He'd say, "Lemon drop, life's too short to let other people tell you who you should be and what you should do."
Pops … I miss him. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, recall his sage advice, or mentally hug him. Four years. It's been four years since his death. Some days, it feels like yesterday, and others, like four million years ago.
I recall asking Evan once whether or not the dead could see us. I'm still not sure, but there are moments when I believe, without a doubt, Pops is with me. I may be alone or in the company of others, but regardless, I'll feel stronger, more loved, or comforted without any explanation for it. I like to think it's him watching over me or holding my hand.
I've just finished soccer practice and I'm filthy. Lauren usually sticks around after school to do her homework while I practice. If I have a game, she tags along, supposedly to cheer me on, but truthfully, it's to socialize and practice her ‘game.'
We're pushing twelve and have recently discovered boys-or I should say, we've discovered boys can be useful for more than ignoring, scorning, or annoying. With this knowledge comes the new, uncharted territory of flirting.
"Was that Jon Clausen talking to you outside the locker room?" asks Lauren.
"Yeah."
"What did he want?"
"He asked if I was going to Sara's party." I'm deliberately monotone, attempting to counter her enthusiasm.
"And what did you say?"
///
"That I didn't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know? You know he likes you, right?" Her indignation is way over the top, as usual.
"L, not this again, okay?"
"I don't know why you don't just go out with him! He likes you and he's cute! Or go out with Ben, he likes you, too!"
"Maybe because I don't want a boyfriend."
I don't respond well to pressure, and this is no different. Boys and going out are no big deal, but the way Lauren goes on and on makes me want to run for the hills.
"Yeah, or maybe because there's only one person you do want to go out with?" With her goofy grin and exaggerated waggle of her eyebrows, an unattractive snort escapes my lips at her absurdity.
Lauren's cute. She's hates the word, but it describes her to a T. Her thick blonde hair falls to her shoulders and her bangs are just a titch too long, with the ends hanging in her green eyes, which are always wide and smiling. All. The. Time.
"Yeah, maybe that, too." I'm hoping with my honesty, she'll drop it.
"C, you're almost twelve, not thirty-two!"
"I know how old I am, thank you very much."
"It's okay to hang out with guys. Evan does with girls."
"Don't remind me."
"And he's not exactly waiting for you," she says. Thank you for stating the obvious. She knows how to push my buttons and does it with minimum effort but gets maximum effect.
"Shut up, L! I've had enough of this."
"Hey, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. Look, you guys are probably meant to be together, but you're young and there are lots of guys out there. Don't wait around for Evan Hart to notice you. It's just like me and Ry."
My eyeroll is a kneejerk reaction to the topic of my brother and her we're meant to be together speech. I'd prefer to poke my eyes out with toothpicks rather than hear it one more time.
"You know I'm meant to be with your brother, but you don't see me waiting around for him, do you? I'm having fun with Tyler, so when our time is right, I'll be ready for Ry."
I can't help but snicker. Lauren is delusional if she thinks they'll get married and live happily ever after. No matter how many times I tell her it's not going to happen, she refuses to believe it. Ry sees Lauren, and will only ever see her, as his little sister's best friend, nothing more.
"Well, I still think you should go out with Jon."
"Argh, stop this."
Entering through the back of The Waters, the air conditioning is heaven after the scorching summer heat. My sweat is drying, making my skin tight and itchy. Gross. I whip off my soccer jersey and my damp black tank top clings to my slick skin. I use my jersey to wipe the back of my neck and down the front of my tank, grazing my chest.
"Who asked you out?" Evan's voice is low, on edge as he eyes me from head to toe, lingering on my hand still rubbing my damp chest. Goosebumps break out across my body and my belly flutters.
"Jon did." Lauren continues with her annoying assault. "Tell me everything!"
"Yeah, tell us everything," Evan mocks, his eyes never leaving mine. Kill me now.