Blind Item(27)

“Okay,” she said. “What do you boys like?”

“Well, it’s tricky,” began Sylvester. “Patrick likes the Polo Lounge but I like sushi.”

Nicola had been thinking more along the lines of a cupcake or In-N-Out.

“Yes?” She smiled.

“Well, because I asked, that means I get to pick, and I pick sushi.”

“All right, then,” laughed Nicola. “Let me figure out where to go.”

“Oh, I just booked it in Mom’s name. We have a table at Kazu in twenty minutes, and Kazu will prepare the secret menu for us. We have a private room so that those fucking PETA assholes don’t get their panties in a bunch over the whole live lobster thing.”

Nicola was speechless. It was as if Gaynor was suddenly speaking out of this twelve-year-old’s mouth.

“Fuck you, Sylvester, you’re such a jerkwad,” spat Patrick.

Sylvester ignored his brother. He turned to Nicola.

“You’re going to need dark glasses and a hat. I don’t want to get papped next to you today.”

Patrick sulked all through lunch, while Sylvester spoke fluent Japanese to Kazu himself as he sliced meat off the back of a very alive lobster. Nicola had had to glance away each time he did it, catching Patrick’s eye at one point. He shook his head and mouthed, “Can we go, please?” Shortly thereafter Nicola announced that they had to get back to the office, and Sylvester paid for lunch with his black Amex.

* * *

The seven p.m. deadline came and went, the boys locked in a war to see who could buy the most apps in the shortest time. Nicola texted Billy and Kara and warned them that she would either be late, or be bringing some kids home with her, which elicited streams of texted profanity from both friends.

At 7:45, she got a text from Gaynor saying she’d be there within fifteen minutes. “Fucking typical,” Nicola whispered to herself. “Your mom’s on her way,” she said, louder.

Sylvester ignored her, deep inside some video game. Patrick stared Nicola right in the face and said, “Hey, can I hang out with you tonight?”

“Uh, no, Patrick, I have plans. Maybe next time.”

Patrick’s face fell. Nicola started walking around the office, switching off lights and prepping to leave. She heard the door open and turned to see Gaynor swan into the room in an electric-blue metallic floor-length coat that was unbuttoned enough to reveal thigh-high matching boots and a lot of thigh. She really did have great legs.

“My darlings,” she deadpanned. “All three of my darlings. Mama is back.”

All three of her darlings ignored her.

Gaynor coughed loudly, looking from the twins to Nicola and back again.

“Oh, hi,” Nicola said, continuing to turn off the lights around the office. “So glad you didn’t have time for a complete makeover while you were so busy interviewing nannies.”

“Fuck nannies,” Gaynor groaned. “Fuck them and their estúpidas agencies. They can blacklist me all they want. For the amount I pay them, they should be able to cope with two innocent angels. But I will show them. I will pay Ingrid to nanny them. She sucks at answering phones.”

“So that makes her a good nanny?”

“No, it makes me not give a fuck and she can quit after two weeks. By then the agency will miss the money.”

Sylvester set his iPad down and made eye contact with his brother, grinning slyly. They did a slow-motion fist bump, and Nicola almost felt sorry for Ingrid.

“Hey, Mom,” Patrick said. “I ordered a pugwawa from a breeder in Idaho today.”

“That’s hilarious, mi vida.” Gaynor bent and pinched his cheek. “You know that dogs are disgusting and are for commoners.”

Patrick dropped his gaze. Sylvester stepped in.

“I’ve been e-mailing with designers, Mama,” he crowed. “I think I can have a line of high fashion for tween boys ready for the fall collections.”

“That’s more like it,” Gaynor cooed. She turned and faced Nicola. “So, I see that you have the gift? They behave for you?”

“I suppose,” Nicola began.

“I asked if I could take her to dinner tonight, and she said no,” Patrick yelled.

“She’s too old for you, mijo,” Gaynor whispered, still rubbing his cheek.

“Well, that’s it for me, then,” Nicola sniffed, returning to her desk. “You’re so welcome. It was a pleasure to babysit for you, Mrs. Huerta. Now I need to get home and do my science homework.”

Gaynor kissed the tip of her middle finger and then flipped Nicola the bird.

Nicola shut down her computer and pulled her car keys out of her purse. Her phone rang, the vibration startling her. She didn’t recognize the 310 number on the screen, but something told her to answer it.