I was feeling weirdly like I was about to hyperventilate.
“I didn’t buy it,” Krystal added. “Hippie rock ‘n’ roll chick did not say Deke.”
“I’m boho,” I corrected.
“Boho is hippie, just less goofy,” Krys returned.
She had me there.
But I had no interest in debating it anyway.
I was stuck on something else.
“Tate saw Deke watching me?” I asked.
“Says he did and Tate don’t miss much, obviously, you two boning and talkin’ over Steph’s chicken, whatever that is,” Krys answered.
Whoa. Whoa. And whoa.
Deke had been watching me?
“Are you nervous?” Lauren asked, taking me away from that happy thought.
“A little,” I told her honestly.
“About what?” Krystal asked.
“Well, I like orgasms and Deke handing me the key to his trailer without blinking. And bottom line, I like Deke. He’s…Deke,” I said, not knowing how to explain it better.
I got nods like they both understood me (which, since they’d known him longer than me, I figured they did).
I still tried to give them more.
“I’ve been around. It’s not like I’ve met every human being on the planet but there’s no one like him. He’s all…mountain man. And then he can be sweet. And he looks out for his friends. And he’s funny. And he thinks I’m funny. And there’s no denying he stepped up when shit got seriously crazy for me.” I shook my head. “I don’t want anything to fuck with that. Things have been a little bit rocky in my life lately. It’s nice to just be…happy.” I felt a tentative, hopeful smile curl at my lips when I finished, “Like, really freaking happy.”
“Right, he’s my friend and normally I would not lay him out there like this but, just in case you missed it, known him a long time and already said haven’t known a single woman who’s seen the inside of that trailer of his twice,” Krystal shared. “And just sayin’, he treats that land like its sacred so he usually doesn’t take his hookups there at all. Not sure who makes that cut. Just know he’s not ever once handed his key over to one of them to plug in a Crock-Pot.”
Okay, now I was getting really, really freaking happy.
“Don’t know his story,” Lauren said. “Tate does but he hasn’t shared and if it was open for Deke, which means Tate could share it, Tate would have given it to me. But him not sharing, well, don’t want to wipe that look off your face, babe, but just be prepared.”
Even with her words, I felt that look wiped off my face.
She leaned toward me in my armchair that was tilted toward hers, across from the couch Krystal was lounging on, reached out and touched my knee.
She drew back and kept speaking.
“We all have baggage. This does not negate all Krys said. I’ve known Deke a long time and he was so immune to connecting in any real way to a woman, it was troubling. Everyone knows he’s a good man and for someone like that, you want him to find a good woman…” she gave me a sweet smile, sharing gratifyingly how she felt about me, “and get some of that happy. So just, you know, don’t be nervous. But do be prepared. Because if Deke’s gonna share, it’s a gift, Jus. And he doesn’t give that to everybody.”
I looked to Krys and she shook her head.
“I don’t know either, sister. And Bubba also doesn’t. I’m not like Laurie. Somethin’ that juicy about one of my people, I’d drag that out of him,” she lifted her fingers and snapped, but not loudly in deference to Breanne, “like a shot.”
“I can do baggage,” and I damn well could, and would, “I just…”
I trailed off, not knowing what to say or maybe not wanting to put into words what was making me nervous.
“You’re just fallin’ in love with him,” Krystal told me and I focused on her. “And in the beginning, that feels awesome and you don’t want anything messin’ with that.”
Yep.
That was what I didn’t want to put into words that was making me nervous.
I was falling in love with Deke.
“That’s just what I’m feeling,” I admitted.
“No sense in getting wound up about what you don’t know, Jus,” Laurie said and I looked to her. “Just go to the grocery store, get dinner cooking and get back to your guy with sandwiches.”
“I will, after you give me Breanne for five minutes,” I replied and grinned at Laurie. “You’re hogging her.”
We managed the handover without waking the baby girl and I’d just settled back, staring into her scrunchy face, watching her little red lips be all pouty when Krystal made her announcement.