Bounty:Fury Riders MC(85)

He shrugs. "Maybe they don't need to know. Maybe they'll always believe  what they want to believe. What difference does it make in my life?"

Here I was thinking he wanted to be with me. Maybe he's not ready for that yet.

"What's wrong?"

My face must give away my emotions. "Nothing."

"Don't say that. What is it?"

It's time to be brave. If I can face down Tommy, I can do this, too.

"Maybe you're not ready for this yet. If you're not, I completely  understand. After everything you told me, I get why you wouldn't be in  this place. It's just … I love you." I say it all in one big breath. Now  it's out there. I can't take it back.

"I love you, too, you idiot." A huge smile breaks over his face.

"You do?"

"You can't be seriously asking me this! Christina, why would I go  through all this for you if I didn't love you? If anything, I didn't  think you loved me. I couldn't imagine why you would."

"But you did it all? Not knowing how I felt?"

"Of course I did. That wouldn't change how I felt for you. Just because I  didn't know how you felt. That's crazy." He reaches for me, taking my  hands in his. "I love you. I want to be with you. If you'll have me."

"Now who's being an idiot?" I can't say anything else. I have to kiss him. The heart monitor goes crazy again.





Chapter 37

It's been a week since Jax entered the hospital. An entire week since he  saved me once again. He's healing beautifully, as well as anyone could  expect. Now he's climbing the walls, aching to be out of here.

"Why did they have to keep me for so long, anyway?" He's only asked me this question roughly two dozen times today.

"Because," I repeat, as I have so many times, "they had to be sure you  weren't infected. Infection's a pretty big deal, you know."

"Sure, sure. I didn't have a fever. The bullet hardly grazed me. It was superficial."

"Hardly superficial. There was muscle damage. You got very lucky." My  mom smiles at him. He calms down. Mom has been here for four days,  taking care of both of us. It seems like she has the magic touch. One  word from her and he's a different person.

"You're right," he admits. "I just can't wait to get out of this bed."

"You'll have to take it easy for a while," Mom reminds him. "No lifting heavy things. You could hurt yourself even worse."

Jax nods. I feel like I'm witnessing a miracle.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back with us?" I say, making her  laugh. "I'm serious. You're the only person he listens to."         

     



 

"He's a lot of bluster. Inside he's just a little boy. All men are-no  matter how big they are on the outside." We snicker together quietly.

"I hear you over there. I'm not deaf."

I laugh, crossing the room to kiss him. He's half smiling, so I know he's not that upset.

Mom and I have done a lot of catching up over the past several days. I  owed her an explanation. I'd been kidnapped, after all, when she didn't  even know Tommy was stalking me. Then I was rescued by a man of whose  existence she was unaware.

She only came to make sure we were taken care of. The two of us have  been sharing a room at a hotel near the hospital. I've spent nearly  every minute of visiting hours right here, at Jax's side.

Adam came two days into Jax's stay to pick up his bike. Jax probably  wouldn't be able to ride it home, so Adam had a friend drive him to meet  us. I noticed how much better he already looked since I first saw him  only a few days prior.

He gave me a big hug on entering the room. "I'm so glad you're okay," he  said. The sincerity in his voice touched me. I left the two of them  alone for a while so they could catch up. When I got back they were  laughing. My heart soared. Jax had told me of their conversation, how  he'd confessed everything. How Adam gave him his bike. I owed him a lot,  too. More than anything, I was happy to see Jax laughing. He'd missed  Adam's friendship after Marissa's death. I hoped this meant they could  rebuild their bond. Jax needed people, as much as he pretended he  didn't.

We promised to get together after Jax was released. He looked hopeful after Adam left.

Mom heads down to the nurse's station to see if there's any chance of  getting his discharge papers some time before next week. I'd think with  such an obstinate, frustrating patient they'd be happy to get him out of  their hair. It feels like they're dragging their feet.

"You know," Jax says, now that we're alone, "for such a long time, I  thought I was protecting Adam and his family by not telling the truth  about how Marissa died. I thought I was being … I don't know … noble or  something. Sparing them the pain, protecting her name. Now … I'm thinking  about how Adam looked when he came to visit. Didn't he look better  already?"

I nod. "He looked great. Sober, for starters."

"Yeah. I wonder if a lot of pain he was going through had to do with  never being really sure. Not wanting to believe I could do it,  especially since we were so close and I was Marissa's husband. Maybe  keeping secrets only hurts people."

"It's like you're reading my mind," I tell him, sitting beside his bed.  "I've been wondering the same thing. If I'd been honest about Tommy,  everything I was going through with him, I wouldn't have needed to  suffer the way I did. I could have been honest with my parents, for  starters. I never did tell them the reason I left him. Thinking, I don't  know, I was sparing them something. All I was doing was driving myself  crazy, and letting him get even more crazy the longer I stayed away. I  should have told the police. I should have told somebody. But I was  ashamed. And for what? Because he's a nut? That's not my fault."

Jax takes my hand. "I think it's easy to say that now," he says,  stroking my knuckles with his thumb. "When you're in the middle of  something like that, you don't want anybody to know. I didn't want  anybody to know Marissa was shooting up again. I'm sure the coroner  figured that out, but had I said something at the time I could have  helped avoid a lot of pain."

"We never know, do we?"

He shakes his head. "There's one thing I do know, though. No secrets  between us. Ever. Don't ever think you need to spare me something. Just  say it. I've lived with secrets for too long."



I have to smile. I love when he talks about our future together.

"Deal."



***



Amy raises her coffee cup in a toast.

"To the two of you. Especially you," she says to me and Jax, then throws  her arms around him. "You saved her. I don't know what I'd do without  her."

"Oh, Amy." I chuckle, tears in my eyes.

"I mean it. God, when I think … we were just laughing together … "

I nod, a shiver running up my spine. Isn't that what I thought about  while I was in the trunk? How she would feel, knowing we were just  together outside the shop before Tommy took me?

She insisted we have a little party at the shop to celebrate my  homecoming. Adam's here, drinking from a coffee cup instead of a flask.  He's agreed to go to AA. Jax told me he's finally able to put it all  behind him, now that he has a sense of closure. He knows why Marissa did  what she did. He can process it now. It's time to move on. He's a young  man, not much older than Jax, with plenty of life left.

I'm glad to see Jax looking so happy, here in my world. When we were in  Texas, he decided he didn't give a damn about riding into town. He  wasn't going to separate himself from the world anymore. If people had a  problem with it, let them. It was their problem. I told him I stood  fully behind him.         

     



 

The best part is, the first day he came in for coffee and a muffin  during the morning rush, he was mobbed by people shaking his hand and  congratulating him for being so brave and saving me from my stalker.

It took me by surprise just as much as it did him. He kept shooting me  looks, to which I kept shrugging. I had no idea where they got their  information from … until I looked over at Amy, who had a mile-wide grin on  her face.

"You told them?"

"I had to. They need to get down off their high horses and find out what  a good guy he is. He deserves a little respect, wouldn't you say?"

I agreed wholeheartedly, and I still do. I know it's not going to happen  overnight, but I get the feeling Jax is going to start putting his own  past behind him. Maybe he and Adam can work together on that. I know  from conversations with him that the club isn't where he wants to be,  and he hasn't been part of it for quite some time. Jax had no way of  knowing that, though, since they never spoke.

I baked a little cake for our party, and I'm doling out pieces to our  little group. There is only a handful of us, but for right now, this is  all I need. I have my business. I have Jax. I have friends. My life is  pretty perfect.



***



"Should we flip a coin?"