"This is bullshit!"
Gasping, my hand covers my mouth. Ry just said a bad word. If Ma's shocked, she doesn't show it.
"Young man, say goodbye to Evan and go to your room right now."
Ry nods, with one last hug for Evan. His eyes meet mine before darting away, trying to hide his tears. Without a word, he leaves with his head hung low. He's in big trouble, but I'm proud of him for sticking up for Evan.
"Evan, we'll have you back real soon. I can't promise when, but I can promise you'll be back for good. You're our family." Ma kisses his forehead.
"Come then." Ms. Sanders takes his hand.
His leaving hurts my heart. I never knew there was such a thing as a broken heart until my father's death, but now, my chest aches, like someone's twisting and squeezing everything inside, and breathing is hard to do.
"No!" I shout, my chin wobbling. "He can't go. He'll be alone. He can't, I need him," I wail, grabbing at him as the woman pulls on his hand. Her bitter eyes make me want to shrink back from her in fear. I don't like her.
"Carys, honey, he needs to go. Please say goodbye." Ma's voice wavers, lips quivering.
Seeing my mother hurting stops my fight. I want to stop this woman from taking Evan, but I don't want to hurt Ma. She needs me, too.
I'm stuck between two of the people I love the most. I want to yell and scream for Evan, but staying silent would be easier on Ma. I have to believe she'll do everything she can to get Evan back, but I don't want him to go. Without him, I won't be the same. I might die.
"Sweetness." Evan's voice breaks through my muddled thoughts. "I'll be back, I promise."
"Evan, I'm with you. I'll follow you anywhere, even into the dark."
He first said those words to me when I was wedged between fences during a game of tag. While Ry ran to get help, his words calmed me and made me feel safe when I was scared. I only hope I'm doing that for him right now.
His arms wrap me in a warm, long hug and his lips lightly graze my forehead. All too soon, he breaks away and heads for the door, never looking back.
Running in the opposite direction, I tumble upstairs to my room and fling myself onto my bed. Sobbing into my pillow, the blues take over-my fears, anger, loss, and sadness, all my tears.
I miss my pops. I'll never see him again. I miss Uncle Ciaran and Aunt Maeve, and most of all, my heart hurts for Evan. We told him he'd never be alone, that he would be with us, but now, he's more alone than he was yesterday.
Now
Carys
MUSIC'S BLARING WHEN I arrive home. Dammit-Greg's here. It's my place that I rent a few blocks from the bar. I could live at home with Ma, above the bar, but I need my own space.
I used to live with Evan in his beautiful townhouse. When he left, he gave it to me, but I didn't want it. There were too many memories, and it also felt all kinds of wrong.
Even so, I was stuck with it because I had no way to give it back. He was gone. Feeling obligated to take care of it, I rented it out for two years, but as we entered the third year of his disappearance, I couldn't keep it up. Having to go there and maintain the place was like a wound that wouldn't heal.
Each visit picked at the scab, tearing away at my fortitude and opening me up to all the love and disappointment. So, I locked it up. I still pay the few bills that come in with the money he left, but it just sits there, fading away … kind of like our love did, like we did.
Greg, my boyfriend of under a year, owns a place in Brooklyn but has a key to my place. Lately, he's been crashing here a lot. He wants to move in. Actually, he'd prefer I move to Brooklyn, but that's not going to happen.
I've been trying to end our relationship. No matter how many times I've said it isn't working, he doesn't leave. I'll admit, I've been a coward, not wanting to deal with how ugly this could get, if I put my foot down. Instead, I've been burying my head in the sand and coasting.
"Hey, babe." Greg enters the room as I collapse on the couch; he kisses my forehead before sitting beside me. "I thought you were working tonight."
I'm surprised he's here. Being a lawyer and the new guy at the firm, he logs crazy hours. Usually, if he's staying at my place, an early night for him is eleven o'clock.
"Hey." I lean my head against the back of the couch and close my eyes. It's not his fault, but I can't look at him. "I was, but I have a headache."
It's a lie, but I can't tell him what happened, that my ache is much bigger and irreparable. He knows about Evan, all of it gathered from my best friend, Lauren, and my family, because I refuse to talk about him. Without me saying a word, he knows Evan was the love of my life and he left me.
"Did anything exciting happen tonight?" His eyes search mine expectantly, almost as if he knows, but there's no way that's possible.