Shepherd had accepted his beloved's liaisons, even though the revelation had dumbfounded him. He had even adored Svana despite her foulness with Premier Callas. The same respect was not wielded in his direction, her expectations contradictory, immature.
Every word Svana had spoken when they'd faced off over Premier Callas had been carefully chosen to extradite herself of blame, to justify her own actions. Now he understood-she'd never expected him to seek sexual fulfillment with another.
His beloved had taken him for granted, made his devotion common.
There was something so very cutting in the revelation. After all, her actions had led to his response … his needs apparently considered less important than hers.
Svana had never truly been concerned about Shepherd's feelings on the matter, and now she stood before him and openly lied.
Faith shaken, Shepherd nodded sadly. What had once been the adolescent who'd climbed atop him at her first urge and mated, swearing to be his forever, was not the woman he found he could not look at.
Shepherd left in disgusted silence.
Back in his room he showered in water so hot his skin burned, found the discomfort cleansing, but still felt the taint of what he'd done-found the recoil of the bond, the violent sting, a welcome penitence for mating in a way that degraded them all. No stranger to suffering, he relished it as his due, just as he had each time he had purposefully harmed Claire for her own good.
A knock came to the door. One of his lieutenants entered to hand him something far more disturbing than anything else he had faced in the last grueling twenty-four hours.
Shepherd held a wretched piece of paper in his hand, unable to look away.
Even with the consuming sadness of Claire's expression, even with the arrogant tilt of her chin and judgment in her eyes, she was beautiful. But it was the marks on her neck, the split lip … wounds created when Svana had forced Claire to spread, that held Shepherd's attention.
Look at me. I am what you have done to yourselves.
"Sir," the Follower began, "these are blowing all over Thólos. Reports say they were discovered scattered at six locations so far. They have already been seen by the citizens lining up for rations."
Shepherd's unresolved anger, the long hours of poisonous rage, vanished at the realization of what her actions could mean. His silver eyes darted all over the page, absorbed every curve of a body that was only for his eyes … read her words … and could not look away from the complicated pain.
He wanted nothing more in the world than to hold her, to touch that naked skin, to do anything necessary to remove that expression from her face.
I was pair-bonded to Shepherd against my will. I carry his child.
Her message to the world, the exposed expression of her spirit-it was the final rebellion. Death was coming for her, and she was going to feed herself to the city in an attempt to show them all the truth of what they had become. The foolish, brave little Omega.
Do not make me stand alone.
There would be no sanctuary for Claire after this. She would not live long enough to know the pain of Red Consumption. Thólos would slaughter her; rip her apart like dogs fighting over a bone if he did not get to her first.
Knowing the Beta Corday had been with Svana and under surveillance all evening meant the man could not have known the Omega had done this. If the Enforcer did care for her, even a little, he too would know exactly what that flyer meant. Banking that once Corday saw the image he would impulsively run straight to Claire, Shepherd grabbed his coat and organized a team to make sure the Beta stumbled on that very flyer the second he stepped out his door.
The hulk addressed his soldiers, resolute and indomitable, with a mind as still as a frozen river. "A team must keep visual contact on Svana. Should she attempt to interfere or leave the Enforcer's domicile, I authorize interception and detainment."
"Yes, sir."
Not one man questioned him.
How could one female cause such havoc? Corday was furious, looking down with a scowl at the suggestive image. At first he saw only rubbish on the ground; most of it wet from the sludge, and then he saw familiar eyes.
Naked, she looked out at him from the page, marred and damaged, but so fucking proud. Then there was her message … her goddamn message! What the hell was she thinking?
As he made his way to her, Corday passed people on the street who had their own copy, whispering the name 'Claire' amongst themselves.
