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Bless Me, Ultima(27)

By:Rudolfo Anaya


“We have to get the hell out’a here,” Eugene said nervously, “this hick town is killing me!” Although he was the youngest he had always been the leader.

“Yeah. It’s hell to have seen half the world then come back to this,” León nodded across the river to the small town of Guadalupe. He always took his cues from Gene even though he was the oldest of the three.

“It’s that Márez blood itching,” Andrew laughed. Andrew listened to them, but he would not necessarily be led by Gene. Andrew liked to be his own man.

It was true, I thought, it is the Márez blood in us that touches us with the urge to wander. Like the restless, seeking sea.

“I don’t care what it is, Andy!” Eugene shot back. “I just feel tied down here! I can’t breathe!”

“And papá is still talking about California,” León said dreamily.

“That’s a bunch of bullshit!” Gene spit. “He knows damn well mamá would never move—”

“And that we won’t go with him,” Andrew finished.

Eugene scowled. “That’s right! We won’t! He doesn’t realize we’re grown men now. Hell, we fought a war! He had his time to run around, now he’s getting old, and he still has the kids to think about. Why should we be tied down to him?”

Andrew and León looked at Gene and they knew he was speaking the truth. The war had changed them. Now they needed to lead their own lives.

“Yeah,” Andrew said softly.

“It’s either California, or going to work on the highway with him—” León thought aloud.

“Bullshit!” Gene exclaimed. “Why does it have to be just those two choices! Man, I’ve been thinking. If we got together we could move to Las Vegas, Santa Fe, maybe even Albuquerque. There’s work there, we could rent—”

Andrew and León were looking at their brother intently. His forwardness and audacity often caught them off guard.

“Man, we could save up, buy a car, women—”

“Yeah, Gene,” León nodded.

“It’d be great,” Andrew agreed.

“We could go to Denver, Frisco, hell the sky’s the limit!” His voice quavered. His excitement carried to his brothers.

“Gene, you’ve got beautiful ideas!” León beamed. He was proud of his brother. He himself would never have dared to think so far.

“Well let’s not just sit around and talk about it, let’s do it! Let’s cut out! Move!”

“I can see the action now,” León rubbed his hands, “money, booze, women—”

“Yeah! You’re my boy!” Gene socked him.

“What about the folks?” It was Andrew who asked. They were quiet momentarily.

“Hell, Andy, they’re doing okay,” Gene said. “Ain’t the old man working steady. We’ll send them money when we can—”

“I didn’t mean that,” Andrew said.

“What?” I waited. I knew what he meant.

“I mean papá’s dream about moving to California, and mamá wanting us to settle along the valley—” he said. They looked at each other uneasily. All their lives they had lived with the dreams of their father and mother haunting them, like they haunted me.

“Hell, Andy,” Gene said softly, “we can’t build our lives on their dreams. We’re men, Andy, we’re not boys any longer. We can’t be tied down to old dreams—”

“Yeah,” Andrew answered, “I guess inside I know you’re right.” I felt very sad when he said that. I did not want to lose my brothers again.

“And, they still have Tony,” Gene said and looked at me. “Tony will be her priest,” he laughed.

“Tony will be her farmer,” León added.

“And her dream will be complete and we will be free!” Gene shouted.

“Yahooooooo!” They jumped and shouted with joy. They danced and wrestled each other, and they rolled on the ground like wild animals, shouting and laughing.

“What’da yah say, Tony, you goin’ be her priest!” “Bless us, Tony!” They knelt on the ground and raised their arms up and then down towards me. I grew frightened at their wild actions, but I found enough strength to shout at them.

“I will bless you!” I cried and made the sign of the cross, like I had done in the dream.

“You little bastard!” they laughed. They grabbed me, took off my pants and took turns spanking me. Then they tossed me on the roof of the chicken coop.

“This calls for a celebration!” Gene shouted.