"Stop it."
///
I stiffen, fighting the pleasurable sensation of his erection rocking into my most sensitive spot. Heat gathers low in my belly as the delicious friction of our connection creates a fierce ache in my core.
"Then loosen your hold." He chuckles, although his throaty response reveals he's faced with the same need I'm battling.
My legs relax and he retreats. His absence leaves me cold, but clears my head and only makes it more pressing that Evan leave because I'm unable to keep my wits around him. I've moved on and he needs to leave me alone. Gently pushing on his chest, I try to distance not only my body, but also my mind. Of course, he doesn't budge.
"Van." He winces at the name I've deliberately called him, a name I've never used before. "I'm happy that you're back. Ma's missed you, Ry, Tripp, they'll be so glad to finally have you back, but we're over. Let's just be friends."
As the words leave my mouth, I want to vomit all over them or shove them back in. Let's just be friends? What the hell?
"What about you, Sweetness?" He's unfazed by what I said. "Did you miss me?"
"Carys," Ma calls. He glances over his shoulder, then back to me, his excitement evident in his eyes.
"In here," I say, pushing him away.
This time he readily moves, and I jump down from the counter. Before I can reach my mother to prepare her, she's in the kitchen. Cries of shock and glee fill the air at the sight of Evan in the flesh. Like me, she drops the bags in her hands and runs into his arms without hesitation.
His deep, hearty laugh as he kisses and twirls her around makes me weak in the knees. That, coupled with the slickness between my thighs, leaves me unsettled and tight with tension. His being here batters at my fortress. I need to keep the walls intact and him out.
"Oh, my lord, Evan James Hart! I've prayed for the day I'd lay eyes on you again. Let me look at you." Her hands cup his scruffy jaw and he lovingly peers down at her.
"Ma, I've missed you." He kisses her on the cheek.
"I've missed you, too, my dear boy. Let me fix dinner and you can tell us where you've been." Releasing him, she gathers the grocery bags from the floor.
"Ma, I have to go."
I must leave. I can't stomach dinner with them. It'd be reminiscent of the way it used to be before he left me, and like a shovelful of dirt, those memories would bury me in the past. I can't do this, can't be near him.
"What?" Ma stops mid-task, her gaze narrowing on me. She's shrewd and knows why I must go. "Aye, my dear. You go on then."
With a grateful exhale, I avert my gaze to the floor. She knows our history. She had a front row seat to how our childhood friendship morphed into more, and she was there when he left me. Most importantly, she was there after Evan, as I picked up the pieces of my heart, my life, and tried to start over again.
She wanted me to wait for him, but as time wore on, she stopped mentioning him. While she believed he'd return, she gave me the space to figure out what I wanted.
I wonder what she'll do now that he's back. I shudder-I can't handle her meddling, which she's not above doing. I'll never get back together with Evan Hart. Never. We're over.
"Thanks, Ma." With a quick kiss, I'm out the kitchen door.
"Sweetness."
Peering over my shoulder, my breath catches. He's leaning out the doorway with his arms bracing his weight on the doorframe, the very same thing he used to do when we were younger.
"What?" My voice cracks.
"You have to eat. Stay."
"I can't. My boyfriend's waiting for me." I fire my only shot, hoping to hit my mark.
Then
Evan ~ 11 years old
LIGHTNING CRACKLES ACROSS THE sky as the damp, thick air sits heavy around me. A storm is brewing and it's like someone's turned on an outside light. With the added glow, she's easy to spot under a tree in the park-not the smartest place to be with lightning.
Almost immediately, we're plunged back into semi-darkness as earsplitting thunder claps. She doesn't flinch, oblivious to the approaching storm and me.
Curled into herself, she's small, lost, unlike the mighty girl she is. Her hands are muddy from ripping out blades of grass, and my heart pangs at how she must feel, how I feel.
A fine mist of rain begins to fall as I crouch and wrap my arm around her. Wordlessly, she burrows into me, her head on my shoulder.
"Hey, how are you doing?"
As she raises her head, her lips curve into a faint smile. It's nothing like the typical beam of happiness I crave, and grief dampens the usual glimmer in her eyes. There's only sadness.