Before I knew what had happened, Calix had lifted me against his body and placed me into the shower before turning on the water. At first, the spray was cold, and it shocked me right out of the disbelieving state I’d been trapped in.
No longer silenced by astonishment, I barked. “Calix!”
“Nova, shut up.” Calix growled against my ear. “We’re not discussing this.”
“Then I’m not fucking you again.” I bit out through my anger - or, rage was probably a better word for the way I was feeling. My blood was hot. It was so hot I was uncomfortable.
Calix spun me around before pushing me back into the wall of the shower. He caught my chin firmly in his hand and I realized I’d angered him. I’d actually angered him to the point he lacked control. His hand was shaking and his lips were drawn into a tense line on his face as he stared down into my eyes.
“I am your husband. You will fuck me when I want you to fuck me, Nova. You will suck my cock when I tell you to and you will spread your legs upon my request.” His fingers tightened on my chin and I felt tears of rage sting my eyes. “Do you understand me?”
“Fuck you, Calix.” I spit the words.
“Spread your legs.”
“I said fuck you!” I screamed, and then I lashed out at him. My hand connected with the side of his face once, twice, three times before he caught my wrist in his grip. It was so tight and punishing, I wanted to cry out, but I didn’t. I bit my tongue and swallowed my tears. “You’re not the man I married.”
He smirked. “But I am, love. I’m the man who took you, who married you, who holds everything you cherish in my palm. Test me. I dare you.”
I closed my eyes against the breaking pain of my heart shining in their depths. Calix was a monster. He would always be a monster and I hated myself for thinking I held the ability within my gentle soul to tame him.
“Open your legs, Nova.”
“No.” I shook my head against the wall of the shower. “I won’t give myself to you willingly.”
“You will.” He said with a confidence that I ached to shatter. It wasn’t an egotistical kind of confidence - it was a malicious confidence. And I hated it.
Fighting to push the words from my throat as Calix placed a knee between my legs, I spoke. “You’ve brought me into this.” I closed my eyes against the assault of his cobalt orbs as I continued. “You brought me into the middle of a war, Calix. I know there will be casualties - I can feel it in my bones. But I’m in the middle. I love every soldier - can you understand that? You did this,” I whispered. “You brought me into this, forced me into this war I can’t even begin to understand. I will not allow you to bring another innocent into this mess. I refuse to allow you to bring our child into this mess.”
I knew my words affected him in a way I couldn’t understand, because he dropped his hand from my chin and his knee from between my legs. I couldn’t feel him anymore. And when I finally opened my eyes, Calix was gone.
I felt as though I’d been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as I stared at the bathroom door I knew Calix had escaped from. For long minutes, I stood there, simply staring at the door. And then I turned into the now warm spray of water and finished my shower - alone.
When I was finished with my shower, I brushed my teeth, applied a soft scented vanilla cream into my skin and dressed in a chiffon pastel pink dress that ended in the middle of my thighs. It had thin straps and a loose sweetheart neckline, and like most dresses I wore, it was cinched at the waist. I wore a white swimsuit under the dress, knowing I would more than likely be swimming at some point during the day. Not wanting to wander from the room without Calix, I moved to the glass doors, opened them with the same remote Calix had used, before moving onto the deck and lowering myself into the same white recliner chair that Calix had worked me into an orgasm in only the night before.
Memories of the night before clashed with memories of this morning in the shower. Calix had made love to me twice and not an hour later, he’d practically informed me that he would force me if he had to. This bothered me deeply. Calix had always pushed me, he’d always forced me to be with him in a way - but he’d never pushed his way inside of me without my consent. I had a feeling, that if he ever stooped so low, that I would ever find it in myself to forgive him. Yes, I loved Calix. But love only held so much power when it came to offering forgiveness for an unforgivable action.
Leaning my head back against the chair, I closed my eyes and soaked up the Greek sun. It was warm and after the cold vibes I’d been feeling from Calix in the shower, the warmth was welcome. It was needed.