With no time, I asked her to dress quickly and getting her to the car was my number one priority before I forgot that I was the boss and tossed her back in bed. We didn’t speak again until I pulled up at her place. I walked her to the front door, waiting until she’d unlocked the doors, before turning her in my arms.
Kissing her respectfully, since we were in public even though no one was around yet, I reminded her that I’d be by at lunch to pick her up. I didn’t like leaving her, but responsibility always came first.
chapter Nine
His
I wasn’t sure how I felt about what Jack had done. The man confused me more than ever. Was it just my inexperience, or were all men so demanding in the bedroom? I honestly didn’t have a clue. The tenderness between my legs reminded me of how well he’d initiated me into love making, but outside of making me uncomfortable undressing, I doubted I could have asked for a better tutor.
Sure, there’d been that brief moment when I wanted to punch him in the face because of the pain, but I was pretty sure all women went through that the first time. But the whole bending over the bed while he touched me that other way, that’s what I couldn’t reconcile with the Jack I thought I knew. After I made coffee, I’d walk downstairs and ask Kim. Besides, I wanted to talk over my experience, and she was the only friend I had outside of Jack.
We were getting married! It was probably too soon. We’d known each other less than a month, but I wanted that. The truth was, I couldn’t see myself ever being with another man after him. Something told me he wouldn’t allow me to be, even if I did consider it. Where that thought came from, I had no idea. I don’t know how to explain it, but I felt like he owned me.
I guess soon he really would. Being married did kind of give a person that right. Didn’t it? The thought kept playing through my mind as I brewed the coffee. Was I ready to be completely his? My emotions were all over the place at the moment and I wasn’t sure what I was ready for.
Coffee could wait. I needed my big sister. Now! I decided changing out of the clothes I wore last night was a priority first though, and quickly went back to my room to redress. Sliding on a pair of jogging pants, and a tank top, I quickly made my way out the door and down to Kim’s.
I didn’t knock, because this was the first time we hadn’t lived in the same place and she was family. Kim was already sitting at the kitchen table having coffee and I made myself at home, joining her.
“You look tired, baby girl. Long night?” The teasing smile she gave made the emotional dam burst that I was holding in. Without any warning whatsoever, tears flooded from my eyes. I was wrapped in her arms and holding on to her tightly, not sure why I was such a mess.
“What did he do to you, baby?” Her hands soothed over my hair, giving me the tenderness I needed to calm down.
“Nothing I haven’t wanted for weeks.” I spoke through my hiccups, and hated that I was being so immature.
“Whoa. You made love?” She pulled back to read my face, and I nodded my head. “Was it that bad?” The concern in her face made everything seem right for a moment, and my tears stopped.
Giving a watery smile, I shook my head. “It was beautiful, intense, and okay, a little painful at first, but wonderful.” That about sums up my initiation into lovemaking, I thought.
“Those are all good things, except the pain, and well that’s just par for the course.” She was smiling again. “So you’re just a little emotional now. Understandable.”
“Maybe?” I pulled out of her embrace and made myself at home by pouring a cup of her coffee. I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of the other things that happened with Jack, and needed a few seconds.
“Did something else happen?” The tone in her voice changed to one of confusion.
“He asked me to marry him.” I brought my cup back to the table and sat down again. I guess that was a good a place to start as any.
“What did you say?” Kim’s eyes widened. She seemed to be either excited or appalled that he’d popped the big question. I couldn’t really get a good read on her emotions.
“I said yes.” Nibbling my lip, I really didn’t know how to ask her about what was really bothering me.
“You don’t sound sure it was the right thing to do. I mean, this is all moving pretty quickly.” She was staring at me, and I could tell she wanted to say more, but didn’t.
“I want to marry him, it’s just, well some of the things that happened.” I stopped trying to word this right. “I guess, I’m worried that he’s not like other men.”