Corday moved as cautiously as he could through the city until the mid-level byways spread out before him. The flyer crushed in his hand, past pissed off, he found the Processing Plant shut up, desolate and lifeless, just as the Omegas intended it to look. But a careful eye could see the sentry with one of the Omegas' acquired automatic rifles guarding from the chute hatch. The way was opened for him and he went inside, barreling through the space to find Claire and shake some sense into her.
"Corday has made contact with the Omegas. No visual on O'Donnell."
Shepherd and a team of twenty had already surrounded the clever home Claire had found for her pack. There was little view within. Even so, from Shepherd's invisible perch on the building opposite, he and Jules could see the females mulling about in the dim space … but just like the Beta Enforcer scanning the room, they saw no sign of Claire's raven hair amongst the herd.
Chapter 7
Nona had been expecting the young Enforcer, and walked forward to greet him. "When you did not return I was worried you'd been killed. Claire assured me you were not-said she could feel you still lived."
There had been no chance to sneak off with Leslie demanding so much of his time. Three days he'd worked on translating the Followers' written language. Every hour they learned more, but at the cost of time he needed to be with Claire. Had he been here, he could have stopped Claire's lunacy. "Do you know what she did?"
Nodding, Nona gave a tired smile. "I do."
Corday held up the crumpled flyer. "How could you allow it, Nona?"
"There is no stopping that girl now." Nona gripped his arm, trying to get the boy to see what was right before him. "There is no stopping what's coming."
Corday cocked his head and had to agree. "You're right. Claire unleashed a storm of trouble with this shit."
"Corday-"
He didn't want to argue with an old woman. Corday wanted to argue with Claire. "At least tell me she is here."
"She is with the boy."
Corday narrowed his eyes, teeth clenched. "What boy?"
"Her dead boy."
"Oh … "
"She buried him in the compost pile out back." When Corday shifted away, Nona gripped his arm again, stopping the Beta so she might speak her piece. "Claire only just returned. She is tired; don't expect much."
Not interested in wasting more time, Corday held his tongue, marching right through Omegas who were less than happy he'd called again. A reinforced door swung in, sunlight invaded, and there she was, head bowed over a freshly turned pile of dirt.
The angle of the building hid her from view, forcing Shepherd to shift from his perch and move like a shadow over the roof. And then there she was, still as a statue, less than thirty feet away, staring down at a small mound of snow-dusted earth. Captivated, Shepherd let out a breath, watching the Beta approach her.
It was as if she didn't register Corday-not until the Enforcer shoved the flyer under her nose. "What is this?"
The Omega brushed the hair off her face, rubbing her skull as if it ached. "A picture of me naked."
"Do you think this is funny?" Corday snapped, working hard to keep from raising his voice. "Do you realize what you've done, Claire? Everyone will know. There will be no safety in anonymity, EVER!"
She would not need anonymity, but she did need Corday to move. "You are standing on my boy."
After a quick exhale, Corday stepped off the mound, pulling her to him. He hugged too hard, his voice breaking. "Your message … it is going to cost you any type of life. You will be hounded until the day you die."
The Omega pushed away, sniffed, and wiped her tears with the heel of her hand. "I know what I did. I know you cannot understand, that our agendas don't line up, but I cannot wait for the resistance to stop dragging its feet. There is no hero, Corday. There is no savior. Thólos has become hell and I cannot even heap the blame for it at Shepherd's feet. What has happened here, we did to ourselves. Either the citizens see what complacency in the face of evil has cost them, or they are all going to die."
Corday pressed his hands to his face to keep his frustration in check. "Are you trying to inspire a revolution? You promised me you would not attack Shepherd's men."
Claire took his hands, pulling them down so he could look at her. She looked like death; exhausted, dark marks under her eyes. "It is not an attack on Shepherd. It's an attack on conscience. It's an attack on the people of Thólos."
Why couldn't she understand? "They will hate you … "
"I don't care." Claire took a step back, her temper flaring. "I told you there was nothing left for me. Don't you get it yet? This is all I can give, so let me give it and stop being so goddamn selfish!"