With a sigh, I put the reader down and roll onto my back, closing my eyes to the bright sun on my face. I’ve seen him around, of course. The ship isn’t that big. Usually he’s just wearing a pair of board shorts and a smile, showing off his bronzed chest and tattoos. Either a lot of the passengers didn’t catch the whole wedding thing, or he’s really going out of his way to show that it’s not a problem, because every time I see him he has a new girl on his arm. Or arms. I bet it took him all of an hour to replace me.
Fuck him. I’m sure those girls are.
I hate that I’m weak enough to be jealous, and that I’m still thinking about him.
Even with my eyes shut, I sense the shadow passing in front of me, blocking the sun for a moment. I open them immediately, expecting Gavin. I’m not sure why I thought it’d be him, but it turns out to be Joyce, leading Mabel to one of the deck chairs.
“Right over here, Mabel. Here are two chairs for us.” She might be a little batty, but the love she has for her friend is plain in her voice. I wonder if Cassie and I will be like that when we’re old. Looking at them, I smile a little. I could do a lot worse than cruising around and speaking my mind.
Joyce settles Mabel on the chair, giving her a hand when she sits down. “There you go. I’ll go get drinks.” She gives me a wave and a smile before heading to the snack bar. I peek over at Mabel, who looks after her with a sweet smile. Maybe they’re more than friends? I grin at the thought. Never too old for love, I guess. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.
I lean back, close my eyes and soak up the sun.
“You seem to be taking it well.” Joyce is back, and I’m assuming she’s talking to me. Opening one eye half-way, I peer in her direction to find her examining me, her eyes crinkled tightly at the corners. “I’ve had some short affairs, but I’m pretty sure I never had a marriage that didn’t last a day.” Her face is full of sympathy.
How much do I tell her? “It’s complicated.”
“It always is, dearie, otherwise it wouldn’t hurt so much.” She looks at me expectantly, her open eyes and slight curves at the corners of her lips saying, “Of course you’re going to tell me everything.”
Then it all just pours out of me, and I mean ALL. The night at the club, Paul, our parents’ marriage, the cruise, our marriage, our fights, everything. Once I start, I can’t stop until I’ve unloaded, and through it all she listens silently. If her sparkling blue eyes didn’t look so alert, I’d think she’d lost me long ago.
“So now, I guess he’s got his own room somewhere. I’ve seen him here and there, but we haven’t spoken since he left our suite.” I study the deck intently after finishing my story, afraid to look up at her. It’s pretty wild, and I’m just waiting for her condemnation. Stealing, lies, sort of cheating, sleeping with my stepbrother. Putting it all out there, it sounds like a soap opera.
“That is quite a tale,” she chuckles.
“You don’t think I’m horrible?” I dare to look, expecting the worst. “He might end up being my stepbrother!”
Joyce doesn’t look horrified. She looks amused. “Stepbrother? That’s nothing.” She gathers herself. “I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I very nearly married my second cousin for my first husband, and some of the other girls weren’t nearly that picky, if you know what I mean.” Then she does laugh, bubbly peals of laughter tumbling out of her. “Trust me, dearie, it’s nothing. You two aren’t even related.”
I laugh at myself. Getting everything out into the open makes me feel a little better. “I suppose you’re right. Compared to how much of an assho— jerk he is, the step thing is nothing.”
“All men are assholes sometimes.” She laughs at the shock on my face. “And all women can be bitches given the chance. Or are you an angel sent down from heaven?” Joyce raises a perfectly lined eyebrow.
Be the bulldog, not the bitch.
I blush. “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t even know if I should fix it. What do I do?” I guess it’d be too much to hope that the old woman has the answer.
“Does he still make you tingle, even when you’re seeing red and ready to hang his walnuts up for the squirrels?”
“Joyce!” I laugh and blush even harder.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I’ve felt that way about a man exactly four times.” Her grin is sly, like she’s waiting for me to make a connection.
“And you were married how many times?” I see where she’s going with this, but just to be sure.