My mother puts down her cup, and her expression hardens. “I never said you were. But you are young and inexperienced. Sometimes there are a lot more gray tones in a picture than it might seem at first.”
I hate this. I hate that I’m fighting with the one person who has always supported me, but how do I just shrug and accept that my mother is literally sleeping with the enemy? Garrett’s my boss, which is bad enough, but what’s her excuse?
“So explain it to me? You loved Dad. I know you did.” My voice begs for her to make this make sense.
She smiles sadly, and I can’t deny the pain I see behind her eyes. “I still do, and I always will. He gave me you, and we had many wonderful years together. He’ll always have a piece of my heart, but sweetheart, he’s gone.”
“And it was Cooper who took him away from us!” I focus on the cars driving by. It’s too hard to look at her while we talk about this.
“They played a part,” she responds quietly.
“A part? He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for that job.” I know that truth in every fiber of my being.
“You’re right. He’d probably be alive.” She pauses and picks her cup back up, but doesn’t drink. “But we’d still be divorced, and he’d still be troubled.”
I shake my head in denial, but she doesn’t let up.
“Claire, you blame them for everything, and there was never a reason to tell you differently, but if you think about it, you know your father’s problems didn’t begin and end with his job. Cooper Senior was a decent man working with tight budgets. Your father respected him or he wouldn’t have stayed on so long. His son isn’t nearly the man he was, and it showed as soon as he took over.”
She sighs. “I’ll never deny that the job pushed him over the edge, but your father was drinking even before he got sick, and nobody forced him to give up therapy, or to abandon his family. My career was taking off when it got bad. He could’ve walked away when the tremors started, but he chose to stay. He liked things the way they were, with both his department and his family depending on him. One or the other,” Mom lifts a shoulder in a sad sort of shrug, “He probably could have adjusted to, but losing both of those set him adrift.”
“He loved us.” My voice comes out small and weak. I feel like a little girl again and I don’t want to hear what she’s saying. I don’t want to remember the fights they had when I was in bed, or the nights he spent away.
She nods, and her eyes are shining with tears just like mine. “He did, and I don’t want you to ever doubt that. Something in him was broken, baby, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault.” Mom draws in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I disagreed with your father back then, but still loved and stayed with him as long as I could. I disagree with Garrett now, but it’s not going to stop me from loving him, or marrying him. This isn’t our fight anymore.”
For several long moments we’re both quiet. This conversation was probably years in the making. As an adult I can understand how being married to Dad would’ve been hard on her, but he was my father. He’ll always be my hero. She may have put it behind her, but I’m not sure I can so easily dismiss feeling like a traitor for defending Cooper Holdings.
“Do you really love Garrett?” I ask, changing the subject.
Mom smiles a little self-consciously. “You don’t see him like I do. I know he seems like a hard man, but yes, I love him, and he cherishes me. Don’t judge him without knowing him. We’ve both seen our share of loss. He needs someone soft to come home to, where he can let his guard down.
“If we’re being completely honest? I would rather he throw the case in their face and walk away, but he’s not his company. We’ve talked about it, he knows my feelings, and sometimes when you love someone, you have to look beyond the black and white.”
“I’m not sure I can.” Either with the case, or Declan.
“I can’t tell you what to do. You’re too big for that now.” She reaches over and grabs my hand. “But my advice, if you want to hear it, is to keep an open mind and use this as an opportunity to learn. This case isn’t yours. It’s Declan’s, and he’s going to have to live with whatever choices he makes.”
I snort. “If you know him, you know he couldn’t care less.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t believe that, and if you do, I don’t think you know him as well as you think you do. From what I’ve seen, he’s very much like his father. They aren’t easy men, but their feelings run deep.”