Bleeding Hearts(86)

“What do you mean by self-delusion?”

“I mean that I still don’t know what Paul Hazzard wanted out of me, but whatever it was, it wasn’t my self. He was not the kind of man who would be attracted to a woman like me. He didn’t have to compromise. He could have Candida DeWitt.”

“He doesn’t seem to have wanted Candida DeWitt,” Gregor pointed out.

Hannah waved this away. “He could have had a woman like Candida DeWitt. He could have had someone young. Do you know what my theory is?”

“What?”

“After the murder of his wife, Paul’s business went downhill. That is common knowledge, Krekor, we don’t have to speculate about that. He needed money but he had trouble finding women with money to marry him, because they did not want to put themselves in the same position as the wife who died. And I have money, Krekor. Not millions and millions and millions of dollars, but enough. All five of my sons pitched in together to make me a portfolio ten years ago, and they have managed it very well.”

“Well,” Gregor said, “that’s a thought. But I think you’re being a little too hard on yourself. You have a lot more to offer than your portfolio.”

“Possibly, Krekor, yes. But not to a man. Not for romantic purposes.”

Gregor started to protest, then looked away. Hannah smiled grimly. Oh, she had been right to be upset last night. She had been right. She had been making such a spectacularly public fool of herself.

Gregor cleared his throat. “All right, now. Let’s go back to the point when you ran upstairs. Did you go straight to the bedroom?”

“I went straight to the master bathroom.”

“You didn’t stop anywhere along the way? You didn’t take any detours? You didn’t throw yourself on your bed or look in your closet or anything else like that?”

“No.”

“Okay. Now, try to remember. When you went into your bedroom, were either of the windows open?”

“The windows?” Hannah drew a blank. “Of course they weren’t open, Krekor. It’s February. It’s below zero outside at night.”

“But you didn’t check to see if either of the windows was open?”

“No, I didn’t check, Krekor, but if one of them was, I didn’t open it. You are being ridiculous.”

Gregor shifted in his chair. “Let’s try it from another angle,” he said. “Did you at any time feel cold? When you first got up to the second floor? As you were crossing to the bathroom? Were you cold at all? Did you feel a breeze?”

“No, Krekor.”

“Would it have been possible for you to take that route with the window closest to the bathroom wide open without your noticing either that it was open or that it was cold?”

“I don’t know, Krekor. I was very upset.”

“And you were crying,” Gregor said.

“That’s right.”

“You were crying very loudly.”

“Very loudly.”

“Were you aware of it when Paul Hazzard came into the bedroom?”

“I don’t know when he came into the bedroom, Krekor, but he did knock on my bathroom door. I assume it was when he first came in. I had not been in the bathroom long.”

“You had the door locked?”

“Oh, yes.”

“What did he say to you when he knocked on the door?”

Hannah thought it over carefully. “He called out my name,” she said, “and then he asked me to talk to him and then he asked me to please come out.”

“But you didn’t do either of those things.”

“Oh, no.” Hannah shook her head. “I was crying too hard and I didn’t have anything to say. And I looked awful. I always look awful when I cry.”

“Did he go on trying to persuade you?”

“No, Krekor, he did not. He said only that he was going to stay right there in the bedroom until I came out, and then he started walking back and forth.”

“You could hear that?”

“It was right outside the door, Krekor. It was very close. And I was listening for it, if you know what I mean.”

Gregor had finished his tea. He stood up and put his cup in the sink.

“Did you hear anything else? Did you hear Mary Ohanian come upstairs?”

“No.”

“Or Helen Tevorakian?”

“No.”

“Did you hear anybody at all come into the room? Or the sound of the bedroom door closing?”

“No, Krekor, but you have to understand. I was crying. I was wailing. I was having what Bennis would call a ‘world-class emotional binge.’ ”

“But you did come out eventually,” Gregor said, leaning with his back against the counter. “Was the emotional binge over? Had you decided you wanted to talk to him?”