Bound to Please(36)
“Girls were everywhere. I could have sex ten times a day if I wanted to.”
“Hmm.”
“Do whatever I wanted to them.”
“Right.”
“They wouldn’t say no to anything.”
“I get it.” She pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders.
“But straight sex wasn’t doing it for me, and more and more I realized it was the power exchange I craved.” His strong shoulders jerked a shrug. “I get off on it, of knowing I can bring someone total pleasure.”
“You really are confident in your abilities.”
“Haven’t had any complaints yet.” And he gave her that crooked, cocky smile.
They’d come to the end of the man-made path and now stood facing the ocean. In the distance, moonlight reflected an infinite pattern on the water and the waves roared against the cliffs, sounding as if the sea could rear up and suck them away.
After a moment, she said, “I love it when I plan a huge event and everything comes together. I look out in a crowd and see things running smoothly, and I know it’s because I left no detail ignored. It’s a rush. And when I… submit… I feel a similar kind of power, which is so strange to me. I don’t understand it, any of it.”
She saw him pull something shiny and metallic from his jeans pocket. It was a knife, and she watched as he quickly sliced through several vines of jasmine. He stood, holding the long strands in his hands.
“Why do you have to?”
“Understand my feelings? Because I want to know! I want to know what’s wrong with me that I like pain, that I like to be controlled.” She clutched her wrap in her fists. “It goes against everything I believe about myself.”
“Like?”
“Like, I don’t like to give up control, for one thing.”
“I know.”
“See? It’s so confusing.”
“Were you this confused with your ex? The bondage expert?”
Was it her imagination, or did he say those last two words with a slightly bitter edge?
“Not at the beginning,” she said. “But then yes. As things progressed, as I found myself more and more willing to do whatever he wanted. Then I started wanting him to do even more. And then…”
“What happened?”
“One day I found some other girl’s bra in the laundry.”
“What a dickhead.”
“Doesn’t matter. His first love will always be his art. Just like yours will always be your music. Women will always be secondary to guys like you, and, frankly, I look at the whole thing with Ash as one big close call.”
“Guys like me, huh?” He faced her. “So, you think there’s not room for both? Women and music?”
“Do you?”
“No.” He stepped closer. “But this is about you. I see your problem now.”
“What?”
He took her chin in his fingers. They smelled like jasmine and melted butter.
“You’re scared of letting go, afraid of getting your heart broken.” He leaned closer, his lips a breath away from hers. “That’s why you resist your deepest desires. It’s the ultimate vulnerability, right?” His gaze dropped to the pendant at her throat. “But you love to be ruled, don’t you? You’d get on your knees for me right now if I wanted you to.”
“Probably,” she said against his lips. “Even though I know I shouldn’t.”
He licked her bottom lip, his tongue sweeping slowly, lovingly, over her skin. Now she smelled the jasmine and tasted the butter on Mark’s lips. A shudder went through her.
“And yet here you are,” he said finally, his breath warm against her mouth, still damp from his kiss. “Trembling for me.”
“I’m obviously out of my head.”
“Not yet. But give me a few minutes.”
“You are such a cocky bastard.” But she was smiling, and then she was kissing him, holding him to her. All this talk should have calmed her down, but admitting her most intimate thoughts to him only made her feelings for him stronger, made her body’s response to him more erotic.
She was so, so fucked.
But she’d already gone this far, and she knew there was no turning back, at least not tonight. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she’d try to get back to normal. Now, she just wanted to feel his solid flesh against hers, wanted to taste his skin. Everywhere.
Smiling, she pulled away. Then she dropped to her bottom and flung her legs over the side of the cliff. He looked startled, as if he thought she was about to jump over the edge.
She looked up at him. “Don’t worry, you haven’t made me suicidal quite yet. This may look like a dangerous ravine, but it is, in fact, a way down to the beach.”