As he caught sight of her, his face broke into a smile and he stood rapidly, knocking the glass of water off the arm of the chair. He ignored it and started to walk toward her, his arms open.
She walked down the several steps to the soft grass and was instantly enveloped in his strong arms. He squeezed her so hard she could barely get her arms around him to return the hug. She felt him press his nose into her hair and take a deep breath. “Oh, Nic, it’s so fucking great to see you,” he said, still squeezing.
Gradually she gently pushed him away, breaking the hug. He took her face in his hand and stared into her eyes. She could see tears welling along his bottom lashes and broke contact before one of them could make an escape.
“Thanks for coming,” he said.
“Well, thanks for having me,” she responded.
“Don’t be silly,” he said, taking her hand. “I’ve wanted to see you since I got here, but, you know, I had this whole junkie thing to take care of.”
Nicola sighed. “Too soon,” she said.
“Sorry.” Seamus looked at the ground. “This isn’t easy.”
“I know,” she said. “It’s not easy for me, and I’m just here for an hour. I’m not doing the hard work you are.”
“I was a jerk,” he said. “This is the least I could do.”
She looked into his eyes, and his chin started to tremble.
“Please don’t cry,” she said.
“I’m doing my best,” he said with a half laugh. “I’m just pretty raw, and I’ve been doing my forgiveness work, and Nic, you’re the only one whose forgiveness I really care about.”
“So, do you wanna walk around or sit somewhere?” she asked.
“That was your least subtle deflection yet,” he said.
“Yep. Clumsy as fuck.” She laughed. “Wanna sit or walk?”
“Let’s go sit over by the pool; nobody goes in the pool.”
He led her by the hand to a bench beside the pool. He threw some pillows from nearby chaise longues on top of the cement bench. Nicola sat, and Seamus followed suit, sitting so close to her that their thighs touched. They sat in silence for a full minute.
“I’ve missed you,” he said softly.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am. I wanted to come up and see you, but we had to agree to a one-month lockdown to make it look serious to the studio. And the insurers.”
“I know,” he said. “I’m just sorry that you had to go through all this, too.”
Nicola flashed back to the days after the overdose, the hiding out at Gaynor’s, having to change her cell number, hiring security for a week, finding a new apartment in a security building, her mom being besieged by reporters, even though her mom had loved it. It had been a nightmare.
“It was pretty bad,” she said. “But look on the bright side. I got a new phone, a new apartment, and a new car.”
“And a promotion,” he added.
“Yes, I did get a promotion, but not the way I wanted to get one.”
“You gonna stick with it?”
“Yeah; like you said, this whole town is about lucky breaks, and that’s definitely the only way I can look at this. I mean, I’m currently working as publicist for a man I nearly loved, a friend who sold me out, an heiress who hates me, and a movie star who tried to bite my face off. My client roster is like Dante’s ninth circle of hell. Or a John Waters movie.”
Seamus chuckled, and Nicola’s heart ached in her chest.
“So, before we talk anymore, I do have to ask one thing.”
“Seamus, don’t; not here, not now,” she said softly.
“I know the answer, but I have to ask.”
Nicola focused on a hummingbird that was skimming around the pool.
“Is there any chance for us as a couple when I get out of this place?”
“I’ve thought long and hard about that,” she began hesitantly. “And I think that for now, for the sake of both of our sanity, we should keep it professional. I’m still processing everything, Seamus. That was too much of a zero to sixty for me. And once again, as soon as I think I can trust someone, I get run over by a truck.”
“You’re not Hollywood, Nic,” Seamus said. “And I mean that as a compliment; that’s probably why I fell in love with you. You’re not a desperate vulture looking for a corpse to feed on. You’re fucking cursed with integrity, and I love that about you, even if it’s destroying me right now.”
“I don’t want to be Hollywood long term; I know that for sure now. But I can’t go back to Dayton, so I’m going to stick around for a bit until I figure out what’s next. I keep some big-ass walls around me, and they’re up real high right now. I don’t want to string you along and say I can forget what happened. I don’t know if I can. But if you’re happy with me as your publicist, and maybe some blurred lines later on, I’m down. I don’t hate you. I nearly fell for you. You’re in a pretty special place in my heart. But if you ever … ever … lie to me again…”