“Not like other men? Baby girl, you’re going to have to give me a little more detail here. How do you mean?”
Exasperated, I explained the little scene concerning him making me bend over the bed. It was mortifying to talk about, but I hoped she’d tell me that all men did things like that to their partners.
“Back the hell up, he did what?” Whatever control she’d used since I gave her the news snapped, and I could see the anger in her eyes.
“You’re not going to make me repeat that again, are you?” It was embarrassing enough the first time.
“He threatened to spank you if you didn’t let him?” Kim stood up, walked over to the sink, and then turned to glare at me. At my hesitant nod, I thought she was about to punch a wall or something. “What else has he demanded from you?”
“I don’t know. Everything?” That was true. Jack never really asked me to do anything. Since he knew so much more than I did, I assumed it was just the right thing to do, following his lead.
“Damn it, he doesn’t own you!” Kim rolled her eyes, shook her head, and seemed to be fighting back the words she wanted to say.
“He says he does.” I shrugged, not thinking anything about what I was saying because Jack said it, and that being the case it had to be true.
“I’ll fucking cut off his dick.” Kim slammed her coffee cup into the sink, shattering it and my mouth fell open. “How did I not see this? I knew he was a piece of shit the first time I met him!” She was pacing the floor now, not paying me one bit of attention.
I had no idea why she was so angry. But I rarely understood her mood swings. “Obviously you’re upset right now. I’ll come back later.” Kim had never been physically violent, but when she was in this type of mood I’d learned over the years it was just best to give her space.
“You have no idea what he is, do you?” Just like that her anger was replaced with compassion and my head spun at her bi-polar attitude.
“My fiancé?” He was Jack. The man I loved, and just agreed to marry. Even angry, I was a little miffed that she could forget that news since I’d just told her.
“No, baby girl, what type of person he is. I’ve overprotected you to the point where you have no clue what’s going on in the real world.” Shaking her head again, she sighed. “Sit down at the table. I’m going to grab my laptop and show you something.”
Jack had bought her a new high-tech computer as part of the job, and she loved playing on the thing. What that had to do with our conversion was beyond me, but at least she wasn’t freaking out again. I hated it when she got angry.
She pulled a chair next to mine, and opened up the machine. I watched as she typed in BDSM into the search engine, and wondered what those initials stood for. As the images came up on the screen I gasped. “Oh my God, Kim, I don’t want to see that stuff!” Turning away, I decided she finally had lost her ever loving mind.
“Trust me. You need to see this. Your precious Jack? This is what he’s into.”
Turning back, I was appalled at the images that flashed before my eyes. Women with rubber balls in their mouths, hands and legs tied with rope, and other things torturing the participant to the point I wanted to vomit. “Jack isn’t into this stuff.” The thought of him even wanting to do things like that to me made me nauseous.
Then I remembered him tying me up last night. Snatching the computer closer, I typed in nipple clamps. I specifically remembered him saying I’d love them. My heart couldn’t take it! Seeing those little torture devices clamped onto a woman’s breasts forced me out of the chair. “I’m going to be sick.”
Running back to the bathroom, I barely made it to the toilet before I began vomiting. My Jack couldn’t be that way, it was impossible! All the little things he’d said to me started coming together and I knew I was deluding myself. I threw up again, and Kim held back my hair.
When there was nothing but dry heaves left, I stood up on shaking legs and began to cry. How could he keep something like that from me? Had I just been too stupid and ignored the signs? I wanted to run away somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs. Not my Jack. Not the man I’d just promised to marry. How could I have been such an ignorant lack wit?
“I need to get out of here.” I had no idea where I was going to go, but someplace that I could clear my head that didn’t remind me of him.
“Baby girl, I can’t go with you. I have to open the center. Why don’t you just go lay down for a bit and we can go out after work?”
“No! I need to get the hell out of here!” That was the first time in my life I’d used a curse word. Had my world not just crashed at my feet, I may have felt bad about it. At the moment, I wanted to strike out at the first thing I saw, language be damned. Now I was even thinking bad words. I laughed like a crazy woman.