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Bleeding Love(46)

By:Harper Sloan


Her hand stops and I know she’s lost in her memories.

I can see what’s coming even without the words. In my line of work this is a scene we see. Not a lot but too often to sit right. But even knowing what’s coming and being ready to hear it is two different things. I give her the only thing I can while I wait for those circles to continue against my skin. I tighten my hold and pull her as close against me as I can get.

And wait.

“Two guys I had never seen in my life got to me before I even got close to the bathroom. They were older, which wasn’t rare with those parties, for some of the college kids from the local community college to show. Twenty minutes later what little innocence I had left was gone as they took turns stripping it from me. They were smart, took me down to the basement where there was one of those soundproof rooms. Apparently the kid who lived there, his dad was some hot shot in the record business. Had his own recording studio, locked so tight it didn’t matter how hard I yelled for someone to save me. Jack found me. He missed them by seconds. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he picked me up and helped me leave the house without anyone seeing me. I know that cost him, taking care of me and not going after them. It cost him even more to keep that secret. One that no one, besides you now, him and those two men know.”

“Darlin’, please,” I beg as a feeling of helplessness so strong takes hold.

“You need to know. I wish I could keep this from you, but I don’t want to start this with my ghost pulling me down anymore.”

I nod, my chin rolling softly against her head.

She shifts and her body moves from my side until she’s draped across me completely. Her forearms rest against my chest and her tiny hands land on my face, her thumbs tracing my lips as she looks into my eyes.

“Molly isn’t Jack’s.” Her voice, so small with those three words and I hold her eyes and wait for her to finish.

Giving her what she needs. It kills me to keep quiet and let her voice her pain. Fucking guts me. She needs this and all I can do is wrap my arms around her and wait it out.

“I have no clue who her father is, Lee. No clue,” she continues.

She closes her eyes and two tears roll down her cheeks. I bring my arms around from the hold I had on her and wipe them away, causing her to open her eyes again. I search her gaze and make sure she is holding strong. She gives me a small nod.

“After I was raped, I didn’t even consider the possibility. I wasn’t stupid, but I had been too busy healing the wounds they left on my soul that it didn’t even filter through. When I found out I was pregnant, Jack took charge. He wouldn’t listen to a word I said. He enlisted the next day and a week later we were married. He knew, God he knew, if he left me there I would rot. And, Lee, I would have. He gave up everything for me. He had a full ride playing football and he was so good. He gave it all up to marry his best friend because he felt responsible for what happened to me.”

“Baby, he loved you,” I tell her honestly.

She shakes her head and it kills me that she really believes that.

“Megan, look at me. See me, darlin’.” I plead. I wait for her to collect herself before I continue. “You know I love Dani like she’s my sister. You and Jack are just like Dani and me. Best friends with a bond that can’t be shaken. He didn’t give up anything for you that he wasn’t okay with losing. But he was not okay with losing you. He did what he did because he loved you. Have you been living with that guilt this whole time?”

“Since the day he told me he enlisted. He did it all for me, Lee and in the end he died for it. I’ve felt that every day for the last six years. He gave me a happy life, you have to understand that, we were so blissfully happy that I didn’t mind that we had the most unconventional marriage. But I have always felt the guilt of his decision since the day when he made it. I didn’t show him. Never let him see that cloud hanging over us, but it was there and I felt the bone-crippling pain of that guilt when they told me he was killed.”

“You need to let that go, darlin’. Let go of that thought that he didn’t love you and forget it. I’m telling you, as a man cut from the same cloth, if Dani had been in your shoes, I wouldn’t have married her, baby. Not because I wouldn’t have wanted her safe, but because I don’t love her past a sibling-like bond. I would have made her safe, but not by marrying her. Your husband, baby, he loved you.”

Her eyes widen and I watch, helplessly, as her lids fill and when the first sob hits her body, I take her in my arms and hold her as she not only relives her pain, but comes to terms with the realization that she’s had it all wrong for six very long and very agonizing years.