So he had to tell her the truth. He had to face that fear and make sure she knew her worth—because that was more important than his own goddamn fear.
Now a sense of desperation filled him. His heart picked up speed, and energy flooded his body. He had to tell her that. Now.
Saturday night. She could be out with Carrie. Or on a date…though that didn’t seem likely, since she’d ended things with him to focus on her work. He’d take a chance and go over to her place.
Now that he knew his next move, there was no looking down. Or too far forward. Which was scary as fuck. Just focus on the next move. That was in his control.
He strode into the condo, slammed his glass down on the counter in his kitchen, and jogged out to his car. He made the short drive to Hayden’s complex in record time, parked, and tore up to her place. He rang her bell and waited. The faint sounds on the other side of the door told him she was home, probably peering out the peephole. He waited for her to decide whether to open the door to him, his heart pounding, his hands sweaty.
“Hayden.” He said her name quietly, leaning his forehead against the wall. “Let me in.”
The lock clicked and the door opened. She stood framed in the opening, her hair glowing like a halo in the light of the room behind her. His gaze roved over her face, taking in the shadows under her eyes, the tightness of her mouth, her pale skin.
“Hi.” He wanted to touch her so bad his hand lifted, but he stopped himself.
“You’re back.”
“Yeah.”
She continued to gaze at him.
“Can we talk? Just for a few minutes. I have a couple things I want to say to you.”
She hesitated, then stepped aside. “Okay. Come in.”
Her laptop sat on the coffee table with a spreadsheet open on the screen. A folder of papers was open on the couch, and a movie was playing on TV.
“Hey. You’re watching Netflix.”
“Yeah.” One corner of her mouth lifted. “Which you purchased and set up for me.”
He ducked his chin briefly. It was true. “And working at the same time. Multitasking.”
“Yeah. Have a seat.” She picked up the folder of papers to set aside, then the remote to stop the movie.
“Sorry to interfere with the movie.”
“No worries. It’s pretty handy how you can stop and start it.”
“Right?” He sat on her bright red couch and rested his elbows on his knees.
“How’s your dad?”
“He’s okay.” He relayed yet another update.
“Are you going to move back to Boston?”
He studied her face, her shuttered expression, her fingers twisted together, her quivering chin. Was Marco right? Did she really care?
“No.” He shook his head. “Talked to Cade and Marco about it tonight. My life is here.” Even though it felt like less of a life without Hayden in it.
“Oh.” The word was a soft burst from her lips.
“I’m still feeling guilty about it. But running Whitcomb Industries isn’t for me.”
“Are your parents disappointed?”
“I haven’t told them yet. They will be. But that’s nothing new.”
“They must miss you.”
“Nah. They don’t give a shit about me. Their only concern is the business.”
“Beck!” She stared at him openmouthed.
He shrugged. “It’s true.” He looked away. “I told you how things were with us.”
“Yeah. You did.”
Now he said the stuff he hadn’t wanted to say to Marco and Cade. But Hayden…he had to be honest with her. That was why he was here. “If they’d said anything—even one word—about missing me, or…” He coughed. “Or wanting me to come home and be in their lives…or loving me, maybe it’d be different. But all they talked about was the business and keeping it in the family. I’m the only one who can do that…but all they really care about is the business.”
“Oh.” She gazed at him with an anguished expression on her face. “They fucking suck, Beck.”
He barked out a surprised laugh. “Yeah. I never told you that whenever I dated a girl, they hired a private investigator to do a background check on her, and if she wasn’t good enough they’d talk to her and get rid of her.”
Hayden gave a soft gasp and covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes wide.
“Yeah, after that I figured it was better not to get involved with anyone. So I just screwed around a lot.” He met her eyes. “I thought I could do that with you and just have fun. But I was wrong.”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“When I offered you that money, I never intended to insult you. I sincerely just wanted to help.” He clasped his hands together and dropped his head briefly. He sucked air into his lungs, finding the courage to utter the words that needed to be said. “The truth is, I’ve…I’ve developed feelings for you, Hayden.” He swallowed and lifted his head to meet her eyes. “I love you.”