"You are trouble," he murmured, "although I do like that you look as if you'd rather take a bite out of me than the food."
"You caught me."
Ronin lightly kissed her lips and returned to his meal.
The silence lingering between them wasn't awkward. If Ronin had something to say, he'd say it; she appreciated that he wasn't the type of guy who yammered on because he had a wealth of knowledge to share. Besides, she preferred a quiet dinner to the dinners she'd suffered through growing up, where her parents grilled her about everything and would lecture her endlessly on mistakes that would put a mark against the entire family.
"You're picking at the salad. My feelings won't be hurt if you don't like it."
"No, it's not that. This is delicious. I was just thinking it's refreshing we don't have to talk all the time. It's like people are afraid of silence."
"And you're not?" he asked.
Amery shrugged and swigged her wine. "I work alone seventy percent of the time. I don't have music playing in the background. I don't call people and spend hours on the phone. To be honest, I think being content with silence is out of the norm. Chaz can't work without his iPod blaring in his ears. Every thirty minutes he has to wander around and see what everyone else is doing. Even Molly wears earbuds most of the time she's in the office."
"What about Emmylou?"
"She has soothing music playing, and she only holds a minimal amount of conversation with her clients during her sessions. But as soon as she's done, she's talking a mile a minute on her cell or surfing online." Amery shrugged. "Or maybe there's something wrong with me."
"Then it's wrong with me also. I'd prefer a quiet dojo with students working on mastering techniques without distractions. But my supervisory belts disagree with me. They claim music inspires the students to work harder. And since I trust their judgment, I've left it their choice on how to run their classes. But if I'm teaching? No music."
"Did your stance on that come from your monastery years?"
"I learned many skills there, including finding the balance between what I need and what the world requires from me."
Amery sighed. When he said Zen stuff like that, she wanted to curl into him and absorb his strength and wisdom, while surrounding herself with his enticing scent.
She managed to eat half of her meal and felt guilty when Ronin asked, "Are you finished?"
"Yes. Thank you. It was delicious." She excused herself to freshen up in the bathroom. After rinsing her mouth and popping a mint, she ran her fingers through her hair and double-checked her makeup. Then she turned away from the mirror-it was a rare day when she was happy with the reflection.
Ronin was staring out the windows in the space separating the living area from the kitchen. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to his mood changes. He could switch from hot to cold literally in the blink of an eye.
Maybe he's decided this isn't worth pursuing after all.
She approached him cautiously. "Ronin?"
He didn't turn around.
"Is everything all right?"
"Not really."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm a liar."
She froze. "About what?"
"I told you I didn't invite you here for dinner because I intended to take you to bed. But that's a total fucking lie. I want you in my bed in the worst way, Amery. All I can think about is stripping you bare and feasting on every part of you before I bend you over the back of the couch and fuck you. Then I'd fuck you on the chair or on the rug before dragging you to my bed and starting all over again."
That was his I'm a liar confession? Amery nestled her cheek against the heat and hardness between his shoulder blades. She couldn't help it; she smiled against his back.
"You find that amusing?" he said a bit testily.
"Somewhat." She snaked her arms around his waist. "Because when I saw you standing in front of this window, I half expected to see your keys in your hand. Like you'd changed your mind and couldn't wait to get rid of me."
"Why would you think that?"
"Maybe I'm not what you expected? We're different when it's just you and me, rather than in the dojo, or talking business, or when we're having lunch in a crowded restaurant or a drink in a crowded bar."
He spun around and cradled her head in his hands, keeping their bodies close. "No, baby, it's better when we're alone like this. I'm the one who feels like . . ." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't want to go fast, and yet everything inside me races when I see you."
The man had all the right words. "So take the pressure off yourself and off me. I didn't come here tonight expecting to get laid." Amery turned her head, letting her mouth whisper across his jaw. "In fact, I wore crappy, mismatched lingerie so I'd be too embarrassed to take my clothes off in front of you."