“I,” I paused hesitantly. “It’s beautiful, Calix.”
He pulled in a breath, sensing my distress. “But?”
I turned in his arms, finding his body extremely close to mine. “But I wish my family could be here.” I looked up into his blue eyes that were fastened on my face in study. “I wish Amy could see the magic, the transformation,” I closed my eyes slowly before opening them. “She would fall in love with this, with you - to see this. And Jaylah, oh,” I covered my lips with a shaky hand. “She would be so romanticized. I swear to you she wouldn’t stop dancing, dreaming about a prince sweeping her off her feet beneath the twinkling lights shining alongside the stars. And my mom - she would cry. She would be so happy that one of her babies had found a man who wanted, and could, give something like this to her.”
A tear slid from the corner of my eye and Calix wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before catching the back of my neck in his palm. His voice was gruff. “But if they were here, if you had your family, would you still be so willing to go through with this day, love?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation, regret, uncertainty or deceit in my reply. It was the honest truth - and it surprised me.
I wasn’t the only one who was surprised.
Calix hissed in a sharp breath as he stared down at me, and then his mouth was on mine. And my hands were around the back of his neck, in his hair, over his strong shoulders. His body was against mine. My back pressed into the railing as he kissed me, sliding his tongue between my lips - tasting me. There was so much heat in this kiss I felt it in my toes. Calix hadn’t kissed me with such abandon since the night on the dock. And I didn’t know it until now, but I missed it. I missed feeling his lips on mine. I missed feeling him against me. I just missed him. Despite all the discomfort he’d pushed me to accept, he’d given me so much more comfort than I ever could have expected. In Calix, I had something I didn’t understand, but I knew I needed. So, even if my family were here, I’d still marry him. Despite all he’d taken from me and all he’d done to me, I’d still marry him.
It was in that moment, I realized I was gone. The Nova I’d always known was gone - replaced by a woman head over heels in love with a dark, hauntingly beautiful man.
Calix pulled back then on a strangled growl and I moaned, “Please.” Pressing myself into him, I begged. “I need this now, Calix. Give me this - this illusion that I’m really yours and that this is beautiful and right.”
His arms tightened around me at my words and he spoke against my throat. “This is real love.” He vowed. “And. You. Are. Mine.”
I nodded, and he caught my mouth once again with his.
“Yes,” My word was a plea, a vow, and an acceptance of all that he was and all that we were. And I knew, that no matter what this future held for me, Calix and I were in some twisted way fated for this life, this path, and this moment. I knew, because in all that this moment was, it was beautiful and right. In all its darkness, it was light.
Chapter 7
After our kiss, Calix poured me a cup of coffee from the carafe before asking me if I’d prefer pancakes or blueberries for breakfast. Although I was feeling much better about the day ahead, I wasn’t entirely rid of the wedding jitters fluttering through my belly. I was in no part wanting to fill my fluttery belly with something so heavy as pancakes.
Knowing Calix would force something down my throat, I bypassed the argument and ate a bowl of blueberries and milk sweetened with a small spoon of brown sugar.
Finishing my breakfast, I settled back into the chair with my cup of coffee between my hands when I noticed Calix watching me intensely. Smiling, I cocked my head. “What?”
The muscle in his cheek twitched the way it sometimes did and I wondered what, if anything, was bothering him. “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” I asked.
“When you said you’d marry me today, either way. Were you being honest?”
I nodded, whispering, “Yes.”
“Why?”
He just had to ask a question I didn’t have an answer for. “I don’t know.”
“Try to explain.”
Looking down into my coffee, I sighed. “Despite everything you’ve done to me and taken from me, you’ve also given more to me than you’re aware.” I looked up to find his face was pale and his lips were parted. I shrugged. “I find comfort in you, Calix. I - I don’t know what else to say.”
For a long moment, he was silent. And then he spoke. “Would you like to see your wedding dress?”