Blue Lines(106)

She wanted Erik.

With a sigh, Piper began opening the presents. She got the cutest things, sweet little outfits and all the necessities she would need for the baby. The coolest gift was the one Elli had gotten her. It was a monogrammed baby bag with Dimitri’s name on it that also was filled with shirts, socks, hats, burp cloths, and bibs, all with D’s on them. They were so precious and Piper couldn’t wait to see Elli to thank her in person.

Moving to the rocking chair in the corner of the room she sat down and rested her hands on her stomach.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered as she rubbed her extended stomach. She said it more for herself than for the baby, because she needed that reminder. She was nervous, scared, and unsure what her future held. Reaching for her Kindle, she started rocking as she read out loud. She had gotten so used to reading that way when Erik was there that she decided to keep doing it. She knew that Dimitri enjoyed her reading Harry Potter. He was her kid, for goodness sakes.

She was well into the book when the doorbell rang. Laying her Kindle down, she made her way down the hall. She still got a little anxious thinking it might be her husband coming to confess his devotion, but that wasn’t likely to happen. He hadn’t been back since he left. He only called or texted, saying that they needed to talk. She was pretty sure that everything they needed to say had been said, so really, she had no clue what they needed to talk about. He wasn’t calling to say he loved her or wanted her back; he only wanted to know that she was okay and he could hear that from everyone else.

Reaching the door, she was surprised to see that it was Alla and Cooper. They hadn’t called, because if they had, she would have made up some kind of excuse as to why they couldn’t come over. Opening the door, she greeted them with a small smile and said, “Hey, I wasn’t expecting y’all.”

Alla smiled, wrapping her arms around Piper for a big hug. She pulled back, cradling Piper’s stomach as she said, “He’s getting big.”

Piper nodded. “He is.”

She looked down at where Alla held her and smiled. She was all baby.

“We came by to drop some stuff off and to check in on you,” Cooper said, giving her a half hug before turning to grab what seemed like a million bags.

“We kind of went a little crazy,” Alla mentioned as they passed by her, bringing bags into the house.

“A little crazy?” Piper said as her living room started to fill with packages from different baby stores.

Alla laughed as she helped Cooper bring in a bassinet. She turned with a smile on her face as she said, “Erik went with us, too. He wanted to make sure you have everything off your registry.”

Piper was excited that she now had everything she needed but was sad that Erik couldn’t even come over to drop it off himself. He sent his parents, which was basically like another knife being stabbed into her heart.

“He’s worried, you know,” Cooper said softly. “He said you won’t answer his calls.”

Piper looked away as she nodded. “There is nothing to talk about.”

“Maybe you could call him?”

“I can’t. Just let him know everything is fine.”

“Piper, honey, I know that you must be upset,” Alla said slowly. “But it doesn’t have to be like this. He still wants to …” She trailed off and Piper knew it was because she didn’t know what to say. Piper wanted to laugh at the uncertainty of that man, but she couldn’t; all she could do was cry.

“I can’t do it. I need time to get over him because I still love him and I miss him so much,” she cried, her hand resting over her broken heart. “And I can’t face him right now.”

“I understand,” Alla said softly.

“And we are sorry, Piper. I wish that things would have gone differently for you two,” Cooper said, reaching out to take her hand in his.

The tears came faster as she shook her head. “No, don’t be sorry, because it’s as much my fault as it is his. I didn’t fight hard enough for him and I’m sorry I gave up but it was so hard loving someone who didn’t love me back.”

Alla came over, taking Piper’s face in her hands. “No, Piper, you didn’t give up, he did, and he sees what he did was wrong,” she said sternly. “He loves you, so much. He is just afraid of hurting you and is trying to hide behind walls that have been up since he was a child.”

“I miss him,” Piper whispered. “But I can’t keep on the way we were. Me giving everything I can, while he just gave me pieces here and there. If I would have known what to do to convince him I would be here for him always, I would have. He is the most amazing man when he wants to be, but then he shields himself and doesn’t let me in. It hurts me and I don’t want to hurt anymore.”