Aria nodded with understanding. “Father and the other guests have moved on to the house for the funeral feast. We should head there too, or Father will get even angrier.”
I nodded. Aria shot Romero a look I had trouble deciphering. Then she led me toward the car, her arms tightly wrapped around my shoulders. Luca and Romero trailed behind. I didn’t look back at Mother’s grave again, knew it would have been too much for me.
“What was that look you gave Romero?” I asked quietly as we settled on the backseat.
Aria made an innocent face but I didn’t buy it. I knew her too well even if we weren’t as close as we used to be, due to the distance between us. She sighed. “I told him to stay away from you.”
“You did what?” I hissed. Luca glanced over his shoulder at us, and I lowered my voice even further. I hoped he hadn’t heard what I’d said. Romero seemed busy finding a good radio station.
“Why did you do that?” I asked in a bare whisper.
“Lily, I don’t want you to get hurt. You think Romero will make you feel happier and help with the sadness, but it’ll only make things worse. Maybe you think you’ve fallen for him but you shouldn’t mistake loneliness for something else.”
I stared at my sister incredulously. “I’m not an idiot. I know my own feelings.”
Aria took my hand. “Please don’t be mad, Lily. I only want to protect you.”
Everyone always said they wanted to protect me. I wondered from what. Life?
***
Two days later, Aria, Gianna, Matteo, Romero and Luca left for New York. I wasn’t sure when I’d see them again. Aria had asked Father if I could visit them for a couple of weeks in the summer but he’d refused with a not so veiled look in Gianna’s direction. I’d put on a brave face, told them I’d be busy spending time with my friends and taking care of Fabi. Romero hadn’t even hugged me goodbye, and he and I never got the chance for a private talk. Maybe it was for the best that I couldn’t ask him about the kiss.
Aria called the same evening, trying to make sure I was really okay. I wasn’t but I didn’t tell her.
Instead I learned to go through the motions, trying to pretend things were going well. But my friends were either on vacation or busy with family matters, and I spent my days alone in our house with only the maid and my ancient bodyguard for company. Father and Fabi were gone almost all the time, and when they returned they shared new secrets they couldn’t talk to me about, and even in their presence I felt alone. The loneliness you felt when you were surrounded by people was the worst kind.
I often spent hours sitting in the chair next to the bed where mother died, thinking about her last words and wondering how I was supposed to keep my promise. Father didn’t allow me to go to college, didn’t allow me to visit New York, didn’t want me to party with my friends. All I could do was wait for something to happen, for life to happen. Maybe if Mother hadn’t died Father would have spent the summer introducing me to potential husbands and I would have a wedding to plan in the near future. Even that seemed preferable to the way my life unfolded now, without anything to look forward to.
Romero
Luca, Matteo and I played cards when Aria’s cellphone rang. She sat on the sofa with Gianna, drinking wine and laughing.
The moment Aria started talking I knew something was wrong. Luca put his cards down as well.
“Why didn’t you call before? You should have send her with us right away!”
Luca got up.
“You can talk to me, too,” Aria said, then she glanced toward Luca. “My Father wants to talk to you.” She held out the phone for him and Luca took it with a worried glance at his wife.
Gianna crossed the room toward her sister. “What’s going on?”
I had a bad feeling.
“Lily’s passed out today. Apparently she hasn’t been eating much since the funeral.”
I rose from my chair. “Is she alright?”
Aria nodded. “Physically, yes. Father called a doctor and he said she needs to eat and drink more. But it’s more than that. From what Father said Lily’s been alone almost the entire time since we left. Nobody took care of her. I can’t believe I let Father talk me into leaving her there. I should have taken her to New York with me right away.”
“By my honor, no harm will come to Liliana when she’s here. She’ll be well protected. I will make sure of that,” Luca said. Then he listened to whatever Scuderi had to say on the other end. “I’m aware of that. Believe me, Liliana will be just as safe as she’s in Chicago.” He listened again and then he hung up.