Blind Date(23)

I close my eyes, and think about her question. I mean, sure I've been thinking about him more often lately, but I've also been really enjoying myself with Jacob, and I thought I had the guilt under control. I feel okay about moving on. I really do. So why would it be affecting me so much?

"Sure," I admit. "I mean, I guess Ray has been on my mind more than normal, but I have felt mostly okay with it."

"Still, it is a big step," she says, calmly. "It's possible that this is a reaction to you finally moving on. It's probably normal-remember in college you did it a few times when we were sharing a room."

"I'm sure you're right. I remember that night when I sleepwalked out into the hall and someone was trying to talk to me." I take another breath. "So, you're probably right, I have done strange things in my sleep before. It just freaks me out and I can't really figure out why. The logical explanation says that you're right and I'm overreacting, that makes the most sense, but for some reason, I just can't shake the worry."

"It would freak anyone out. Maybe go and see the therapist you saw after Raymond died, if you're concerned. She might be able to help you make more sense of it, but from an outsider's point of view, it kind of seems normal. You're closing that chapter of your life, and inside you're probably feeling that a little."

"Yeah," I say distractedly. "Yeah, no, you're right."

"Try not to stress, hon. The more you stress, the harder it'll get for you."

"Thanks, Tay. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, you probably wouldn't sleepwalk, for a start … "

I laugh softly. She always knows how to make me feel better. Even during the most difficult times, she knows what to say.

"I'll call you later. I have a big day ahead, I just needed someone to calm me down. Thank you."

"I'm always here, you know that," she says, her voice soft. "Later, honey."

"Laters."

I hang up the phone and walk back into the living room, staring at the television screen. My eyes burn as I watch Raymond and me on the screen, so happy, so in love. He was the best man I've ever known, and I know I'll miss him until the day I die. That doesn't mean one day I won't love again-I'm sure I will-but Raymond certainly set the bar high. He was incredible. With trembling hands, I walk over and pull the video out, taking it back to the box and sealing it once again.


      ///
       
         
       
        

Sleepwalking.

Could that really be what's happening?

Why does my gut tell me there's more to it?





NINE


"So it happened again?" Jacob asks, sipping his coffee as we sit across from each other at breakfast the morning after my big test.

"Yeah," I shrug. "I don't honestly remember anything, I just know that the video was playing when I woke up."

He purses his lips, deep in thought. "And you're concerned about it?"

I purse my lips, too, and then nod. "I'm a little worrie-I mean, what if it isn't me doing it … "

His brows knit together. "You think someone is doing it on purpose?"

"That sounds stupid when you say it out loud," I mumble, staring down at my plate of untouched scrambled eggs.

"Can I get you another coffee?" the waitress asks as she passes.

Both of us decline, and she continues on her way without another word. She's been too busy smiling and flirting with the group of men sitting at the next table to pay too much attention to us.

"It's not stupid," Jacob assures me, reaching over and patting my hand. "How is your security in that place?"

I give him a sheepish look. "It's not that great, I'll admit. I could probably break into my front door without a lot of effort, but I figure it's safe enough because it's in a good area, you know. And Ace lives right next door."

"Ace?" Jacob questions.

Right, I forgot I never told Jacob that I live next door to a detective, and one who can, more often than not, be a dick.

"Yeah, he's a detective. I don't have a great deal to do with him, though."

He nods, glancing down at his breakfast. He doesn't say anything for a moment, then he looks back up at me. "Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to change your locks for you. It'll make both you and me feel safer. Is that okay?"

My heart flutters. That's sweet. He cares enough to make sure that I not only feel safer, but am safer. "That's kind, thank you."

He smiles, and continues with his breakfast. When we're done, we go down to the local hardware shop and get some new locks and keys, and then we head back to my apartment. We're just through the front doors when I see Ace coming out of the elevator and making his way towards us. He stops when he notices us. He's fully dressed for work, but I would have thought he went to work earlier. Maybe he came home for something.