He spins me to face him, then pins me up against the wall, dragging my hands above my head. I should push him away and remind him it’s over between us, but my blood is running hot after our escape, and the dark intensity of his eyes shows it’s the same for him.
“I’ve fucked up a lot of things. All my life. I don’t usually mean to, but it happens anyway. I’ve got no one to blame but myself.” He takes a deep breath. “I usually don’t care, but us? I don’t want to fuck this up. Please don’t let me fuck this up.”
My chest goes tight, constricting my heart, which is beating a mile a minute. “Declan... I don’t know. The two of us? It’s just so—”
His fingers tighten around my wrists, burning against my skin and holding me in place. “Please. Let me finish.”
I open my mouth to argue, but shut it again and nod. I should have listened to him the day of the wedding. Or answered one of his calls. Or swallowed my pride and gone to him.
His clear blue eyes hold me in place as firmly as his hands. I can see that this is difficult for him, and I’m not proud of it, but I’m glad it is.
Difficult means he cares.
“I can be a jerk. I know that, and it’s probably not going to change overnight.”
“This is you convincing me?
“This is me being honest. You want pretty and fake? That’s not me.”
“No! I want to believe you wouldn’t hurt me. I want to go back in time and not see you standing there watching my sex tape!” God, it hurts. I close my eyes at night and see that image in my head.
Him at the laptop with my video playing.
“You don’t think I want that too?” he shouts. “I want to kill your douchebag of an ex-boyfriend for even touching you, let alone filming it. You might not have noticed, but I don’t share well. I wasn’t watching, I was turning it off.” Declan’s voice vibrates with anger.
Heaven help me, I believe him. I look into his eyes, and I see a man tortured by my own pride. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He jerks back like I’ve slapped him. “I’m that hard to believe?”
“No, I mean, I’m sorry for running. I’m sorry for avoiding you. I’m just... sorry.”
Declan’s body relaxes slightly. “I didn’t make it easy on you, did I?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “But I should’ve at least listened.”
“So why did you come? You could’ve watched me make an ass out of myself on TV like you were supposed to.” He’s so close it’s hard to breathe.
I turn my head, breaking eye contact. I came because the instant I heard his opening speech, I knew what he was doing. I’ve read his opening. Hell, I helped write it.
What we wrote together wasn’t what he said.
The words he said were perfectly average, predictable, solid B+ material for a lawyer fresh out of school. He’d been throwing the case, and I couldn’t sit home on the couch waiting to find out why. “You sounded like your opening was written by an intern. I just wanted to make sure my name wasn’t on it anywhere.”
He stares at me for a long moment and then rests his forehead against mine and laughs. “Fuck. How can you expect me to let you go when you keep being so adorable?”
“Well.” I lick my lips. “First off, I’m not adorable. Puppies are adorable. Second, you start by relaxing the muscles in your fingers.”
He moves closer, his soft breath playing across my neck. His voice drops deeper, into a sexy tone that makes heat flow straight into my center. “Like I said, adorable. But I don’t think you want me to let you go, do you?”
I struggle against him, but he holds me in place with ease so I change tactics and go with honesty. “No, I don’t, because every time you get near me I can’t tell if I want to slap you or tear your clothes off. You’re crazy. You’re impulsive. You’re distracting. And sometimes you are so sweet it hurts, but then the minute I slip up and let you in? You break my h—”
He kisses me forcefully, rough lips forcing mine open while he presses his body against me. I’m distinctly aware of every inch of us that is touching. His heat, his strength, the scratch of his stubble against my cheek, and the sheer intensity of his presence threatens to overwhelm my better judgment.
“I broke your heart.” Declan watches me like he’s seeing something for the first time.
I press my traitor lips together, partly to keep them from revealing any more secrets, partly to keep from closing the distance between us and kissing him again like I want to.
He smiles. “I broke your heart.”