Born to be Broken (Alpha's Claim #2)(18)

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, saying, "Survival is not selfish. Citizens who hate the bastard will simply kill you for sport. This was suicide."

Claire's voice was flat, steady as she affirmed the obvious. "I know."

"Have you lost your mind?"

She licked her chapped lips. "Look at me, Corday. I'm running out of steam, I throw up everything I eat; sleep gives me no peace …  I am already dying."

"You are not dying, you are killing yourself!" the Beta shouted, clutching her shoulders as if he might shake sense into her "If you would just rest …  If you would come home with me, I could take care of you."

"No."

"Aside from Nona, the Omegas hardly tolerate your presence here. It's only a matter of time before you're cast out." Why wouldn't she see that he could cherish her? "Why won't you listen to reason?"




 

 

"I CHOOSE HOW TO SPEND MY LIFE! NOT YOU, NOT SHEPHERD, NOT SENATOR KANTOR, NOT THE FUCKING PEOPLE OF THÓLOS. DO YOU HEAR ME, BETA?"

He had never once seen her with such fire in her eyes. "You're upset."

Throwing her hands up in the air, Claire agreed, "Of course I'm fucking upset! All I want to do is scream. Knowing that all I can offer Thólos is a naked picture on a flyer makes me loathe myself. How DARE YOU reprimand the fact that at least I am trying to do something while I still can? Your precious resistance does nothing!"

"Claire." He reached out to hold her, soothing what made her tremble and cry. "Please … "

"I can't be what you want me to be," she sobbed against his chest. "I can hardly be myself anymore."

"I am sorry," Corday whispered, his heart breaking to see her so sad. "Don't cry. I will purr for you, and you can rest. Okay? I should not have shouted."

His offered low vibration began, Claire weeping like a child in his arms. Her arms went around him, her broken apologies lost in the wretchedness.

Muttering nonsense, Corday stroked her hair. "We'll go inside, we'll eat and you won't get sick …  I will stay so that you can sleep."

He had to carry her and she let him, clinging to his neck as if he would disappear otherwise.

From a distance, Shepherd fought every instinct that told him to rush in and take her from the man comforting what was his. He hardly registered Jules's hand gripping his forearm, the silent reminder to be still and measure the consequences. Because it was clear now his second-in-command was correct. Even if he dragged her back, she would not survive in this state.

Claire had lost the will to live.



Throughout the day, Shepherd observed her actions inside the reeking plant. Corday was correct in his assessment. The Omegas avoided her and Claire seemed utterly unconcerned as she kept to her corner, purposefully distancing herself. All but the old woman had turned on the very catalyst of their freedom.

Envisioning a long row of women swinging, their hanged corpses on display to any who would deny his mate, Shepherd measured each wary look they turned towards Claire, even hating the women who gently ignored the suffering, dark-haired girl.

They were all unworthy of her, every single one; just like this city of lies and evil.

The Beta did tend to her, made her eat and held back her hair twenty minutes later when it all came up. He fed her again, pressured the small thing to drink water, all the while holding her in his lap, chest to chest, her legs wrapped around his torso, as if she were a child or his lover. The second serving seemed to stay down and in minutes Claire was dead to the world, snoring on his shoulder. 

It was impossible to hear the exchange between Nona French and the Enforcer, especially with the man's lips pressed against Claire's hair. Eventually the Beta lay down, and the old woman pulled the man's long coat over the pair.

The dark arrived, Claire cried out in her sleep. When Corday's horrified eyes looked up to find Nona's sympathetic expression, Shepherd focused on the movement of the Enforcer's mouth and watched his lips form the words.

"She just called for Shepherd."

The absolutely crestfallen expression on the hated Enforcer's face brought a curl to Shepherd's own lips. The Beta might be the one holding her, but even damaged as the bond was, his Omega's mind was full of thoughts of her rightful mate. A sign from the Gods, a reminder to them all, that Claire was his.



Claire woke less haggard. "I am feeling better. Thank you."

In a voice so low that no member of the spying Followers could hear, Corday pressed his lips to her ear and whispered, "Claire, it's going to be over soon, we have access to their communications now. So hold on. Hold on until I can kill him. I swear to you I will."

