I opened my golf-sized umbrella and held it over us as I sat on the wet steps.
“Hey.”
“It’s gross out here tonight,” I said.
“Had to happen eventually. We’ve had good weather the last few weeks.”
An unseasonably warm breeze caught the smell of his cologne and reminded me of our nights together. His chest would glisten with sweat, and the cologne he’d put on that morning would rise to the surface. I wanted to lean in and take a deep breath. But I couldn’t. It was frustrating as hell.
Losing my patience, my invitation came out differently than I’d planned. “Just come inside,” I blurted. “You don’t need to sit out here all night.”
It seemed like my suggestion was completely unexpected. Chase just stared at me. Could he really be that blind? Did he think we would just go on forever with him sitting across from my apartment all night and me delivering baked goods?#p#分页标题#e#
When he still hadn’t answered, I repeated myself. “Come inside. This is silly. It’s raining out, and I have a perfectly dry apartment just footsteps away. You can stand guard from the couch all night, if you want. Just come inside.”
The nice, friendly face I’d come to expect for my nightly visits transformed, replaced by the stony and distant face he’d used when he dumped me. I knew what was coming next, and I wasn’t accepting it anymore.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Reese.”
I stood. “Well, I do.”
“Things between us are good. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
He couldn’t really believe that crap, could he?
“Things between us are good? What are we even, Chase? Tell me.”
His jaw flexed. “We’re friends.”
I could see him shutting down, and I didn’t care. My emotions had been all over the place lately, and I needed an outlet. Unfortunately, the outlet was going to be Chase tonight.
“I don’t want to be friends!” I yelled. “We were never friends.”
I hadn’t come out planning to give him an ultimatum tonight, but somehow I was there.
It was time.
“I can’t give you anything more, Reese. I told you that.”
“Maybe. But your words and actions vastly contradict each other, and I’ve always been taught to believe what people show you, not what they tell you.”
Chase raked his fingers through his wet hair. “You want something I can’t give you.”
“What I want is you. That’s it. I don’t need someone outside to guard me and be my friend. I need someone to be with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Is there a difference? They both wind up with the same result.”
“Is this really what you want? You’re going to sit out here night after night? What happens when I start bringing home men I plan to fuck?” I could see the anger brewing in his eyes, and I thought maybe it would break him. “How will that work, exactly? Will you shake hands and ask him what time he’ll be done with me so you can take a break from your post?”
“Stop it, Reese.”
I was beyond frustrated that I couldn’t get through to him.
“You know what? I will stop it. Because I’m done. You don’t want me, that’s fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Stick around here much longer, and I’ll be bringing home a man to stay for the night.” I leaned in closer and nailed my point home. “I’ll leave the window open so you can listen.”
Chapter 36
Chase
Even stalkers eventually settled into a routine.
After Reese left her apartment in the mornings, I’d go for a run. It was four miles back to my place, and I usually sprinted half of it, fueled by the frustration of watching her walk away each morning.
The late-night snacks had stopped a week ago. She didn’t even look in my direction anymore. I suppose I should have been grateful she was only giving me the cold shoulder. Her threat had been all I could think about lately. What the hell would I do if I watched her walk into her building with another man, and he didn’t come back out? The thought made me run faster.
How long would it take?
Fuck.
It wouldn’t take long.
Even though I normally ran the same route across town, today I didn’t. It wasn’t a conscious choice; my feet just led the way while my mind was busy with thoughts of Reese.#p#分页标题#e#
When I hit Amsterdam Avenue, I realized how far off course I was. And where my subconscious had taken me. Little East Open Kitchen.
The shelter where Peyton had volunteered.
Where Eddie had eaten every day.