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Blue Lines(85)

By:Toni Aleo


Piper giggled. “You’re probably right.”

He nodded as he leaned on his knees, placing his head against them as he looked over at her. She looked happy, and he wondered if he did, too. He probably looked like a lovesick fool. Piper smiled as their eyes met, then her cheeks turned red and she looked away. He wanted to bring her into his arms, hold her close as he kissed her, but he wasn’t sure if he should. He was still as confused as he was the night before and nothing had been clarified. It was all on him to make the decision but he didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. He mainly didn’t want to lead her on any more than he already had. Sleeping with her might have been the best idea at the time, but it complicated everything, too.

“I don’t like those tattoos on your arms,” she said, bringing his attention to her. “I never have.”

Erik glanced down at his arms and picked at the hairs that covered the words “Nothing lasts forever.” No one ever liked his tattoos on his arms. But, there were no truer words for him; nothing had ever lasted for him.

“Some things do last, you know, and some people do stick around,” she added.

“Not for me. The only people that have done that are my parents and Jakob. This is mainly for all the women I’ve been with. I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

“So, it’s for me, too?” she asked.

When he looked over at her, she was glaring at him.

“I don’t know.”

Shaking her head, she moved her fingers together on her lap and locked them as she looked out into the road.

“That’s your favorite answer? That you don’t know.”

“I’m not going to lie to you. I really don’t know. You confuse me and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“You could let me in,” she answered as she looked over at him.

Erik shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Why? Because of your parents?”

“I don’t want to talk about them.”

“Because they were mean to each other and mean to you? I mean, excuse me if I’m pushing, but you are pushing me away when you don’t have to,” she said as her leg began to bounce. “I want to be here for you, I want to be the person that you need, but you are shutting me out. If you’d let me in, I could help. I know I could.”

“You can’t help me, Piper. I can’t be helped,” he said sadly as his shoulders fell. “You’d run the other way if you knew the demons I have from my past.”

“No, I wouldn’t, Erik. I would stand beside you.”

“You don’t know that,” he said with a defiant shake of his head.

“And neither do you. Give me a chance, let me in. Don’t you want to give us a try? Isn’t that what you said last night?”

“I said I don’t know what I want,” he countered, causing her to release a frustrated breath.

“I’d think that after last night, you’d want me,” she said softly. “I mean was I that delusional to think that maybe things are changing between us?”

Erik was slow to answer. “I don’t know, Piper. I want to think things are changing, but I just don’t know.”

She grabbed his hand, startling him as she demanded his attention. Looking up at him, she asked, “Do you care for me?”

Erik didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to give her hope for something he couldn’t guarantee. Not able to help it, he answered, “I do.”

“I care for you, too,” she said with a small smile pulling at her lips. He could tell she had liked his answer. As they continued to look at each other, she said, “I want to be here for you; allow me to be. Let me in.”

“I can’t,” he said, taking his hand from hers. Her hands fell into her lap as her shoulders slumped forward. She was offering him everything he wanted. Why couldn’t he trust her?

Standing slowly, he watched as she made her way toward the front door. Before she pulled the door open, she glanced back at him, her eyes filled with tears as she said, “Your parents don’t define you, Erik. You do. You have got to be the man that you want to be. If you want to be the abusive asshole your father was, then that is who you will be. If you want to be fearful like your mother was, then more power to you. But I know you are different. I trust you, and I care for you so deeply that it hurts.”

She wiped a stray tear with the back of her hand before she continued: “You are a good man. A man that came from the love of Cooper and Alla, your real parents. Stop letting Jasha and Katria ruin your life, because if you don’t, you’ll end up just like them.”