Bow Down(179)

The idea of fatherhood hadn’t seriously occurred to me before. It wasn’t like gangsters didn’t have kids. They actually tended to have a lot of kids, since gangsters tended to like to fuck a lot.

I liked to fuck a lot. But I didn’t like having to take care of a kid or having some serious responsibility. I was a fucking mobster for fuck’s sake. I didn’t know how to raise a kid, let alone raise a decent fucking kid. I didn’t even know what it meant to be decent.

Would I want my kid to follow me into the mob? I had no clue. I didn’t know if I wanted this life for my child. It wasn’t an easy life, though it did have its perks. Still, it would be life and death all the time for him, and I didn’t know if I wanted that for my child.

Maybe we’d have a girl and I wouldn’t have to worry about her going into the mob. I’d have to worry about her fucking some stupid mob guy instead. Girls had their own god damn problems.

For some reason, I wasn’t freaking out. I had been assuming that she would give the kid up for adoption, but as I thought about it I realized that I didn’t know what she’d really want to do.

Since all of this had started, it had been nonstop action. We hadn’t known where we had stood, and my first thought had been to do anything to keep her safe. But now, when something had finally gone right, I had a second to stop and think about what I had done.

I was going to be a father, and I wasn’t freaking out about it. That itself almost freaked me out a little bit. The idea of being with Cassidy, really fucking being with her, didn’t repulse me like that thought had with so many other women. I could see something in her, something that made me want to change.

And I wasn’t the changing type.

She finished her meal and sat back, smiling at me. “Okay,” she said. “That was really good. I admit it.”

I laughed. “Good. Glad you liked it.”

“I could get used to this.”

“You can have whatever you want here.”

She pushed her plate out of the way and leaned forward, her elbows on the table. “Let’s talk.”

“Fine. Let’s talk.”

“Don’t go to Vince.”

“Convince me not to.”

She frowned. “I can’t. Just don’t do it.”

“This isn’t the sort of thing I should keep from him.”

“Let’s at least go to the drop spot. Let’s see what’s there before we tell him.”

“That’s a bad idea. We shouldn’t do this alone.”

“We need to do this alone. Rafa, we can’t trust anyone but each other.”

I sighed. She was wrong. I knew we could trust Vince, but the way she was looking at me was slowly changing my mind.

I didn’t want to argue.

I stood up. “Try harder,” I said.

“What else can I say? Do it for me.”

I walked over to her and tipped her chin up toward me. “Come on,” I said, “convince me.”

“I’m practically begging you,” she said softly.

“Maybe, but you’re not begging the way I want.”

“What do you want?”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. She kissed me back for a moment before I pulled back to whisper in her ear.

“You know what I want,” I said.

“Tell me you’ll wait.”

I took her hair and tipped her chin back. She gasped and I kissed her again, harder. She returned the kiss, moaning softly.

“I’ll wait,” I said.

“Good.” She reached forward and began to unbuckle my belt. “I thought you’d give in.”

I grinned at her. “You’re very convincing.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” She finished unbuckling my belt and slid my pants down my thighs. My cock was hard as hell as she reached toward it. I kissed her again while she pulled my briefs down and took the base of my cock in her hand.

She slowly stroked me as I kissed her, our tongues rolling along each other. Pleasure and desire ran through my bones, and I couldn’t help but think about the child growing in her stomach.

That only made me fucking harder. She pulled back and smiled at me as she slowly took my cock into her mouth.

“Fuck,” I groaned. “I love watching that cock between those lips. You make me so fucking hard, girl.”

She responded by stroking my shaft and sucking me harder. I groaned, taking the back of her head and pushing her down along my hard shaft. I couldn’t believe this woman was pregnant with my fucking kid, and she was sucking my cock. It was a strange feeling for me, knowing there was something greater than myself, and it only made me want her more.

She began to suck me harder, faster, her hand stroking me. She wasn’t shy about sucking my cock nice and messy, which was what I liked. I wanted a woman to take that dick down her throat and gag on it. I wanted her to spit along my shaft and jerk me off, using that spit to slide along my skin. She looked up at me, and I groaned as I pushed her down again, pressing my cock into her throat.