“Twice in the last week, ” said Leia. “And that’s another reason to question myself. “
“Because you have bad dreams? Anyone who was there would. “
“Tarkin said I had dictated the choice of targets for the Death Star’s demonstration, ” Leia said softly. “I haven’t been able to make myself stop hearing that. I still see the explosion. ” She looked away. “And sometimes I can’t help feeling as though they died because of me. That I survived because I betrayed them. And what kind of qualification is that? “
“Nonsense. They died because of Tarkin, ” Han said. “He only said that to manipulate you. I hate to see that it’s still working. “
“Memories have a long reach, ” she said, settling back against her pillows. “I just realized something else, Han. About why this matters. And it’s a better answer to your question than my doubts about belonging where I am. ” She shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. “My father did so much to divide the galaxy. I feel as though I have to do what I can to unite it. “
“You can’t take all that on-“
“I can’t not take it on. I have my demons, too-Luke’s not the only one. That’s why you can never ask me to walk away, ” Leia said. “I don’t know if I belong in this job, and it makes me bone-tired and half crazy sometimes, but I want to be here. Here, maybe I can make a difference. ” She turned to her husband in the darkness. “That’s all I’m trying to do in that room with Nil Spaar, Han-make a difference. Is that wrong? “
Han reached for her hand and squeezed it affectionately, forgivingly.
“No. There’s nothing wrong with that. But you might think about throwing in a vacation here and there, when you start to feel the walls closing in. Let someone else mind the store for a while. “
“There isn’t anyone else, ” she said, with a hint of sadness. “They come here to see the president. So that’s who I have to be. “
“Viceroy, before we recess for the day-I wonder if I could ask a favor of you. “
“What is that? “
“I wonder if you might be able to satisfy my curiosity on a historical matter. “
Nil Spaar bowed his head. “If I can, Princess. I am not a historian. “
“This is recent history, ” Leia said, “well within your own lifetime. “
“That is no guarantee that I am acquainted with the answer, ” the viceroy said with a smile. “But ask, and I shall see what I can tell you. “
“When the Empire occupied the League worlds, did they establish any shipyards there? “
“Oh, yes, ” Nil Spaar said. “Several of them. This history I am well acquainted with. We Yevetha are skilled in matters of making. It is a gift of our very being. These hands”-he waggled six long, glove-covered fingers before his face-“are sure. These minds”-he tapped his thorax, just below his neck-“learn quickly. But the Empire made our gifts our curse. Thousands of my people were made to work as slaves to repair the very machines that were used to oppress us, and to wage war on your Rebellion. “
“When the Empire left Koornacht-“
“They took all that they could with them, and destroyed what they could not. The shipyards, the space ports, the power stations that fed them, even our own few vessels killing more than six thousand Yevetha in the process. It was one final act of savagery to end a reign of cruelty, ” said Nil Spaar.
“But, tell me, Princess-how is it that you ask this question? I know your face, and this is not idle curiosity. “
“No, ” Leia admitted. “My defense advisers have become concerned about the possibility of old Imperial capital ships in the patrol area of the Black Sword Command-Farlax and Hatawa. It’s more a matter of bookkeeping than anything else, but I’ve had to give my permission for some further investigation. “
“Your advisers are only prudent to insist on it, ” said Nil Spaar. “They serve you well to worry over such things. Tell me, how many ships are they seeking? “
“Forty-four. Viceroy, I can’t offer you anything but my goodwill. But you could be of great help to me in what should be a small matter, ” she said. “If you could ask your historians to look at the list of missing ships, and relay what you can about the fate of any that may have been in Koornacht-“
“You ask us to revisit old unpleasantries, ” said Nil Spaar.
“I’m sorry. I was only hoping to keep the search vessels as far from Koornacht as possible-perhaps even make the search unnecessary. “