Blood in the Water(120)

The world stopped turning. She was still dabbing the towel against his shoulder, but he no longer felt it.



“Pregnant? How? What?” He stuttered. He knew he sounded like an idiot, but of all the things she could have said, it was the thing that he had least expected.



The movement of the towel didn’t pause. “It’s yours. I’m not sure when. Maybe the day Dean died. Maybe that night after the shooting, that dream wasn’t a dream.”



He twisted, needing to see her, to touch her. He tried to pull her into his lap, but she stumbled away from the bed. His heart dropped and his stomach lurched.



“Beau...Ash... Tell me you’re not plannin’ on...” He couldn’t finish the thought. The best thing that had ever happened to him might just be about to turn into the worst.



Her expression changed from sad to furious in a flash. “No. No! How could you think that I’d murder our baby?”



Paul hung his head. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want me for the daddy.”



“It’s not the baby’s fault. I won’t keep it from you either.”



Something that might have been a little like hope flickered within him, and then died. “You’ll raise it on your own?”



She nodded. “With my family. This doesn’t change anythin’. Just ‘cause I’m carryin’ your child doesn’t mean I can trust you.”



He was defeated. “Beauty, if I thought there was anythin’ I could do...”



She crossed her arms adamantly over her chest. “There isn’t anythin’. You came here to kill my daddy. You let me fall in love with you, all the while knowin what you were goin to do. I just can’t trust you. I won’t stop you from bein’ involved in the baby’s life. I couldn’t do that. But I can’t be with you.”



She was going to leave. She was walking towards the door. He should let her. She was right; there was nothing he could do to make this better, no way to turn the clock back. No way to change the fact that the mother of his child hated him. That thought had him moving before he knew he was going to. He was going to be a daddy. Even if Ashleigh never spoke to him again, that was still the case.



Moving quicker than he thought was possible, he planted himself in front of the door, barring her from leaving. Before she could back away he caught hold of her and pulled her close. She struggled, wriggling in his grasp, but he kept his arms around her. He wouldn’t let her escape. He couldn’t feel the pain in his back anymore; it was blocked by his determination to find some way to make this right, or to at least make it work. He held on until Ashleigh relaxed, or rather collapsed against his chest. He could feel the wet of her tears against his skin.



“I’m not lettin’ you go.” He affirmed as he pressed a kiss to her hair.



She started struggling again. There was a frantic quality to her efforts. “No. I can’t trust you.”



“I never lied to you about how I felt, beauty. Sure, my reasons for comin’ here in the first place weren’t true. But I never lied to you.”



She sagged against him. He figured he had exhaustion to thank for that rather than forgiveness. “How couldn’t I see it? How could I be so blind again?”



He barely heard the words she mumbled, but when he put the sounds together and made it out he realized that he was dealing with more than just his own betrayal. He slid his hands to her shoulders and held her away from him so that he could look her in the face. He held tight, though; he wasn’t going to give her a chance to run.



“You couldn’t see it ‘cause there was nothin’ to see. I told you, right from that first I day I knew I couldn’t do it. Everythin’ you saw was truth. There wasn’t ever a time I was with you that I was thinkin’ of killin’ your daddy. The whole time I was tryin’ to figure out how to save him.”



“I didn’t know what to think. When that guy, when Spike told me. I didn’t know what to think. I still don’t.”



“You don’t have to think. You know.”



She dropped her eyes. “I’m not sure I know anythin’ anymore.”



He shook her, just a little. He needed her to see him. She looked up, confusion and hurt writ large in her eyes. “I love you. That’s all you need to know. I love you and I ain’t lettin’ you go.”



“It’s not just about me anymore.”



“Exactly. I don’t want you raisin’ our kid on your own. You don’t have to. I want to be a part of this. I want you. I want you both.”