She didn’t do any of those things however. Instead she sat up slowly, blinking away sleep and rubbing her eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding mine. She searched the room for something. “What time is it?”
I had no fucking clue. I wasn’t even sure what day it was. “You are asking me?”
She laughed once, then her expression tightened. “You scared me.”
“I did? I suppose I’m a scary guy.”
Gianna didn’t smile. She was looking at me with an expression I’d never seen on her face, vulnerable and open. “I should have never agreed to Luca’s offer. I was being stubborn. I didn’t want to admit my feelings to myself. But when Aria called to tell me you’d broken down again, I was terrified that I’d lose you.” She paused, her fingers on my hand tightening. I didn’t say anything, wasn’t sure what to say. My general solution in emotional situations was humor but it felt wrong to make a joke and I didn’t want to stop Gianna from saying whatever else she had to say.
She stared off toward the window, guilt marring her beautiful face. “All I could think about when I wasn’t at your side after you’d broken down was ‘what if you die and all I’ve ever done was treat you badly and push you away’. I’ve been acting like a major bitch. I’m sorry.”
I touched her cheek and moved closer. “You don’t need to apologize for anything, Gianna. I actually enjoyed most of our arguments. They added entertainment to my days.” I grinned and this time I got a smile in return.
“You should be pissed, Matteo. You know what Luca offered me in exchange for saving your life and that I agreed. Why aren’t you sending me away? I would deserve it.”
I shrugged. I didn’t like the idea that Gianna had eagerly accepted Luca’s offer, but she was here now. It had taken a while but eventually I’d realized that Gianna had to come to me on her own. Gianna would never let anyone force her to admit her feelings. I touched the back of her head and pulled her toward me. She didn’t resist and when her mouth touched mine, she wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened our kiss. My hand found its way under her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her stomach and moving higher.
Gianna stopped my hand’s exploration. “You need to rest. You passed out yesterday. I won’t let you overexert yourself again.”
I chuckled. “Come on. If you ride me, I won’t have to exert myself at all. You’ll do all the work.”
“Yeah, right,” she said. “No way am I going to risk your recovery. Luca would be so pissed if I did something stupid. He hates me anyway. I don’t want to give him another reason to keep me away from you.”
“Luca wouldn’t stop you from seeing me.”
She raised her eyebrows. “He tried to stop me from coming here yesterday.”
“Why the fuck did he do that?” Annoyance shot through me. Luca always had to play the Capo and order people around.
“I suppose he was worried about you,” Gianna admitted grudgingly. There was no love lost between my brother and her, so I was surprised by her admittance. “He didn’t want me to play with you. He thought it was better if there was a clean cut between us and I left your life for good.”
“So what made him change his mind?” I asked.
“Aria, I suppose.”
“Of course,” I said, though I’d hoped for another reason. I leaned back against the headboard, ignoring the slight twinge in my head at the movement. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look fucking relaxed when I was anything but. “I’m fine now. I won’t die. You could leave now without feeling guilty.”
Gianna looked at me for a long time without saying anything. “I don’t want to leave.”
“You agreed to Luca’s offer, you said it yourself.”
“I did, because Luca took me by surprise with it. You were dying right in front of me. We’d barely survived a crash and the crazy Russians, and suddenly I was offered something I’d thought I wanted. I didn’t even really think before I said yes.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything. I was tired of making the first move, of always pursuing Gianna. This time I wanted to hear something from her.
She sighed, her blue eyes tired. “You think I would have let you die if Luca hadn’t offered me a ticket to freedom, don’t you? That’s what everyone thinks, probably even Aria.”
I kept my expression neutral. “Isn’t it the truth?”
She glared. “No, it’s not the truth. When Luca mentioned his stupid offer, I had already started chest compressions. I didn’t know what I was doing and probably made every mistake possible, but I wasn’t just letting you die. I was doing everything I could even before Luca offered me freedom for your life. I would have never let you die, never. I know you don’t have to believe me. There’s no reason why you should. I could be lying for all you know.”