Doing her best to pretend she wasn't ill, Claire nodded and kissed his cheek. "I have a great deal of faith in you, Corday. You are a wonder."

"And you will be free."

"I will," she acknowledged, eyes soft.

Slender fingers carefully pulled off her mother's wedding band. Under their makeshift blanket, she took Corday's hand and slipped the band on his pinky.

"What are you doing?"

"I want you to keep this for me." Claire smiled as she gave her token. "A reminder, so that you don't forget I'm rooting for you."

She was making him uneasy. "I can't keep this."

"I am only lending it," she corrected, squeezing his hand. "You are to give it back to me when Thólos is free."

He hugged her, felt his heart soar. "Claire. I have faith in you, too."

"You are my hero, you know."

Corday wanted to kiss her, was so very tempted to thread his fingers in her hair and pull her lips to his. But that was not what they were; that was not what she could be …

At least not yet.

"Now," Claire broke the moment, shy. "You need to get out of here before the sun comes up. If I don't feel you're safe, I'll worry."

Already untangling herself, she eased out of his embrace. Corday was not allowed to linger, Claire urging him to leave before light might make his journey dangerous. It was obvious he did not want to go, but she seemed so much better, her eyes more alive and a smile on her lips when she spoke.

The Beta retreated. The second he was gone far enough down the causeway not to hear her, Claire doubled over, and quietly lost her stomach all over the frost by the chute.

Corday did not hear her vomiting, nor did he see even a hint of the Followers that had surrounded him so flawlessly when he stepped out of her sight. He popped his collar to warm his neck, and shuffled off with his hands buried deep in his pockets-smiling.

Shepherd left Corday in the hands of Jules's team, his attention on his ill Omega and the change that came over Claire the instant the boy was gone. The false smile fell, and she moved far from the group and their fires to sit in solitude, as if invisibly drawn nearer to the place where Shepherd hid in the dark.

He could almost reach out and touch her.

Once comfortable, the female pulled a worn book out of her pocket and lay back to read. Shepherd cocked a brow. His little mate was reading a book he knew by heart, The Art of War. It was oddly endearing, the man imagining future conversations about the text.

What was her favorite passage?




 

 

Claire read while most of the women still slept; she read the same book she had read every day since she had found it, and let her eyes linger on memorized quotes. Sometimes she fancied that it was like reading a segment of Shepherd's soul. She could see his mentality in the book, his tactics, and sought vainly to understand-fixated to the point where she did not notice that Nona stirred.

The old woman prepared instant coffee, readying a serving for Claire.

"What wisdom do you have for me today?" Nona asked, pressing a steaming cup of swill into the young woman's hands.

Claire tossed the book on the ground as she always did when done with it, treating it badly. "According to Sun Tzu, great results can be achieved with small forces …  But I choose to interpret that as: pissing off a bunch of women is a really bad idea."

The old Omega chuckled softly, eyes dancing as she watched Claire sip the coffee and grimace.

Nona stroked back Claire's dark hair and teased, "You always did love your cappuccinos, but I'm afraid that's the best I can do."

Looking down at the shitty watered down beverage, Claire tried to banter. "I have many reasons to hate Shepherd, but reason number one is that I have not had a decent cup of joe since I was run out of my home …  the jerk."

Her friend offered a soft chuckle.

Claire took another sip of the steaming brown water. With Nona at her side she sat in miserable stillness, her bloodshot eyes growing resolute. She did not know what was causing it, but her ennui was beginning to fade. What was replacing it was acutely painful.

She had altered …  crushing indifference warring with an unbearable sense of loss.

She should have felt victorious-she didn't. She should have felt pride; she'd forgotten even knowing such a sensation.

Nona was speaking some nonsense about the coming sunrise, Claire robotically drinking the tasteless beverage. When the brew was finished, the cup was set aside.

It was time.

Claire stood up and just walked away, leaving her friend without a goodbye.

She would see the sky for herself, observe the sunrise alone. But it would not move her. The sky had lost its magic.