“Those words really mean a lot when they’re coming from someone who just downed a couple of Oxys. You’re fucking high. Thanks for this moment that I’ll fucking treasure forever.”
Nicola had a sudden out-of-body feeling, seeing herself in her red bikini and slides, yelling at a movie star in a dusty barn. She angrily hurled her purse to the floor and pulled out her shorts and tank, dragging them over her wet swimsuit.
“I need to get out of here, Seamus. And I need to get away from you.” Her breath caught in that telltale you’re-gonna-cry way and she blinked angrily to stay the tears.
Seamus went to move to comfort her and stumbled.
“My God, you’re so fucking high. Why did you have to get fucking high this weekend? Oh my God, are you always high?”
Seamus looked at her with guileless honesty, and she felt a pang in her heart.
“I didn’t want to go cold turkey in front of you,” he said simply. “I’m maintaining. I thought I’d packed enough but I hadn’t, so I called Amber when Bluey didn’t answer.”
“You know that’s the fucking problem, don’t you? You’re like a fucking two-year-old, with an army of nannies bringing you drugs. This sucks.” Nicola’s voice started breaking. “You’re this close to being a good guy.” The tears started. “You were this close to being someone I could fall in love with.”
“I still am, Nico.” Seamus opened his arms and took several steps toward her. “I’m gonna clean up and we can get back on track.”
“No, Seamus,” Nicola said, a new fire in her voice. “We don’t have a track. You can get as clean as you want. I don’t care. You’re an actor and a junkie, so you’ll always be a goddamn fucking liar.”
Seamus collapsed cross-legged on the dirty floor, his face in his hands.
She turned and sprinted from the barn.
CHAPTER 33
THE TERCEL SCREECHED TO A halt on a dusty road hidden between oleander hedge walls on the far side of the huge estate. Nicola looked at her knuckles gripping the steering wheel, circles of white tension. She breathed deeply and willed her fingers to relax. She killed the engine and sat in silence, swirls of dust spinning outside the windows.
She looked at her phone, plugged in but still only at 24 percent power, for the millionth time in thirty minutes. No word from Kara. Her green suitcase had exploded all over her bedroom, and it still didn’t look like she’d been back to the room since last night. She punched in another furious text.
Kara. I’m leaving. I’m gonna wait for half an hour, but if I don’t hear from you, I gotta go. Sorry.
Her phone rang just as she hurled it onto the passenger seat. Billy.
She debated answering it for a second and then held it up to her ear.
“Sunshine,” he chirped. “How’s your day?”
“Yours is better,” she said tensely. The tone in her voice chilled Billy. He hadn’t heard it in a year.
“Seamus is a junkie,” he said coldly.
“Now you fucking tell me. I just found out myself. While I was standing wet, and in a bikini, and he was doing Oxy with that scuzzy bitch Amber.”
“Fuck, baby. Fuck. I’m so so sorry. Bluey literally just told me. I guess he’s been trying to get his ass into rehab. For you.”
“Too fucking late, Billy. He’s had a month to tell me. He knows the whole story with Biscuit. He fucking knows. And he lied.”
“You coming home, punkin?”
“Yes; I need a hug, Billy.”
“You’re only seventy-five miles away. I’m ready.”
“I have to wait for Kara, who’s off fucking Tom Kendall and has been MIA for nearly twenty-four hours.”
“Oh shit, that’s great!” Billy nearly screamed before catching himself. “Okay, back to you, back to you—man, that Seamus is a dirty dog.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you okay, babe? Seriously? Do I need to send a helicopter?”
Nicola took a long breath and pushed it out in a deep whistle.
“Yeah. Yeah, no permanent damage. Feeling stupid won’t kill me.”
“You’re not stupid. And from what I heard, he was ninety-eight percent legit with you. Bluey already has him booked into residential rehab as soon as he’s done with this movie.”
“Wait—how the fuck do you know so much about Bluey?”
“We have a lot to talk about when I see you.” Billy chuckled. “He and I helped Gaynor avoid a disaster last night. It was kind of thrilling.”
The phone vibrated. It was Kara.
“Gotta go. Kara’s alive.” She switched calls.
“Gurl, what’s the dramurgency?” Kara sounded like she’d just woken up. “Did someone take your photo?”