Bound By Marriage(23)

"Okay, yes, I messed up. I should've told you about the baby straightaway instead of letting you find out from Damon."

"Very generous of you." Sarcasm laced every syllable.

"Don't reduce this to a petty squabble." She shook her head. "It's important."

The silence ended today, no matter that it would splinter the calm of  their relationship. In truth, she'd always known it was a false calm,  hiding more than it revealed.

"I walked into this marriage with my eyes wide open." She thumped a fist  against her chest. "I married you despite knowing what kind of a man  you were. But our child didn't make that choice. So I don't care how  much you confide in Sylvie,"

she lied, "or how much you ignore me, or that you treat me like a  convenience, but you are not hurting our child like that. You will give  our baby the love and respect he, or she, deserves!"

He finally rose to his feet. "Are you finished?"

"No, I'm not." She was too angry to be intimidated by his size. "I'm  never going to be finished on this topic. You wanted a wife and a child,  but that means you have to be a husband and a father. You know what,  forget the hell about being a decent husband-just concentrate on being a  good father."

"I don't want to be a father."

Stunned, thinking she'd misheard, she froze. "What?"

"I made a mistake when I asked you to get pregnant."                       
       
           



       

The words fell between them like drops of icy rain.

Jess couldn't accept what had been said. "Are you asking me to … " She put a protective hand on her abdomen.

"Of course not. I'm not a monster." His face was a shadow in the  darkness. "But don't expect me to be some doting father either. I'll  support the child but I want it in boarding school the second it's old  enough."

Every part of her rejected that idea. "What is wrong with you?" she yelled.

"This is our baby you're talking about, not an unwanted piece of furniture."

"I mean what I say." His tone was pure steel. "That kid is not staying in this house a moment longer than necessary."

A horrible thought crept into her mind. "Do you really think I cheated on you?"

she whispered. "Is that what this is about? You think it's not your child?"





Chapter 14





"Don't be stupid, Jess. I know I'm as responsible for it as you."

"Responsibility? It? We're talking about our baby, Gabriel!" she  repeated, reaching out to grip his arms and shake him, but he was  immoveable. "How can you single-handedly decide you're going to send our  child away?"

"That's the end of this discussion." He pushed her hands off his arms, gentle but firm.

Shaken to the core, she stood unmoving as he turned to walk inside the house.

And then she knew, as if an angel had whispered the answer in her ear. "This is about them."

He faced her. "It's about nothing but my own recognition of having made a  mistake. I don't want a child underfoot and I don't want to be a  father."

"The fact that the anniversary of the fire is two days away has nothing to do with it?"

"I got used to that a long time ago. It's just another day." The door slammed behind him.

Jess sat on the step, hugging her arms around her raised knees. She had  no idea what to do. Gabriel had sounded so resolute, so unyielding.

But tempting as it was to take the easy route, she hadn't lost the  ability to think. Not yet. The anniversary was two days away and  whatever it was that Gabe didn't want her to know, it had to do with the  fire and his family. What was also true was that his new attitude  toward the pregnancy made no sense.

Jess rubbed at her eyes as she stood and prepared to return to the  house. There had to be a reason behind his inexplicable reaction. There  had to be. Because if there wasn't, then there was no hope for this  marriage.

None at all.

In spite of what he'd said two nights ago when he'd dropped that  bombshell about their child, Jess had expected some sort of  acknowledgment of the anniversary from Gabriel. But he went about his  business as usual and the others on the station followed his lead.

"Is it always like this?" she asked Mrs. C., feeling disloyal for making even that simple inquiry.

"Long as I've been working here." The other woman put away the lunch dishes.

"Don't fuss so, Jess. He was a young boy when it happened. It's natural he'd put it behind him."

Jess wondered exactly how well he'd put it behind him. She was sure he'd  had another nightmare last night. After a few more minutes of useless  thinking, she picked up the keys to the SUV. "I'm going to the Randall  station house," she

made sure to tell Mrs. C. "I want to do some work on the garden, but I'll be back before dark."

"I'll let Gabe know." Mrs. C. smiled. "Do you want to take a snack with you?"

"Have you got some crackers or something?"

Mrs. C. eventually sent her on her way with far too much food, including  a container of fresh fruit salad and a thermos full of the hot, sweet  tea Jess had taken to drinking lately. Driving out, Jess wondered if she  should've told Mrs.

C the real reason for her journey but decided she'd done the right thing. Anyone looking for her would find her easily enough.

The drive from Angel to what had once been her home was now familiar.  She got out without feeling the least bit tired and spent the next hour  tidying up the garden. Then, using a pair of gardening shears, she began  to gather a large bunch of flowers from the plants that had anticipated  the coming spring. Because she didn't want to denude any one area, it  took her almost half an hour to collect a sizable bouquet.

Putting the mass on the passenger seat, she drove to the Randall family  plot to lay some blooms on her parents' graves. "I miss you," she said  quietly. "But I think I'm going to be okay now. Funny how such a tiny  thing inside you can make you so strong."                       
       
           



       

Returning to the car after a quick tidy up of the area, she turned back  toward Angel. The Dumont plot was located about fifteen minutes from the  main house.

When she arrived, she was surprised to find one of the small flatbed  trucks used around the station parked nearby. Who else, she wondered,  had come to pay their respects? Bringing the SUV to a stop, she got out,  grabbed the flowers and made her way around the truck. But the man she  saw kneeling by a heartbreakingly small headstone was not anyone she'd  expected.

Feeling like a trespasser on his grief, she would have left had he not already seen her. "I bought flowers."

There was no visible sadness on Gabriel's face. But three of the graves  had little gifts on them-a pinecone on the first, a river-stone on the  second and a tiny bunch of wild daisies on the third. Swallowing her  tears, she added her offerings to his while he stood by, a silent  shadow.

"I'm sorry." She met those impenetrable green eyes. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He dusted off his hat and placed it on his head. "I have to be getting back."

And that quickly, he was gone. But she wasn't fooled, not this time.  Turning, she looked at those graves again. Daisies for a tiny sister  who'd probably made daisy chains, a river-stone for Raphael-maybe he'd  liked to fish or swim-and a pinecone for Michael who'd perhaps loved to  climb.

Such small things and yet Gabriel had gone to the trouble of finding and  bringing them here. Crying openly, she began to head back to the SUV.  Then something made her turn and look at the two adult graves. Nothing  lay on them but the flowers she'd put there.

There was no longer any doubt in her mind that Gabriel had loved his  siblings deeply, but those two barren graves told her that that wasn't  the only part of this story she'd gotten wrong. What had happened with  Stephen and Mary Dumont? And why was her husband still so angry about  it?

Angry enough to forsake his own child.

Jess spent the next several days trying to get Gabriel to talk and  hitting a brick wall. Their battles were so intense and his silence so  intractable that by the time she landed in Auckland for the show, she  was emotionally black and blue. He'd shut her out to a degree that  frightened her, making her despair for the future of their marriage.

"Jess!"

She jerked up at the sound of her own name and met Mrs. Kilpatrick's excited face. "Thanks for coming to pick me up."

Mrs. Kilpatrick enveloped her in a hug scented with Chanel No.5. "Think  nothing of it. Since I was already here and with the car, it was no  problem. I'm so delighted for you. Richard's generated lots of advance  buzz for the opening so I'm sure it'll be a smash."