Bounty:Fury Riders MC(62)

"You're a pretty dirty guy. You need all the help you can get." He rolls  onto his side, grabbing me. I scream with laughter, trying to wrestle  free of him. He's too strong.

Soon, we're kissing again, but this time, it doesn't go anywhere. Kissing is enough.





Chapter 16

We both shower again, needing to get cleaned up after all that playing  around. "We have to conserve water," Jax tells me before getting in with  me. I don't bother putting up a fight. I don't want to. I laugh  instead, pulling him close to me and offering to soap him up. By the  time we're finished, the water is nearly ice cold.         

     



 

This is bliss. Could every day be this way? I'm not naïve. I know it  wouldn't be this way forever. All relationships calm down eventually.  We're in the new phase. If Jax and I got together, we wouldn't be  hopping in and out of bed every day.

Though I wouldn't complain if we did. From the grin he can't seem to keep off his face, I don't think he'd mind, either.

By noon, I feel the noose tightening around my neck. I know I should go.  I don't want to push too far or put him in a position where he feels  it's time to ask me to leave. That would be humiliating.

There's just one problem: I don't want to leave. To his credit, Jax  seems pretty laidback about me being here. This is a change from the man  I first met two days ago. Back then, he was brusque, almost angry at  times. Now he's relaxed, joking with me. Maybe he needed to get laid as  badly as I did.

Nah. I can't look at him and consider such a possibility. I'm sure  panties hit the floor the minute he walks into a bar. To think, I'm the  one who just had sex with him. I've never felt proud of myself for  something like this before. I never had a reason to.

"What do you wanna do now? I know you can't want more sex. I think you're set for months."

I scowl at him. "Full of yourself much?"

"Am I wrong?"

I consider it. "Weeks, maybe. Not months."

"I'll take it." He grins so sexily. When he's dark, brooding, he's hot.  Something in me responds every time. But this version? The smiling,  lighthearted Jax? It's another thing entirely. My heart opens to him  against my better judgement.

"Whatever, like you could go again right now."

"Baby, you don't even know what I could do right now. I can go all night."

"Oh?" I can't help feeling intrigued. "I wish I'd have known that last night."

"Your loss. So sex is out, for now. Anything else?"

I look around. There's not much to do. I'm desperate to think of something to do. I don't want to leave.

Jax answers his own question. "Board games?"

I can't help laughing. "You have board games here? For real?"

He frowns. "Why wouldn't I? Who do you think I am?"

"Not the type of guy who sits around playing board games in front of the fireplace."

"I'm a pretty deep guy." He gets up from where we've been sitting on the  floor, playing with the dog. "What do you wanna play? I have a bunch."

Whatever takes the longest. "Monopoly?"

"Sure."

I can't help grinning in triumph. I hate Monopoly, usually, because it  takes so damn long to play. Now? That extra time is like a gift from  heaven.



***



"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" he asks me. We're both on our stomachs on opposite sides of the board.

"No, I'm an only child."

"Ahh. I guess your parents were really looking forward to having you come home, then."

"They were. I was looking forward to seeing them, too. I'll have to plan another time soon."

"You're still close with them?"

"Very. Almost too close with my mom." I'll never be able to tell her  about this weekend, though. Jax knows I gave her a story about the roads  leading from the motel being in no condition for driving. It wasn't a  complete lie; the roads really were crap. I just wasn't at a motel.

"How about you?" I ask quietly. I know better than to expect him to be forthcoming.

"They're all older. Much older. Half-siblings, a different father. They were all grown by the time I was born."

"Oh, really? Like a second marriage, second family situation?"

He chuckles, moving his piece along the board. "Yeah. Something like  that." Got it. I went too far. "I didn't have a lot of friends. I was  alone a lot of the time. I did a lot of reading, which was considered  just as lame as cooking and tending lawns. Good thing my old man was  hardly ever around or else he probably would have burned my books."

I don't know what to say. I feel awful for him, and more grateful than  ever for my own parents. The picture he's painting for me … I know better  than ever how he wound up the way he is: alone.

"I needed something when I was growing up. By the time I was old enough,  I got into some trouble. I didn't make good choices. I regret them." He  looks at me, hard. "I regret them with all my heart. I need you to  believe that."

"I do," I whisper. I don't know what mistakes he's talking about, but I  know what it means to have regret. The look on his face is  heartbreaking.

"We all make stupid mistakes when we're young. Especially when we're  running away from something. Know what I mean? I was running away from  being alone, feeling like an outsider in town. An outsider in my own  family. All my brothers and sisters were from the ‘good' dad, the one my  mom loved. He died in a work accident. My dad, though, was a bum, an  asshole. She took it out on me, even if she didn't know she was doing  it. I needed to belong somewhere."         

     



 

"That makes sense. We all need to feel like we belong." I'm trying to  piece together the clues he's giving me. I'm only more confused than  ever. What's he trying to tell me?

I keep going, wanting to make him feel better. "I was running away from something when I got together with Tommy."

"Running away from what? Another guy?"

"No." I laugh. "Just the opposite. There were no other guys before him."

He's silent, looking at me like he's waiting for me to laugh. When I don't, he says, "Seriously? Only him?"

"Well, now it's only him and you. Oh God, I hope that doesn't freak you out. I don't know why I said it."

"No, no. It's sort of an honor, in a way. That probably sounds stupid."

I smile. "It doesn't." He smiles back. "So yeah, I was running away from  being alone. I always felt different from the other girls. I used to be  heavier, and I had no self-esteem. I thought losing weight would make  me feel better about myself. All it did was make me look different. I  still hated the person I was inside, so there were still no guys around.  I didn't exactly try to attract them, you know? Then, along came  Tommy."

"Shithead."

"Yes. He liked me. He paid attention to me. It was totally new, and at  first, really, he seemed like a nice guy." It's my turn to look at Jax  the way he just looked at me: hard, like I need him to believe what I'm  telling him. "He was. He treated me well. Just long enough for me to  fall in love with him. Otherwise, I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten  together with him. I mean, what sort of person does that? Gets involved  right off the bat with somebody who hurts them?"

"It happens. It does. But you're smarter than that, I think."

"Thank you. So yeah, I say all this to tell you I believe you. I  understand what you're saying. We all make poor decisions when we're  running away. Both of us were running away from being alone. We just  took different ways out of it."

He reaches across the board, taking my hand. "Thank you for that." Then  his arm sweeps across the board, knocking over all my hotels. "Oh, damn.  I messed up the game. Shit."

I burst out laughing. "Jackass! I was this close to winning! Sore loser."

"I'm not a sore loser if I didn't actually lose. I could have won. I could have turned it around."

"Right." I roll my eyes, unable to keep from laughing again. My eyes  happen to land on the window. I'm shocked to see how dark it's already  getting.

"Shit! I can't believe how late it got. Time flies when you're getting your ass beat, doesn't it?"

"Careful, or I'll take you upstairs and beat your ass for real."

I blush, wishing he'd throw me over his shoulder and take me upstairs  right now. That energy is back, the electricity between us. It shows up  so quickly, out of nowhere. One minute we're joking, the next I want him  to fuck me until I scream.

We shouldn't. Not again. I'll stay here for the rest of my life if one of us doesn't break the cycle.

"I guess I should get going." My heart is heavy. I hate myself for  feeling this way. Why can't I walk away with no strings attached? I  don't know that he shares my feelings, that this meant anything to him.  Could be he's just being nice. I'm sure it doesn't hurt we've been  sleeping together.

"Oh." Is he disappointed? Relieved? Does it matter? I don't want it to matter.