She turns, briefly, shakes her head. Then she gets in, slamming the door behind her.
“I fucking love you!” I finally said the words so many girls have hoped to hear, but the only one that matters doesn’t. The engine starts, and then she’s gone, leaving me treading water with my words echoing in my head. I mouth them, needing to taste them again, to make them real. They come out in a soft whisper.
“I do. I fucking love you.”
Not that it matters anymore.
Claire
I give the driver my mom’s old address, and lean back to let the full weight of my humiliation sink in. My broken engagement to Michael should’ve been worse, but finding out that Declan used and manipulated me over and over makes me want to crawl under a rock and die.
It’s a relief that I hadn’t completely moved my stuff into Garrett’s house yet. We’ve moved most of our things over there already, but for tonight at least I don’t have to face sleeping in the lion’s den. His house is gorgeous. It has everything I could ever want, and I can’t wait until school starts up so I can move out.
Fucking Declan.
I put aside my personal feelings and worked a case I found abhorrent for him. Yes, it was my job, but without him and his encouragement I would’ve quit as soon as I found out who we were working for. What did I get in return? Humiliation beyond my wildest dreams.
There are no shades of gray here.
My phone rings. It’s been doing that over and over since I ran off. It’s muted, but the screen keeps flashing at me, demanding attention I don’t have the energy to give. I don’t want to talk to anyone. Not Mom. Not Garrett. Especially not Declan. I don’t want to answer questions or explain the unexplainable.
Again, more ringing. With a growl, I hit the button to lower my window and throw it as hard as I can. It sails onto the shoulder, exploding in a satisfying shower of glass and metal. Probably not a great idea since I just joined the ranks of the unemployed, but I don’t care. It was worth it.
I throw my head back and laugh, letting the wind dry my face. The driver sends a slightly worried look over his shoulder. Not caring if he sees how crazy I’m feeling at the moment, I bare my teeth in a huge grin. Let him tell his buddies about the weird chick he drove home. Better that than pity.
Declan didn’t even leave me the dignity of underwear. Just one more insult to add to the pile.
Life will go on. Eventually.
I should be grateful he was too incompetent to get the feed into the main tent. Wouldn’t that have been fun? It’s bad enough I’m going to have to have this conversation with my mother. Spending the rest of my career wondering if someone around the table has watched me have sex would have been a nightmare.
Someone other than my stepbrother.
What did I do to deserve this?
That’s all I want to know. What did he possibly have to gain by pushing and pushing until I fell for him, and then trying to destroy my world?
Do I just attract the biggest assholes on the planet?
“Why?” I mouth, picturing the way Declan looked when he stood across from me at the altar.
Declan
“Why, Declan? Why do you do this to yourself?” Dad’s facing the window, not even looking at me. “You’re smart, charismatic, skilled. You could be an amazing attorney if you applied yourself. It’s like you want an excuse to fail. Is that it? If you turn everything into a joke, nothing will matter?”
It’s the day after their wedding, but they aren’t leaving on their honeymoon until after the Cooper case is finished, so Dad has the perfect opportunity to nail me to the wall. Shockingly enough I wasn’t exactly in the mood to chat after my little swim.
“Don’t stand there and fucking psychoanalyze me. How about you? Why do you find it so hard to believe I wasn’t responsible?” Head high, I look Dad in the eyes as he turns to face me. “Or don’t you care about the truth so long as blaming me fits into your tidy little narrative.”
I was half surprised nobody was waiting outside the elevator to arrest me when I came in.
The next silence seems like it lasts forever. “I do care, but you’ve done nothing lately except show me over and over that you resent Claire and Annette. Excuse my language, but get the fuck over it already. Annette will never replace your mother, but she’s a part of my life now and so are you. You’re going to have to find a way to accept it.”
“Why her?” I need to know. It’s something I should have asked months ago, but I didn’t want to hear his answer.
Dad smiles wistfully. “I love her. Not more or less than your mother, but differently. Annette will never be Caitlyn, and I don’t want her to be. They’re different people, but I love them both. Your mother would’ve wanted me to move on, just as I would have if our places had been reversed. I wish you could see that.”