Koey shouldered his bag of paperwork and as he turned to leave, he looked back at Erik and said, “It will probably be her, too. A scorned woman as your baby’s mother is going to make the next eighteen years of your life hell. Especially when you find the right woman that you want to settle down, get married, and have a family with. You really haven’t thought this through.”
With that Koey left. What was Erik supposed to do? Be traded to some crappy team and have zero opportunity of making the playoffs ever? Nope, that wasn’t going to happen. He would do everything he could to stay and he would also try not to hurt Piper. She knew the game plan and if they both stuck to it, things would be fine. They would even be friends at the end.
It would be fine.
As he turned to Phillip, his confidence faltered. Phillip had the same look that Koey just had.
“What? You agree?”
“Yes and no,” Phillip said. “I know that this had to be done to protect your career, but I didn’t realize that Piper had feelings for you.”
“She doesn’t. She hates me. It’s okay, I swear. I think she is just mad about the prenup.” Phillip was shaking his head before Erik finished his sentence.
“No, dude, really. She looked broken standing beside you, and when you didn’t kiss her, her shoulders fell and so did more tears. I think Koey might be right, but at the same time, what were you supposed to do?”
“Right!” Erik said, pointing to Phillip. “If I knew about all of this, I could have changed it.”
“Could have changed it?”
“Sure,” Erik said with a shrug. “I would have opted for an abortion. I don’t want kids.”
Phillip blinked twice.
“Are you serious? I don’t think you have much of an option when it comes to that—either the girl wants to have the kid or she doesn’t. You can give your opinion but I don’t think it matters so much when it comes down to it.”
“Yes, I’m serious. I don’t want kids, Phillip. I’m not even sure how being forced into this is going to work. How am I supposed to care for and help raise a kid when I am the worst candidate for that job? The kid would be better off without me.”
“So, what, you’re going to give up? Not even try? Check your watch every second hoping that this marriage ends quickly so that you can run far away from her and the baby? If you’d planned on doing that all along, you should have just opted for the trade then.”
Erik paused, looking his best friend in the eye. Isn’t that what Phillip had suggested? To just get by? No one said anything about really trying. That’s not what Erik wanted; he wanted to go back to the life he had. He wanted to completely forget Piper; he wanted her and the baby to go away. This was all an act. They were role-playing so they could get back to how life was and really should be.
But he knew that in reality they wouldn’t. Nothing would be that easy.
Maybe he did do this in haste. Maybe he should have thought it through, but he felt like he had no choice. Now he was in a marriage with the one girl who had the power to crack the walls around his heart.
He had really fucked this up big-time.
Closing his eyes, Erik rolled his shoulders trying to shake off the anxiety.
“She deserves someone better and I’ll make sure to reimburse her in the end. She’ll be very comfortable, and hopefully she won’t hate me too much. The baby, you know … maybe I’ll try to be a dad, but I know I’ll suck. She’ll remarry and I’m sure she’ll pick a guy that will be a good dad.”
“Maybe you won’t suck at being a dad. Maybe you’ll be the best dad ever.”
“Maybe pigs will fly,” Erik said.
Phillip smiled as he suggested, “Maybe you’ll fall for her.”
Erik was full-out laughing by that point.
“Yeah, right.”
Phillip shook his head.
“I’m here, bro, remember that.”
With that Phillip walked away, leaving Erik to stand alone in the empty courtroom. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he took in a deep breath. Just like it had for the last six months, his mind drifted back to Piper. Everything always came back to her. He never understood his feelings for her. He thought it was only lust but it wasn’t. That’s why he ran so quickly after that night, and that’s why he needed this to be over with, too.
Erik couldn’t risk falling for Piper; he just couldn’t. As for the baby, he wasn’t lying when he said he would try. He would try to be like Cooper and not like his real dad, but he already felt like he was acting more like Jasha. As of right now he felt no connection to this baby, no real need to be a father. He also felt the need to run, just like his mother, Katria, did. She was the runner while Jasha was the abuser; he was afraid to find out what that made him. Their marriage was abusive in so many ways that Erik was scarred from it. His upbringing was hard, physically and emotionally. His dad beat Erik when his mom left him; Katria was always leaving. When Erik would ask when Mommy was coming home he was lied to and abused some more. He just wanted to be loved, and he was never given that luxury.