I give him a weak smile, shifting from foot to foot as I try to give him a valid explanation as to why I didn't call him, without offending him. "Well, to be honest, we're only new to this, ah, dating thing, and I didn't really think that would be okay at this point."
He stares at me, looking slightly offended. His eyes scan over my face for a moment, before he shrugs it off and says, "I guess I understand, but you can call me if you're in trouble. Please don't feel like you have to hesitate."
Right. Of course. Jacob is a nice guy, he probably wouldn't have even thought twice if I called him asking for help. Still, Ace is a cop and it makes more sense that he was here, just in case something else happened. At least, that explanation makes me feel better for not calling Jacob, because truthfully, I just really didn't want to, and I'm not entirely sure why that is.
"Yes, thank you. Next time, I promise to call you."
He winks at me, seemingly having let it go. "So what is the cop going to do?"
I shrug. "He said he would give me a call later. He's going to change the locks again, check the security on the building, just little things like that."
Jacob's face scrunches. "What's wrong with the locks I put on?"
Oh dear. I didn't think he might be offended by that.
"He just said he was going to put in bigger ones, maybe an extra latch. It's not that your locks aren't sufficient … "
Jacob narrows his eyes. "Are you sure he's not making this situation out to be worse than it is?"
I shake my head in confusion. "How do you mean?"
"Well, it is highly possible that you did sleepwalk. I know the laptop is a little above and beyond, but I don't want people putting ideas into your head, or making you think something that might not be right. Scaring you excessively might not be helping matters."
He's right, to a point. I've thought over and over how it just doesn't make sense that someone would do this, but I also don't understand how I could do all those things sleepwalking. I'm at war with myself, wondering if I'm making a big deal out of nothing, or if I'm not making a big enough deal about something serious. I honestly don't know.
"Have you considered at least going to see a therapist?"
A therapist.
I did consider it, but what can they do for sleepwalking? Give me drugs to knock me out so heavily I can't do it? No, that wouldn't make me feel good. I don't think that's going to solve anything.
"I have considered that."
His eyes scan my face. "I want you to do whatever makes you feel safe, Hart. If you feel like having the cop checking it all out does that, then I'm fine with it. I just don't want anyone to make a mountain out of a molehill … you have enough going on in your life."
That's sweet. But, now I'm questioning myself. He has a point. Am I scaring myself for nothing?
Am I making too big a deal out of this?
Dammit. My head hurts.
"I mean"-Jacob laughs lightly,-"you can be a little clumsy. You did leave your keys in your car last week, and you have a habit of forgetting things."
He's right.
I do.
I feel uneasy now. Wondering if I am taking this too far.
"You're right. It's just right now, I feel uneasy … "
He smiles and raises a hand in a casual gesture. "Of course. You do whatever feels safe. I don't like the idea that someone might have been in your apartment either, so I'm glad you're being cautious."
I shudder. "I'm also trying to figure out why anyone would even want to get into my apartment. It makes no sense to me."
He shakes his head. "No, it certainly doesn't. Not at all. What time is he changing the locks?"
"He said he is working long hours today, but will come and do it in the next few days. He's waiting for the locks to arrive. I'm okay with that. I'll double-check all the locks when I go to sleep each night until then."
Not that that makes me feel any better, because if someone has been getting in, they have been doing it regardless of the locks. I think maybe I should check the windows, too. Ace mentioned putting locks on them. We're not on ground level, but I don't think it would be hard for someone to climb up the fire escape and pry one of them open. But to do that without making any noise? I doubt it. I make a mental note to have a look when Jacob leaves, just to be sure.
"Do you need me to stay with you for a few days?"
My instinct is that I don't want him to stay, which I'm not sure is the right answer. I really like Jacob, I truly do, but we're only casually seeing each other right now. I'm not even sure you could classify us as being anything but friends who are seeing where it goes. We're not in a relationship, and I'm not ready to be, not at this stage at least. I don't want to offend him, I care about him a lot, but sleeping over seems like it'll be putting too much pressure where it doesn't need to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm not giving as much as he is. Maybe I need to put more effort in. Try harder. Can I truly say I'm not ready, when I'm not truly putting my best foot forward?