"You sick fuck. Get outta here. I don't wanna see you."
He stood. "You know I don't really mean that. I like Erica, and I like her for you. I'm just trying to help you see this from all sides is all. Before you met her, you took on the responsibility of leading the club. We were your priority first. You're talking about handing us over, just to save her. Fuck us, right?"
I sighed heavily, some of my anger melting. "You know I don't see it that way. This is ripping me up inside."
He nodded slowly. "I get it. I don't know what I would do if I were you. I mean it. You're my president. Whatever you decide, I'm with you."
I turned away and heard the door open and close. When he was gone, I let myself collapse back into the chair.
It was an impossible decision. Give myself up, which meant giving my club up, or leave Erica there to die.
She would think I deserted her. I imagined her sitting there in that shithole, wondering why I wasn't coming for her. Thinking she didn't mean anything to me. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but there wouldn't be any way for me to tell her that. If anything, York would tell her I didn't care. He'd fuck with her head before he killed her. And he might do it slowly, after the pigs and degenerates he called a club did whatever they wanted to her.
My blood boiled. I pounded on the top of the desk with my fist, wishing it was York's face.
The laptop was the only thing on the desk I hadn't swept off with my arm, and I opened it in the hopes the memory card was still inside. It was, and the picture up on the screen was probably the last thing Erica saw before Onyx took her. There he was. He was still in the shadows, but he was there.
When had it happened? When did he decide to turn on me? How didn't I see it? Lance was one thing, but Onyx? He was the closest friend I had in the world. How did I not see what was right in front of me?
Maybe York was right and I didn't deserve to be president of the club. I was fucking blind to the obvious. I wanted Onyx to be my loyal second-in-command, and that's who I told myself he was. So what if he was actually going behind my back and destroying the club? I didn't wanna see it.
I still didn't, even as I sat looking at the picture. I wanted to believe it was a mistake. There he was, though. Standing still, watching Harrison murder Lance. Someone who was supposed to be his brother. He let it happen and didn't flinch.
I told myself to harden my heart against him. There was a good chance I would be seeing him at the clubhouse. York would make sure of it. He wanted to be sure I knew he won, right down to stealing my best friend's loyalty.
I wondered for a minute if he would compromise. If I offered him the drug trade, he might take it and leave the rest alone. That was what he wanted. The prestige, the money. He was welcome to have it. I wouldn't hand over my club, though. Axel was right. I had to think about them, too.
I walked out of the office. The lounge was empty, the door to the game room closed. I nodded grimly. They were having a meeting without me. It made sense. They would have plenty without me before long.
I went to the bar and poured myself a whiskey. I was proud of everything I did with the club, including the steps I took to get us out of drugs. I hoped York didn't put them right back into it, but it was obvious that he would. Drugs and the money from them-that was what he wanted.
That and the knowledge that he'd beaten me. That meant a lot to him, too. He was so pathetic, it made me sick.
How many times had I sat there with Onyx next to me? Even way back before I was president. When I first got hooked up with the club. We used to sit and watch the older guys and wish we could be as cool as they were.
I didn't have anybody else in my life then. I had just lost my family, and I was looking for something. I never had time for friends at that age either-taking care of the kids, going to school, it ate up all of my time. After I had dropped out I was really lost. I couldn't relate to people my age.
Then, I met Onyx. He was a prospect with the club in those days, but he had been around long enough to show me the ropes. I trusted him from day one-he tried to be tough and hard, but I saw through him. He only acted that way because of the scars. He thought people would reject him, so if he rejected them first, he wouldn't have to get hurt. I never told him that I knew, though.
I couldn't think of the club without thinking of him. The two were so closely wrapped up in each other for me. What made him do it? Was there ever a time I said something or did something he didn't agree with? Yeah-that happened a lot. He was never afraid to tell me what he thought about my decisions, though. I didn't think we had any secrets. In fact, when I was first named president, I asked him always to be brutally honest with me. I needed somebody to keep me grounded. He swore he would be that person.
When did he stop? I couldn't remember things changing. He had to be the best actor in the world, keeping me fooled the way he did.
Then again, Lance had, too. I had thought he was loyal. Maybe I was the problem. Could I ever trust any of my men again? I reminded myself it didn't matter. I wouldn't have to worry about it for long once York had his way.
The door opened like they had heard me thinking about them. They filed out one by one, two dozen of them. None of them would meet my eyes. The girls followed them out, and they looked at the floor, too.
I was leaving them. It broke me up inside, thinking of handing them over to anybody else-especially York, who was barely a step up from human garbage. What would happen to them?
Before any of them could speak, I took a deep breath. "I know Axel told you what's happening. I know you think I'm crazy for thinking about this. I don't see that I have a choice. I can't leave her there. And he'll kill her if I don't go, believe it. York doesn't make empty promises."
"We know," Axel said, quietly.
"I don't know what this means for all of you. I'm sorry. This is the choice I have to make. Even if I stay here, he's never gonna stop coming after us. How many more people have to die before he gets what he wants? I'm trying to think of you guys, too. But, in the end, I have to try to save Erica. I'm sorry. It's what needs to happen."
"So that's it, then? None of us gets a say? York moves into your spot and we go on like nothin' happened?" Frankie looked livid, his face dark.
"That's what he wants. He's got me cornered. I don't know what else to do." I stood, showing them the gun I had in my waistband. "I'm gonna do my best." I would have to find some way to take him out. It was the only way I could think to protect Erica and the club at the same time.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Erica
I had no idea how long I'd been there, tied to the chair in that stinking room. There was no way of telling time, and no windows without boards on them.
I was exhausted, weak. I knew the intensity of my emotions wasn't helping. I wondered how much longer it would take for somebody to come. I wasn't sure anymore whether I wanted Vince to come, or if I wanted him to stay away. There was no winning.
My shoulders burned and my wrists ached from the ropes. The rope around my ankles was so tight my feet were asleep. I must have been there for hours at that point. I'd started counting the seconds at one point, but the more seconds I counted, the more upset I got. It was easier in a way to let the time pass unmarked.
There was a series of loud shouts from outside the door. I flinched. They were getting louder all the time. Probably the drunker they got.
They could come in here whenever they wanted. The thought chilled my blood. Any of them, whenever the mood struck. It sounded like an entire football team was out there making noise, cheering, listening to music. I heard bottles smashing now and then. Were they killing each other? I hoped they were.
The drunker they became, the larger my fear grew. Alexander might have been able to control them while they were sober, but when they were drunk? I knew it was only a matter of time before they got ideas in their heads. I didn't hear any female voices out there. Pretty soon it wouldn't be enough to throw each other around and break bottles. Their attention would turn to me. Tied to a chair. I remembered Alexander's warning about what they did to girls with big mouths. A sob escaped my throat, muffled by the gag.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Thinking like that would only make me panic again. I couldn't do that. I didn't even want to cry since I couldn't wipe my eyes or my nose. The gag was soaked with tears already. Nobody had been in to check on me in a long time. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I didn't want to see any of them or give them the chance to be alone with me. I could have used more water, though, or a tissue.
Then again, having one of them wipe my tears? Not tops on my list. Again, there was no way out that didn't involve one of the Wolves getting way too close to me.