Slipping out of my clothes, I further examine my body in the mirror. My breasts are developing, although barely a handful. Even so, boys notice appreciatively. My waist and flat stomach flare out into decent curvy hips, making my waist appear smaller than it is.
My legs are muscular, but not too big, and they're long. I'm almost five feet seven inches and I may not be done growing. It's sometimes awkward how I tower over most of the boys my age.
Despite what Evan may or may not see, my body is changing and so are my feelings for him. I'm growing into a woman. My heart has always recognized Evan as its other half.
It sounds silly, but he's always gotten me in a way no one else has. We've never needed words to understand each other. I fear now, as we grow older, we'll grow apart, and that connection will change, fade, or die. I can't imagine a world where I don't have Evan.
§
Evan ~ 15 years old
"MOVE THOSE TABLES OVER there," Ma says before going back into the kitchen.
The bar is closed for a private party this evening and we're rearranging the tables.
"How do you feel about Carys seeing guys?"
Ma's not in earshot, but I keep my voice low as I wait for Ry's response.
"Not wild about it. She's almost twelve but looks like she's fifteen. Guys talk about her and it drives me crazy." He wipes the back of his hand across this brow. "And you?"
I could play ignorant and question why Ry would ask me, but we both know why. Carys is my sweetness, has been from the day I first laid eyes on her. It's always been pure and innocent between us, but almost overnight, it's changed, grown into this nameless, wild, desperate thing. It scares the shit out of me because I can't act on it. She's too young.
I'll have to bide my time, but even with that and not fully understanding it, this thing between us feels natural, like it was always meant to be.
"What are the guys saying?"
I'm struggling to keep my anger buried before it gets the better of me. I wasn't aware of any talk about Carys, but it doesn't surprise me. Most of the guys know she's mine, without me having to say a word. It also helps that I've got Ry and Tripp reinforcing that she's off limits.
"Not bad shit." He smirks, enjoying my frayed control. "You know, saying she's hot and shit like that. Look, I'd rather not talk about this, it's my sister we're talking about."
Unease slithers down my spine, leaving a heavy restlessness in my stomach. The urge to smash something or lock Carys away is overpowering, and neither is smart or possible.
The door to the bar opens and in comes Stacie. Damn, her timing sucks. She's a girl I hang out with, definitely not my girlfriend, although she likes to think she is. Sure, we go out and we've kissed, but it's casual.
"Hey, guys," she says, with one of her bubbly smiles.
"Hey," we answer in unison, putting down the last table.
She skips over to me and plants her lips on mine at the same moment Carys and Lauren enter the room. Carys stops, her mouth slightly open before it shifts into a frown. Our gazes clash as I abruptly pull away from Stacie.
Carys is pretty, freshly showered with her wet hair hanging loose down her back. Her tank top and jean shorts show off her healthy glow.
"Hey, Stacie," Lauren says, pushing Carys into the room.
Stacie's long blonde hair lightly whips my chest as she glances over at them.
"Hi! And you are?"
"Hi, I'm Lauren, and this is Carys, my best friend and Ry's sister."
"Hey … Care-iss? What a weird name."
"Actually, it's KA-riss," Carys says snottily.
"Yeah, that's what I said."
Carys rolls her eyes, obviously gearing up for a rebuttal as Tripp and Griff bound through the door. Tripp flicks his blond hair out of his eyes, striding purposefully for Carys. In one quick move, he grabs her hips and flings her over his shoulder. The poor girl squeals as Tripp jogs around the bar with her in his arms. Show-off.
"Tripp, put me down!" She laughs.
Planting her firmly on her feet, he twirls her around and tweaks her nose with the tip of his finger. "That was fun. Let's do that again, real soon."
"Let's not and say we did!" She's still laughing, beaming at both guys, and Stacie's completely forgotten.
Leaving Stacie, I greet Tripp and Griff, ruffling the younger one's shoulder-length blond hair. Carys stands in the middle of the four of us, the way it usually is.
///
She may be a girl, but she's the core of our group. Each of us look to her as the final decision-maker and we're quick to protect her, although she'd be the first to say she doesn't need protecting.