Blood and Bone(28)

"You found us." My smile is wide and coated in red lipstick. I brush my  blonde hair behind my ears and nod. "I knew you would know the only  place in the world I would ever hide something." The light in my eyes  dims. "It's the only place no one would know about, unless I trusted  them more than anything in the world." I glance next to me, like I hear  something but the camera can't see it.

I look back at the camera, lowering my voice. "I've found something out.  Something that's big. All this time I've been hunting down Benjamin  Dash has proved to be enlightening. He's part of a CIA operation that  takes requests or cleanup jobs as favors to other organizations. He's  part of the cleaning team for cleaning teams-part of something the world  has no clue about. And the worst part is we knew all along. Our own  government runs this. Dash was selected because of his theories. He's  built a team of people who can become like psychopaths, and enjoy the  end of someone's life. They all like to watch the spark go out." Her  eyes narrow, like she's fighting emotions. "Anyway, he's a doctor, and  the intel I recovered on him and the program didn't do what it was  supposed to. Essentially, I showed up the government and its evil  plotting and mind screwing with completely innocent people. The evidence  against the government is in a safe-deposit box in a bank in Turin,  Italy, in the Cassa Depositi e Prestiti. The key is in the place where  you hid from the monsters. It's the safest place I could think to put  it." She looks down for a brief second, shaking her head. "Sam, or  whatever your name is now, let the past go. No good is going to come  from opening that box. It already ruined our lives. It already ruined  everything. Just let it go, trust me." She looks up at the camera,  nodding. "Let Father go. He was a weak man who preyed on the innocent,  and nothing we did when we were little can be blamed on us. We were a  product of our environment. That's what I've learned in all of this.  Learn to love and let go and be a strong person for the right reasons.  It's something we never have been very good at."

The video ends, ejecting the VHS when it's done. I look at Derek. "Explain all of that in really dumb terms."

A knock at the door startles me, but he stands casually and walks to it.  A man in a white jacket wheels in a cart of food, leaving us with it.  Instantly, I can smell chicken Parm. Derek lifts the lids, making steam  flood the top of the table. The food is incredibly hot and fresh, making  my mouth water immediately. He carries over a silver tray, placing it  on the coffee table in front of me. I take the silverware, nodding.  "This is evil. You know how I feel about food."

He chuckles. "I thought it was only my food."

I take the first bite of the noodles after dragging it through the  marinara and crispy cheese. My eyes close on their own, and a moan  escapes my lips.

"That hurts my feelings."

I nod. "It should. This is fantastic."         

     



 

"Better than mine?" He sits across from me on the floor with his silver tray of steak and potatoes. A meal more fitting for him.

"Explain."

He cuts into the juicy rare steak. I have to look away or I'll lose my  appetite. "There is so little to explain. You know it all. We fell in  love; I never lied about that." He takes his bite, lifting his  gray-green stare to mine. Watching him chew the meat, remembering the  image of my father butchering the man in the stark blue room, takes my  appetite away. He nods. "You fell in love with a monster. I never hid  what I was or what I did. You knew it all-the only person in the world  who had seen the place inside me where there should have been a soul."  He swallows, making me gag. He points his steak knife at me. "This is  why you made me take your memories. You couldn't eat meat. You couldn't  see me eat anything. You couldn't sleep without a light most nights,  even if I was there. You couldn't, and that was the answer to  everything. We'd be in a café in France and I'd ask a question and you'd  lose the color in your face, staring at a man who looked similar to  your dad. You wouldn't even hear me. You were lost in the shame you felt  for it all. I tried to explain to you that sometimes we are born in a  trap that's already set and we are going to lose no matter how hard we  fight it."

Tears run down my cheeks.

"At least you can cry now. That's a new development."

I sniffle, wiping my eyes. The plate of food in front of me is  delicious-I know it is. The man in front of me is devoted-I know he is.  The world is so large we could get lost in it if we wanted to-I know  that. But the trap has still got me. I am still losing against it. Only  this time I'm not going to keep losing. I refuse. I push the plate away,  determined this will be the last time I lose anything. "I want to end  this, all of it."

"Then you have to go to Italy and open the box."

I cock an eyebrow. "You saw the video. I told myself not to do that."

"That's the only way for this to end-take away the thing they want."

I shake my head. "There has to be another way."

The look in his eyes turns grave. "You and me dead is the other solution they have."

"The stuff in that box is protecting us from death."

He sighs. "No it isn't. We aren't safe as long as we have it. It needs to go away, and then we need to go away."

It just doesn't seem like the right choice. I shake my head again. "What  if the people who want the information against you are all dead? Will  you be free then? Who is it?"

He looks a bit defeated when he sighs and says their names: "Randall,  Rory, and my contact, Don Nobleman. The files in the system on us are  all blank. They don't keep work orders on the things we do, and every  death looks to be an accident, so there is no proof." His eyes narrow  with amusement as if he's laughing at a joke on the inside. "Apart from  the evidence you gathered. You were the only one who was ever able to do  it."

"So if they are gone and we destroy the evidence in the safety-deposit box, technically you and I are free?"

"Technically."

One thing picks at me. "Why did I keep the evidence?"

The grin he's been playing with finally spreads across his face.  "Because you were going to do the right thing and bring me in. You  needed to gather as much evidence of my sins as you could manage before  bringing me in. It would make my insurance I keep on the government null  and void. No one believes a guilty serial killer about anything. With  proof I was a savage, they could lock me up, and anything I tried to use  against them would look like the mad ravings of a lunatic."

My stomach drops. "Did I start a relationship with you for the job?"

He nods slowly, and the humor leaves his face. "That, and you found out  something in those files that made you realize you couldn't kill me."  There's a small part of me that fears he took me as his trophy when he  found out who I was. It's a logical fear in a situation like this one. I  don't think I will ever know if he forced me into sacrificing my  memories and past so he could keep me his prisoner. I have to assume  he's on my side.

"What happened at my father's house? Why did you light the fire?"

He shakes his head. "I never. I drove like a madman to the house,  arriving as he had set the fire. Randall was there. They had the VHS.  Rory wanted to bring you in, but Randall said you had betrayed them and  were nothing more than a loose end. They had released you to find the  VHS. It was all they needed. They left you there to die."         

     



 

"How did you know about the notch hole?"

He swallows hard. "There was a notch hole at my house too." He has never  spoken of his life before. "We discussed our worst sins once." He  leaves it there. I can see he's not going to talk about it more. "I  think you should go to Italy and get this over with."

"No."

He shrugs. "Then what's the plan?"

"No, we kill Rory, Randall, and that Don guy. Then we go back to the  West Coast and we start over. I'm never going to Italy, and I'm never  opening that box. It's my insurance."

His eyes widen. "You want to start over again? It's the third time."

"I know, but maybe it'll be the lucky time." There are a thousand things  hovering in my mind that I need to know or argue over, but this isn't  the time for it.

"What about the evidence? Leaving it there is a mistake." He gives me a look.

"We leave it there until I think we are safe to go and see what it is." Part of me is scared to even look.

He nods. "Sounds like a plan." He looks down at his dinner and groans. "What a waste."

"You won't finish it?"

His eyes dart to my meal. "Not if you won't finish yours." It makes me  smile. He's distant and cold and a killer in several different ways, but  he's still sweet.