“What are you feeling?”
I dropped my face into my hands, suddenly frustrated with myself. “I don’t know.”
Calix pulled my hands gently from my face. “Love?”
“I’m nervous, and, and afraid. And I don’t know what to expect - what you expect from me - sexually,” I shook my head frantically. “Or, um, not sexually. And,”
Calix halted my frantic ramblings with a firm voice. “I’ll guide you, Nova. With me, you’ll never have reason to be afraid or uncertain.”
“But,”
“You need to change, love, or we won’t make our flight.”
“Oh,” I glanced to the floor.
“Nova, we’ll talk more about this on the flight. But right now, I need you to get dressed.”
“I don’t know what to wear.” I whispered. I was frazzled. This was too much at once - too many decisions - too many things to be uncertain about. In the last two weeks, I hadn’t had to make a single decision - not really, anyway. There were too many factors I didn’t know - like where the plane would be landing. “How do I choose what to wear if I don’t know the destination? It could be warm, or, or it could be cold. What if I wear sandals but I need boots?”
I saw Calix’s eyes widen at my frantic mumblings and obvious uncertainty. His hands settled on my hips, where he led me to a cushioned bench in the center of the closet. “Sit here.” He said firmly.
I watched as he moved about the closet. He plucked a black pair of leggings from a drawer before tugging a loose beige, bat-winged shirt from the hanger. His eyes scanned the bras and panties before he chose a white lace matching thong and bra set. And then he moved back to me.
“Stand.” He commanded and I did. Somehow, and I didn’t know how it had happened, but I had come to need his instruction. The decisiveness within him had calmed the wired nerves that had somehow shed their rubber overcoat and threatened electrocution inside me. In this moment, I was so thankful for his calm, controlled dominance and the way he claimed a situation. Actually, I was just thankful for him.
Calix knelt down before me, his blue eyes hot on my body as his fingers hooked into the band of my panties at my hips. He slid the material down my legs, and in the silence of the room I heard his breath hitch.
“Fuck,” he growled a pained sound.
“What?” I whispered, placing my hands on his tense shoulders as I stepped from the lace and into a new pair. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.” His reply was tense - spoken through clenched teeth.
“Calix,” I breathed his name and his eyes lifted to mine as he pulled the panties into place over my hips. “Talk to me.”
“My new wife, a woman I have wanted to sink myself into for years, is naked - and I’m fuckin’ putting clothes on her body.” He bit out. “When all I want to do is push her to the ground and fuck her until I can’t see straight.”
“Oh,” I didn’t know how I felt about his words. Their raw need was consuming and I squeezed my thighs together.
Calix’s eyes widened and his lips parted as he watched me do this. “Fuck me.” His fingers dug into my hips and he closed his eyes, breathing in deep. “We don’t have time for this.”
When he opened his eyes, his movements were precise. He dressed me quickly and efficiently before taking my hand in his to guide me to the door of the bedroom.
It felt odd to walk from the room I had spent so much of my time in for the last fourteen days - without taking a single thing with me. I was aware that Calix had arranged for everything to be packed, bought and transferred for us, but I still felt odd not even having a purse with me.
“Calix,” I squeezed his hand, suddenly worried. “I don’t have a passport.”
“You do, love.”
“But,” I tipped my head back to look up at him.
“I have connections.” He said as though it were an explanation. “Your new passport has your new name. Nova McKnight.”
That was the first time I had heard my new name. It did - funny things to me. In a way, I felt reminiscent to my old name - the name I had always known. But at the same time, I couldn’t deny that my new name gave me butterflies in the pit of my belly.
Absently, I mumbled. “Nova McKnight.”
Calix stiffened in the hall at the sound of his name, now my name, on my lips. He looked down at me, his blue eyes scanning my face, and then I was in his arms with my back against the wall and his lips were on mine. His tongue slid between my lips, memorizing my mouth, swirling, sucking and licking. My hands dove into his hair and I held on tight so as not to completely lose myself in this man - my husband.