No-he wanted control.
Bullshit. He cared about her.
Didn't he?
Screw it. Even if he didn't and this was a fling, she wanted to see him tonight.
She typed I'm at the Rialto Lounge.
RB: On my way, hang tight.
Too late, I'm already loose.
Then she shoved her phone in her purse and bought herself round number three.
So her vision was a tiny bit blurry when he walked toward her, but Amery would recognize that distinctive gait even four sheets to the wind. "Hey, sexy man. Lemme buy you a drink."
"No, thanks. I'm your DD since it appears you could use one." Ronin looked around. "Interesting place. Come here often?"
"When I need to."
"What happened that sent you scurrying into this lounge lizard's paradise?"
She wasn't drunk, but she had a buzz, and that conversation would be a buzzkill. "Bad day and no, I don't want to talk about it."
Ronin grabbed her chin and peered into her eyes. "Too bad, beautiful. Why are you drinking alone?"
"You're here now, so technically I'm not drinking alone. Just buy me another drink and quit judging me."
He headed to the bar and returned with a tall glass.
"What's this?"
"Coke. I'm not down with your plan to keep drinking until you pass out. I snagged you some pretzels too."
"Gross. These have been gathering dust for twenty years." She shoved the bowl aside and eyed the soda.
"Amery." He plucked up her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Baby, please talk to me about what's going on with you."
Instead of immediately relating her job woes, she took the opportunity to address something else that she hadn't brought up. "It bothered me more than I let on, watching you training with your black belts last week." When he stayed silent and watchful, she continued. "Everything happened so fast the night we were attacked that I didn't appreciate the nuances of your martial arts skills. Maybe it makes me naive, but I've focused on the graceful way you move, not why you can move with such stealth and precision. So when I witnessed your physical power and understood you are a force beyond anything I've ever seen? Seeing that side of you scared me."
"You know I'd never hurt you."
"You're missing the point I'm trying to make. It's like I was seeing you for the first time. What you do as a martial artist is so much a part of who you are. And since I don't know that side of your life, you can understand why I'd feel like you're a stranger sometimes. Why it feels like the only time we're intimate is when we're naked. You expect me to tell all and you don't reciprocate."
Ronin's gaze roamed her face. "I've shared more with you than anyone."
"You mean the kinbaku and shibari?"
"Not just that and you damn well know it."
"That's the thing, Ronin. I don't. There's so much you're holding back from me. And what's hidden beneath the surface might be some scary shit."
"Amery-"
"So I'll show you how this sharing thing works. Today, one of my biggest clients informed me they'll be taking their graphic design work in-house rather than outsourcing starting the end of the month. And yes, I understand it's just business, but it's killing my business. I've lost accounts over the past few months for the same reason. I picked up a couple new projects, but this is my bread-and-butter client. I always worried about having a client like that, because I feared this very thing would happen. Now it has."
"I'm sorry." He kissed the back of her hand.
"I could look on the bright side and be glad they aren't giving me the old heave-ho because the quality of the work has gone downhill or I'm slow in responding to their needs." She swigged the Coke. "But I can't think of anything besides that I'll have to let Molly go."
"It doesn't help to conjure up worst-case scenarios."
"I don't need to conjure them, Ronin, because they're already here. This is the reality of the situation. I set out to drown my sorrows so I wouldn't have to think about it for the rest of the night, and I don't appreciate you showing up here and forcing me to think about it."
"Why aren't your friends here supporting you?"
Amery sighed. "They ditched me to go to their gay bar hangouts."
"They left you alone after you'd been drinking?" he asked sharply.
"No. I meant I didn't invite them to my pity party because we had words and we still aren't speaking. The words I'm waiting to hear from them haven't made it back to me yet." She wouldn't tell Ronin he was the source of discord between them. "But in my defense of drinking alone, I wouldn't have attempted to walk home alone. I would've waited until I sobered up and called a cab." She poked his chest. "Self-defense rule number one I learned at Black Arts. Avoid dangerous situations. See? I paid attention in class."