Bound (Mastered #1)(122)

"So the woman at the club who ended up with Knox . . . ?"

"The club auctioned off a rope session with me for charity. The woman's husband gave it to her as a birthday gift. They requested Knox as the demonstration closer."

"I didn't stay for that part."

"Good. You should know that Naomi is also the reason I built the practice room. I thought if we had a designated place she wouldn't need to go to the club. It didn't change anything. And that room has been unused since then, until I met you."

She closed her eyes. She'd heard men talking about being fucked up by an ex. But what Ronin had dealt with Naomi? Epically fucked up. And she suspected he hadn't told her everything. Maybe he never would. It scared her to think Naomi had damaged him to the point he'd never trust her enough to open up completely.

• • •

THE next morning Amery scrutinized the marks on her body. Some had started to fade, but makeup wouldn't cover the hickeys and scrapes on her neck. Was it ironic she chose a scarf that Ronin used to bind her to cover up the marks?

She opened the office, started coffee, and got to work.

Molly dragged in an hour late. The girl looked horrible.

"Are you all right?"

"Not really." Molly bit her lip as if trying to hold back tears.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not yet. It'll help if I focus on work."

"Being the über-organized boss I am, I e-mailed the updated daily task lists first thing."

That earned her a smile. "Über-organized. That ages you, boss. No one says über anymore."



       
         
       
        

"Get to work, whippersnapper."

At lunchtime, Molly came into her office and shut the door.

Looked as though she'd decided to talk. They'd gotten a lot closer in the past few months. Whether it was because they'd passed the martial arts class together, or was due to Molly's newfound confidence-either way, she'd opened up. They'd gone out for dinner and drinks several times, and their conversations hadn't revolved around work. Amery had hung out with Molly more often than Chaz or Emmylou. "What's up?"

Molly slid into the chair in front of the desk. She stared at her hands for a moment and blurted, "I cheated on Zach last night."

Not what she'd expected. "Okay. How'd it happen?"

"Zach and I were supposed to go to a movie last night, but he called and canceled again. It's happened so many times because Master Black makes Zach do jobs outside the dojo. Jobs he can't talk about and he's keeping really weird hours."

Amery frowned. Ronin had been keeping odd hours too and hadn't been forthcoming about what he'd been doing either-except he had come clean about jumping into the ring. But prior to that, when she'd asked why she couldn't get a hold of him, he'd given her that scary "back off" vibe, so she hadn't brought it up again.

"Anyway, this has been going on for weeks and last night I'd had enough. I went to a sports bar with my new friend Nina and she introduced me to one of her guy friends." She sighed. "A really cute guy friend, who was funny and charming and he was way into me. One thing led to another and I went home with him." Her cheeks turned crimson.

"Have you ever had a one-night stand before?"

Molly peeked up at her. "It's probably hard to believe because I come across as shy, but yeah, I've done the walk of shame a couple of times. I like this guy, we had fun, and he wants to see me again."

"So what's the problem?"

"What if the only reason he wants to see me is that he thinks I'm a slut? And what about Zach? He's really sweet and I like hanging out with him, but he's taking things so slow. I don't know if it's because he thinks I'd have anxiety during sex because I was attacked or what, but we've never done anything more than kiss. Even when I let him know I want more, he says stuff like no rush. So I'm back to the same worry that I'm some kind of slut for wanting sex from one guy one day, and another guy the next day." 

"Molly, as long as you're having safe sex and your partner or partners are enjoying it too doesn't mean you're a slut. It means you're a normal college girl with a healthy sex drive. And that's not something to be ashamed of; that's something to be proud of."

"Really?"

"Really. I've struggled to reconcile my feelings of guilt about sex, wanting it and having it, since I was in my teens. The way I was raised is a pretty powerful deterrent to accepting and embracing my sexuality."

"Even now?"

Especially now that she was involved with Ronin and all the layers of kink he'd added to the mix-kink that didn't seem dirty, bad, or wrong when she was in the moment with him. But she still had an uneasy feeling if she thought too much about how other people would react if they ever found out what she liked and what she did behind closed bedroom doors.