl I hurt…

How could I have ever missed noticing her on campus?

“Who is it?” calls Eric as he pops up behind me and takes a gander at her. “Oh, shit, hey, baby,” he says, a silky tone of appreciation in his voice. “You delivering pizza? Remind me to order from Rizzi’s every night. Nice, nice.”

“Uh, no,” she says after ending the phone call. “I’m here for Zack.”

I reach back and elbow him, and a smile curls her lips. I follow the movement, jealous of anyone who’s ever been on the receiving end of that.

Who has she kissed? Who was the friend she met today? Who does she fuck?

“Dude, you gonna invite her in or what?” Eric nudges me and I shake it off then clear my throat, opening the door wide so she can take the few steps inside the foyer.