Shit.
I need someone to talk to. Joyce? I guess, if I wanted to hear about how the same thing happened with her second husband who was amazing with his toes. Pass. I blow my hair out of my eyes in frustration. Yes, that’d be great. How would I even start? “Hi there, inappropriate old lady, let me tell you about how I fucked my stepbrother and how awesome it was until he flew off the hook.” I’m sure she’d love it.
I guess Cassie would be the obvious choice. Picking up the phone from my nightstand, I scroll until I find her name and tap the call button. It rings a bunch of times and I almost give up, but then I hear her familiar voice. “Angie! Are you alright?” She’s concerned. I cut her off pretty suddenly before the argument.
I sigh. “Yeah. Or at least I will be.” I think.
“Whoa, what happened? I heard Gavin in the background before you hung up, and he sounded really pissed.”
I want to cry again, and it pisses me off that he can make me feel that way. “Yeah, you could say that. He overheard us talking, and now he’s convinced that I tried to get him to knock me up. Like I’m some gold digging slut. What the hell is up with that?” For once, Cassie’s quiet. Like dead quiet, so long that I think I’ve lost my connection, except that I can hear her breathe. “Cassie? Are you there?”
“Yeah. Just not sure what to say. What a prick.”
“Well, I mean, I guess what we said sounded bad, but—”
“Seriously? Making excuses for him?”
“No, I’m not. It’s just—”
“Angie. Listen to yourself. You don’t actually want him, do you?”
“No!” I say it way too quickly, too defensively, and she hears it. “But I might be pregnant. With him.”
“I know it’s scary, trust me, but Angie? We had our periods together like last week.”
“Yeah, but—”
“But nothing. Chances are super slim. You’re going to be fine.”
“I suppose, but—”
“Even with the worst timing, once isn’t very likely.”
“Um...” I’m only on the phone. I shouldn’t be this embarrassed.
“So, not just once then. I knew it! He was good, wasn’t he? How many times?”
She giggles, which annoys me. I sigh. “Cassie, priorities!”
“I’m sorry.” She laughs. “Excuse me for wanting to dish with my first married friend. He’s really getting to you, isn’t he?”
“I’m not really married.” Probably. Just the thought scares me a little. “He’s an asshole, it’s just—”
“You like him.” Her teasing tone gets on my nerves. Maybe I shouldn’t have called her after all. “You’re in love with your totally hot asshole stepbrother, and now that he’s mad at you, you don’t want to admit it.”
“He’s inappropriate, crude, bossy, vulgar and a big freaking bully. You heard what he did to Paul.” Anger is good. Anger means I’m not scared or hurt.
“And still you want him back so bad it hurts.”
“Yeah. Wait, no! Stop putting words in my mouth.” I should’ve gone looking for Joyce.
All Cassie does is laugh. “Alright, so tell me this, then. Why are you so upset right now? You got your nasty stepbro sex, and now he’s pissed and out of your hair. Isn’t that like having your cake and eating it too? Or maybe he was that good at eating your cake—”
“Cassie!”
She’s trying to stifle her laughter. I can hear it. “Seriously. Why do you care, Angie? If you can answer that, maybe you can figure out what you need to do.”
“I—”
“Yeah, I thought so. Think about it. Oh, and speaking of thinking about it, I just remembered that I may have given away that you’re not here to your mom.” She sounds mildly apologetic at that at least. “Sorry, I just didn’t think about it, and you never actually asked me to cover for you...”
“Yeah, yeah.” I sigh. I seem to do that a lot lately. “She was bound to figure it out eventually anyway. I’ll worry about that when I talk to her next time.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“About Mom?”
“No, silly. About your sexy-ass stepbrother with the big chest, sexy tattoos and the tight ass. That guy you married.” She’s laughing again.
“What can I do? He made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to see me. Maybe I’ll just spend the day catching rays while I pretend that he never existed.” Chances of that happening are just slightly higher than pigs flying.
“If you were me I might almost believe that.” For a moment she’s actually serious. “I know you Angie. You’re not going to be able to let this go. When you first sink your teeth into something, you’re like a freaking bulldog.”