“Do you know where she’d go?” Krista asked.
Connor didn’t answer. He leaned his elbows on the bar and rubbed his temples.
He’d screwed up so bad. In so many ways. And for once in his life he didn’t know how he was gonna make any of it right.
After two cramped, boring plane rides, Savannah finally climbed the steps into the bus heading to the outskirts of Belle, Louisiana. She checked the address she’d scrawled into her notebook one more time and tried to push down the anxiety rising in her throat.
The state her father must be in? Trailer park meant no money. Her mom’s baby news probably meant drinking. Meant rock bottom ugly.
But she’d deal with it, as she had before. She’d help him out. Then she’d get herself a job. She’d make good tips. She’d save. Then she’d get herself a better education and get to building her own damn empire.
She’d make a better life for herself. And be utterly independent.
She hefted her big bag onto her back and got off when the bus pulled into the last stop. Ten more minutes of walking. Which was good because it helped stretch out her stiffened muscles… and she could mentally prepare herself one last time.
She walked another five minutes, through the trailer park then spotted a familiar figure hunched over a fold-out table, watering a bunch of herbs in pots. “Dad?”
“Savannah?” He turned quickly, a massive smile breaking the look of concentration in his face. “What are you doing here?”
She could ask him the same. Except she didn’t. She stared at him. “You look good,” she finally said.
He looked different. His skin wasn’t the usual sallow. He was in shorts and a tee. They were clean. And he was gardening?
“You look as beautiful as ever.” But he didn’t sound as certain. “But a little tired?”
“A lot tired.” She picked up one of the small plants and read the carefully printed lettering on the small stick. Basil. “Have you spoken to mom recently?”
“Yeah.” He nodded.
She knew he knew. There was a defeated look in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Can I get you a drink?” He brushed his hands and turned towards the trailer door.
Savannah’s heart sank.
“I have a whole selection of teas.” He went up the couple of steps.
“Tea? You mean hot tea?”
“Herbal.” He nodded. “They’re good. I almost like a couple.”
She started to laugh. “Seriously?”
He turned in the open doorway. “Come in.”
Curious, Savannah followed him. She looked around her father’s new home while he fussed with the kettle. Unlike the unit she’d shared with him in the hotel, there was no mess here. There were no bottles. No scrunched up receipts. The place was tiny and sparsely decorated. Only one picture hung on the wall. A framed photo of her from a few years ago—smiling at the camera in a way she hadn’t smiled in years.
Savannah wrapped her cold hands around the warm mug he handed to her and breathed in the light strawberry scent. Not bad. “So you know mom’s news?”
There was no point in trying to make polite chat, she just had to deal with it.
“The baby? Yeah, I know.” He put his mug on the small table and frowned a little as he sat down. “She’s never coming back.”
“No. She’s not.” Savannah watched, quietly amazed as her father gently swished the teabag in his steaming mug.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” he said very quietly.
For a moment Savannah was lost for words. “You’re my father.”
“You didn’t see your mom for ages. She hurt you and you shut her out. I thought… you might do the same to me.” He looked across at her. “I deserve it,” he said. “I stole from you. I betrayed your trust. I’ve let my addictions push away what’s most precious to me.”
“Mom,” she whispered.
“No. You. All these years I used your mother—my declarations of undying love for her—as an excuse to take stupid risks. To gamble. Because I am an addict,” he said it clearly, harshly, like he was still practising the admission. Still accepting it. “But you? I destroyed part of myself when I stole from you.”
“Dad—”
“When you left, that’s when I knew I had to sort it out.” He rubbed his forehead. “I went on a bender. Woke up I don’t know where and realized I’d lost everything. I’d lost you. I was hoping to have things a bit better by the time I next saw you… but you’ve come sooner than I ever hoped you would.”
He thought she was that unforgiving? That hard? Is that what her mom thought too?
“I know it’s not much,” he lifted a hand and waved it round. “But it’s within my means. I’m going to meetings. Got a part-time job down at the school, helping the caretaker there. I quite like looking after the grounds.” He smiled a little sheepishly.
“That’s great, dad.” Her eyes filled. Her father was finally, finally getting it together?
“I’ll pay it back, Sav,” he said gruffly. “What I took. That and more.”
“You don’t need to. I just want you to stay like this. Be well.”
He lifted his mug and took a small sip of the brew. “Where did you go?”
She bit the inside of her lip. “Summerhill.”
His eyebrows shot up and he set the mug down with a bang. “Shut the front door.”
She laughed at his uncool-dad-speak. “No. I did. I was going to go tell them they’re a bunch of bastards.”
“And did you?”
“Pretty much,” her laughter died.
“What was it like?”
“Even more amazing than you’d imagine. It’s just another world.”
“Not our world, Sav. I was such a fool to take a flippant comment as a serious share tip? To put everything into that? To gamble again?” He bent his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I blamed everyone but myself. But it was me making the mistakes Savannah. My mistakes. Over and over. And I’m so sorry I dragged you into it. I’m sorry I lost the hotel. I know you loved it.”
“It was just a three star little hotel, dad. I’ll build my own one day.”
“And I’m gonna come see it. I’m so proud of you. I want to make you proud of me.”
“I am proud of you now. It’s going to be okay. One day at a time, right?” If her father could do it, so could she.
“Right.” He glanced at the bag she’d dropped by the door. “You want to stay here?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m going to go stay at the hotel. Say a proper goodbye to it.”
“Yeah?” he nodded. Then he looked up at her, that hint of wariness back in his eyes. “And are you ever gonna see your mom?”
The hotel was so shabby compared to Summerhill, it was a joke to think her father had ever thought they could make something more of it. Savannah walked through the restaurant, looking over at the little bar behind which she’d practiced her bartending skills for so long. She’d had no customers, only a gently drunk father indulging her youthful fantasies. Clapping when she finally caught the water-filled plastic bottles she juggled with. Throwing cocktails made of colored water. As if a seventeen year old could take on a hotel? She wasn’t even legally allowed to be behind the bar back then.
She climbed up the worn carpet to the room the receptionist had assigned her. She knew it well. Knew it overlooked the main street. Knew the door to the ensuite bathroom used to stick.
It didn’t now. Which meant the new owners must be doing a better job of maintenance. Which was good.
She sat on the bed and pulled her phone from her pocket. She didn’t hesitate. Just dialled. “Hi mom. It’s me.”
“Savannah?” Her mother sounded surprised.
Which was no surprise really given how long it had been since Savannah had called her.
“Where are you?”
“Belle.”
“You’re home?”
“Yeah. I am.” She shifted to sit more comfortably on the bed. “Have you seen dad recently?”
“Last week. To tell him about the baby. I wouldn’t do that to him over the phone—” she broke off. “I wanted to tell you in person too…” Her voice faded.
So her father had been telling the truth. He’d gotten his shit together before he’d heard about the baby. He’d started to try, because Savannah had left. A chunk of that heavy weight that had been sitting below her sternum for so long, melted.
“It’s okay.” Savannah paused. “You didn’t know where I was, so you couldn’t come see me anyway.”
“Would you have let me in?”
Maybe not then. But now? “You really do love Brad, don’t you?”
“Yes. And he loves me.” Her mom answered softly, but strongly.
“Dad didn’t?”
“Your father was too busy battling his addictions to love me.” Her mother’s voice broke then. “I’ve never gone a day without regretting what happened. How it happened. But I couldn’t leave him with nothing. He loved you, so much. If’ I’d taken you, he’d have been destroyed.”